Social Question

Shippy's avatar

Do you think that men are more accepting of women's bodies than women are?

Asked by Shippy (9857 points ) February 9th, 2013

Personally for my own experience I have found men less judgmental of my body than women are. But women themselves judge their own bodies so negatively all the time.

What has been your experience of this? Are you your harshest critic followed by girlfriends then men? Or has it been the complete opposite? Or do you even care really as you are OK with what you have?

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22 Answers

DigitalBlue's avatar

I really do think it depends. I don’t think this sort of thing is easily gauged one way or the other. I am very involved in body acceptance things, since I have a body image disorder, and in my personal experience men can be just as critical of female bodies as females can be to other women. And, in the same sense, men can be just as critical of their own bodies, they just don’t tend to be quite as vocal about their insecurities.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

From my experience, women are more judgmental of womens’ bodies. especially their own.
Heterosexual men find delight in the female body in many of its various forms and configurations. That does not mean I don’t know of men with very narrow range of acceptance of womens’ bodies.

Seek's avatar

I think hetero men are in a better place to judge women’s bodies, solely because they’ve probably seen more ‘real’ women naked than the average hetero female. Most women only see other women’s bodies in magazines or movies or porn – and thus that’s all they have to compare their stretchmarks, cellulite, and scars to.

Just yesterday my husband was listening to a radio show that featured a group of guys discussing the ‘fact’ that a woman truly lives her husband if she had a c-section, so she both gives him a child and keeps the ‘vagina of a prom queen.’

Media has unrealistic expectations of women. And there isn’t much of a campaign for improvement in this area. Because of this, women judge themselves against an unrealistic standard. Mostly because we just don’t know the truth – that normal women are everywhere and they are every shade of beautiful.

I am supremely guilty of this myself. I hate mirrors.

JLeslie's avatar

Depends. I think most men are really happy to be with a naked women, like a playground of fun and pleasure and don’t care if there is a few ripples in the sandbox, or the paint isn’t perfect on the merry-go-round. They are fine that some jungle gyms are different sizes in different parks. However, men when asked in surveys do care more about the body than the face when it comes to being attracted to a woman. I think the questionaires don’t account for in a long term relation or not, that sort of thing. The men I know who are very focused on a woman being attractive and good body are mostly divorced and date and marry women who make no sense to me. I have a friend who is very handsome, smart, successful in his career, funny, and he tends to date women 10+ years younger, has actually said to me while in a bar no one there looks good enough to take home because their bodies need to look ok when naked.

Men tend to be visual, which I find a little annoying. And, porn has ruined sex for some people.

Plus, culturally what men and women prefer in body type varies. We are victims of what we see as normal and desirable from our families, community, and through the media. Black women seem to dread having a flat ass, white women worry about flat chests or big thighs, etc.

I also think most men are clueless about who is beautiful. They get duped by make-up, pretty hair, clothes, and shoes. If you just package yourself well almost everyone can look pretty, especially to a man.

Shippy's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr I think there is more work out there been done than we know

Nancy Hayssen I think it’s a topic close to my heart. Since I suffered anorexia for most of my 20’s into my early 30’s. I’ve been skinny, I have been average and I have been larger. Due to meds. I honestly can say men never reacted differently to either of my body shapes. However, there are of course preference for different body shapes.

snapdragon24's avatar

I agree very much with @Seek_Kolinahr…But since Im a guy’s girl I have come across many male friends who are very insecure about how they look and hit the gym like angry hungry wolves. They are more insecure than my female friends, yet they are incredibly good looking. In the end of the day, I think our inner judgment is stronger than our judgment on others…so I try not to be influenced by the media, or what the overly cocky bastard or queen bee has to say about the way I look. No one is perfect.

Angelina Jolie – considered one of the most beautiful women in the world, but I find her lack of food intake highly unattractive.
There is always something.

Blackberry's avatar

Is the sky blue?

Well, it’s actually not blue but you get my point lol.

I’ve been with women of pretty much every shape and size, excluding extremely large and extremely small, but you get the point lol.

gondwanalon's avatar

Women’s bodies are perfect!

deni's avatar

Oh god, absolutely. I think the majority of women are not that happy with their own bodies regardless of how good they actually look. Like others have said the media has done a real number to make women feel terrible about their bodies, but in my experience as well men have always liked my body way more than I like it. Even the things I dislike in particular they seem to like in particular. It is a really amazing thing actually! Also in general I think women are more critical of themselves and other women than men are.

woodcutter's avatar

Picky men tend to be the lonely kind, although you won’t hear them admit it.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

In the words of Dave Barry “Women, you just have to be there” and we’ll find you sexy.

JLeslie's avatar

Gotta love Dave Barry.

rooeytoo's avatar

I think if someone wants to get laid, to use the vernacular, body shape, looks, weight, don’t really matter.

To find a life partner, most people are attracted to certain types. That type may be large, small or somewhere inbetween, the same with looks. Different strokes for different folks.

I think, now this is just my opinion, that this describes men more than women. I have known fat, not overly attractive men, who are very critical and particular of womens’ shapes. One old friend told me “Boys are allowed to be fat, girls aren’t.” He was a particularly stout gentleman, and he was a gentleman, he just had definite tastes and because he was a very nice, funny guy and because women are not as judgemental of men, he had no trouble finding females who met his qualifications and had no problem going out with or being in a relationship with a stout (read pretty damned fat) man.

Paradox25's avatar

I’m a guy, and yes, women are much harder on themselves about how they look from my experience. Not all of us want a 5’11 120lb skeleton, or someone with flashy looks. Women really do this to themselves, and by doing so they’re giving many men an immense amount of power over them.

choreplay's avatar

Yes I do.

rojo's avatar

I think most men are much more accepting. It is in their own self-interest to be so.

mattbrowne's avatar

No. Men need to find women attractive to get aroused. Evolutionary forces at play. There are exceptions, of course. Sex-starved men can get desperate and unconsciously redefine the criteria for attractiveness. But the same applies to women.

Arewethereyet's avatar

I think it shouldn’t matter what men think about our bodies, it’s more important and psychologically healthier to feel good and accpting of your own body. Having said that I think we all fall prey at times (no matter how much we resist) to wanting to live up to the norm/ expectation.

Shippy's avatar

@Arewethereyet Agreed. Pity how many women though, shape and pummel themselves to fit what they think men or other women like. Plus become jealous and bitchy over other womens bodies.

Arewethereyet's avatar

We are the people who buy
Barbie dolls for our girls, right?

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@Arewethereyet Never bought a Barbie for any of my nieces or other girls. Interesting response.Never seen a Ken doll with a beer gut either.

Shippy's avatar

@Arewethereyet Yes that is the problem. But if I had a girl I wouldn’t buy her one. @Adirondackwannabe Yup loll.

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