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Nuts's avatar

How to find a goal in my life? How to figure out what I could enjoy doing?

Asked by Nuts (68 points ) February 5th, 2013

I feel empty and I’m very unsatisfied with myself. I’m almost 30 and I still haven’t figured out what I could enjoy doing in my life. It might be anything simple, I don’t really care, I don’t need to be a great musician or scientist or other kind of hero. I just desire so much to fit in it, to enjoy it, to be good in it.

I desperately want to find out, but I don’t know how.

How can one find out where is his/her place? What do you think one might try?
How did you or someone you know eventually find out?
(sorry for my English, I’m not native speaker)
Thanks for any ideas.

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8 Answers

Kayak8's avatar

In an effort to find things one enjoys, one must DO things. If you think you might enjoy art (even if you may not be particularly skilled), take an art class with other like-minded adults. If you think you might enjoy martial arts, or hiking, or any other activity find a way to DO the activity.

In my own life, I love my work, but I didn’t always like what I did. I did volunteer work and that helped me find the career I have now that brings me great joy. On days when work is not as fun as I wish, I have my artwork and other outside of work activities that I enjoy very much.

There is a saying: “Fake it, until you make it.” This basically means, do things with great enjoyment (even if it is pretend) until you find the thing that really brings you joy. It means doing things several times in order to explore it more further before discarding it as something that is not a good fit for you. Sometimes you have to change in small ways in order for a good fit to be possible. The key is practice and practicing with a full heart committed to the task at hand (even if that task is washing the dishes or some other mundane activity).

Coloma's avatar

I’d suggest taking a personality test that will give you insight into how you work as an individual. Your brains preferences and personality styles best fit for certain careers/jobs. You can research/google Meyers Briggs or Enneagram personality tests and go from there. Great tools for self and other discovery and while considered a pseudo science by many I am a huge fan and learning personality theory has been of great benefit to me on a personal level.

So many people try to stuff their square pegs into round holes, discover yourself and you will discover the work environment that is best suited to your personality preferences.
I’m a creative type that does best in free flowing and innovative, multi-tasking environments that allow for a lot of creative problem solving. No wonder I can’t do desk jobs without wanting to kill myself and others around me. lol

augustlan's avatar

Try lots of different things, through volunteering, taking classes, going to meet-up events and so on. When something sparks an interest for you, pursue it further. And don’t feel bad…most of us still don’t know what we want to be when we ‘grow up’! I’m 45, and only in the last few years have I discovered work I am passionate about.

PS: Welcome to Fluther!

TheobromosHumper's avatar

What gives you pleasure now? Do you read? Watch movies? Like to run? Enjoy cars? Like playing with computer programs? Do you game? If you do work that is associated with what you enjoy doing, you will have a better chance of enjoying the work, as well.

It needs to have some of the same skills, not just be in the same broad area. Like reading books means you like reading, not necessarily making books. You might not enjoy making paper or binding books. Although, you might.

Buttonstc's avatar

There’s a very good book which might spark your thinking on this subject.

The title is “What Color is Your Parachute”.

You can find it on Amazon.com

marinelife's avatar

Have you considered career counseling? If you went to college most of them have placement centers. They could give you aptitude tests, which would show what you would be good at or might like.

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

I know that my son was one of those people who wanted to be good at something. Actually he wanted to be better at something than anyone else on the planet, or else he didn’t want to do it at all. Very unrealistic! Luckily as he matured, he realized that it was okay if someone was better at it than himself.

You are the only one who knows what you enjoy. Like @kayak8 said, try a lot of different things and then make a choice. If you keep changing course for too long, though, you will never settle down and really concentrate on the thing that you have decided best defines you.

Don’t be like my son was, and expect to be good at the thing you have chosen without putting the time, effort and training into becoming good at it. First step is to pick a worthwhile pursuit that you love. Second step is to do whatever it takes to become as good at that pursuit as possible.

mattbrowne's avatar

Take Seligman’s famous test. I found it extremely useful. Numerous studies confirmed its value.

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