Do you have a hard time feeling vulnerable?

Everyone does. Because you feel vulnerable. Because you are open to being hurt at that moment.

I’ve lived a somewhat tough life having to protect myself from others, including a parent. I tend to live my life in a strong, solitary way for the most part taking care of myself, others and business. I have a husband, friends and coworkers, but I don’t allow myself the luxury of being vulnerable, maybe someday.

I can do it, but it’s scary at the same time. To let someone get that close is amazing, but it takes a lot of trust.

No, I don’t, but it is not something I volunteer for unless it is someone I trust. I have been stomped on before, but I am still willing with the right person.

I choose who I am vulnerable with. I used to be very much a hard ass, and I find myself being vulnerable more and more with certain people. In a way it’s a good thing, since they are understanding me better. Then there is also the benefit of allowing oneself to be vulnerable in order to understand oneself better.

@Adirondackwannabe @zenvelo Now I feel like a sissy. :)

I grew up in an abusive family, I have been in abusive relationships, I am doing my best to manage a disease that could kill me in the short term and is killing me in the long term, I am going through a transition that leaves me open to all sorts of oppression and snafus, and the funny thing is that I still don’t have trouble feeling vulnerable. It is the easiest thing for me. Instead, I have trouble feeling strong, and I am having to learn to very consciously erect boundaries.

@KNOWITALL It’s not you’re a sissy. You’re taking the safe route. It takes a lot of courage to let someone that far in. I’m giving them a huge capacity to hurt me. But it is so good when you find someone you can trust that far.

Most of the time. I was hit by a distracted driver last spring when I was biking home from work, and most likely because of this, I’m paranoid. I’m probably the most careful person I know. I absolutely hate crossing traffic, whether I’m traveling by car, foot, or bike. I only cross the street in a crosswalk and after both directions of traffic have stopped. I know it’s frustrating to drivers, but I have no faith in other human beings. I’ve gotten hit once and had about 7 or 8 (I’m losing track) close calls in the last year and a half, where I’ve jumped out of the way or the car has stopped inches away from me. One of these days I’m going to get a license plate number. One time a cop saw the whole thing and pulled him over… Now that was nice.

Of course, that’s physical vulnerability… Emotionally, I tend to be the same way (not trusting other humans), but there’s one special guy for whom I’m putting myself on the line, completely vulnerable, and I don’t care one bit. He’s a special guy. But generally, I’m very careful and I only open up to really special people.

@Adirondackwannabe Yeah, safe and stable is what I lacked as a child and is what I have now. It would probably take a lot of therapy for me to risk those.

@That’s interesting. I had safe and stable up to age 12, then that all went to hell but I learned to value people from it. I learned safe and stable can vanish in a heartbeat, but it’s still worth trying to let someone in.

@Adirondackwannabe I LOVE people and I VALUE people, truly. I just keep them at arm’s length regardless of the relationship between us. No one has said it was hurtful or anything,

I’m not sure I accept the assumptions of the question… if I’m with people I don’t trust, then I don’t let myself be vulnerable in those situations. If I’m with people I trust, then I’m not actually vulnerable, am I?

So… I tend not to feel vulnerable. And I think that’s just fine.

I tend not to notice any moments of vulnerability unless the circumstances dictate that otherwise is a good thing. And that’s hardly ever.

I do around most people. People I am really familiar with I don’t. I just am not that much of an open person.

Not if I’m with people I trust, although I do tend to trust too easily sometimes and get hurt in the process. But getting hurt and bouncing back is just another life lesson, I guess.

For the last 7 years I have felt vulnerable, and I’ve hated it.

Yes. In fact I have to constantly remind myself that I am not invulnerable

Yes. I refuse to be vulnerable around real-life people, as I tend to get my feelings hurt easily. After years of being taken advantage of, I’m now known as a “bitch” to a lot of people, but I’m much happier for it! Keeps the dregs away!

I just put it all out there without thinking how others may react. I can’t be hurt by people I don’t care about it. However, not giving a shit about what other people think took a bit of time.

I trust everyone until they give me a reason not to, so I’m pretty vulnerable all the time. Yes, I’ve been hurt by it, but the connection and closeness it often brings is worth it to me.

^^What she said. It’s in my nature to think that most people are good. I put myself out there and I get hurt a lot, but the few good connections I make are worth it.