General Question

Mama_Cakes's avatar

Do you have a hard time feeling vulnerable?

Asked by Mama_Cakes (9320 points ) February 5th, 2013

If so, why?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

22 Answers

marinelife's avatar

Everyone does. Because you feel vulnerable. Because you are open to being hurt at that moment.

KNOWITALL's avatar

I’ve lived a somewhat tough life having to protect myself from others, including a parent. I tend to live my life in a strong, solitary way for the most part taking care of myself, others and business. I have a husband, friends and coworkers, but I don’t allow myself the luxury of being vulnerable, maybe someday.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I can do it, but it’s scary at the same time. To let someone get that close is amazing, but it takes a lot of trust.

zenvelo's avatar

No, I don’t, but it is not something I volunteer for unless it is someone I trust. I have been stomped on before, but I am still willing with the right person.

Shippy's avatar

I choose who I am vulnerable with. I used to be very much a hard ass, and I find myself being vulnerable more and more with certain people. In a way it’s a good thing, since they are understanding me better. Then there is also the benefit of allowing oneself to be vulnerable in order to understand oneself better.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe @zenvelo Now I feel like a sissy. :)

bookish1's avatar

I grew up in an abusive family, I have been in abusive relationships, I am doing my best to manage a disease that could kill me in the short term and is killing me in the long term, I am going through a transition that leaves me open to all sorts of oppression and snafus, and the funny thing is that I still don’t have trouble feeling vulnerable. It is the easiest thing for me. Instead, I have trouble feeling strong, and I am having to learn to very consciously erect boundaries.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@KNOWITALL It’s not you’re a sissy. You’re taking the safe route. It takes a lot of courage to let someone that far in. I’m giving them a huge capacity to hurt me. But it is so good when you find someone you can trust that far.

RandomGirl's avatar

Most of the time. I was hit by a distracted driver last spring when I was biking home from work, and most likely because of this, I’m paranoid. I’m probably the most careful person I know. I absolutely hate crossing traffic, whether I’m traveling by car, foot, or bike. I only cross the street in a crosswalk and after both directions of traffic have stopped. I know it’s frustrating to drivers, but I have no faith in other human beings. I’ve gotten hit once and had about 7 or 8 (I’m losing track) close calls in the last year and a half, where I’ve jumped out of the way or the car has stopped inches away from me. One of these days I’m going to get a license plate number. One time a cop saw the whole thing and pulled him over… Now that was nice.

Of course, that’s physical vulnerability… Emotionally, I tend to be the same way (not trusting other humans), but there’s one special guy for whom I’m putting myself on the line, completely vulnerable, and I don’t care one bit. He’s a special guy. But generally, I’m very careful and I only open up to really special people.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe Yeah, safe and stable is what I lacked as a child and is what I have now. It would probably take a lot of therapy for me to risk those.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@That’s interesting. I had safe and stable up to age 12, then that all went to hell but I learned to value people from it. I learned safe and stable can vanish in a heartbeat, but it’s still worth trying to let someone in.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe I LOVE people and I VALUE people, truly. I just keep them at arm’s length regardless of the relationship between us. No one has said it was hurtful or anything,

glacial's avatar

I’m not sure I accept the assumptions of the question… if I’m with people I don’t trust, then I don’t let myself be vulnerable in those situations. If I’m with people I trust, then I’m not actually vulnerable, am I?

So… I tend not to feel vulnerable. And I think that’s just fine.

SamandMax's avatar

I tend not to notice any moments of vulnerability unless the circumstances dictate that otherwise is a good thing. And that’s hardly ever.

Gifted_With_Languages's avatar

I do around most people. People I am really familiar with I don’t. I just am not that much of an open person.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Not if I’m with people I trust, although I do tend to trust too easily sometimes and get hurt in the process. But getting hurt and bouncing back is just another life lesson, I guess.

annewilliams5's avatar

For the last 7 years I have felt vulnerable, and I’ve hated it.

josie's avatar

Yes. In fact I have to constantly remind myself that I am not invulnerable

laurenkem's avatar

Yes. I refuse to be vulnerable around real-life people, as I tend to get my feelings hurt easily. After years of being taken advantage of, I’m now known as a “bitch” to a lot of people, but I’m much happier for it! Keeps the dregs away!

tinyfaery's avatar

I just put it all out there without thinking how others may react. I can’t be hurt by people I don’t care about it. However, not giving a shit about what other people think took a bit of time.

augustlan's avatar

I trust everyone until they give me a reason not to, so I’m pretty vulnerable all the time. Yes, I’ve been hurt by it, but the connection and closeness it often brings is worth it to me.

jonsblond's avatar

^^What she said. It’s in my nature to think that most people are good. I put myself out there and I get hurt a lot, but the few good connections I make are worth it.

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