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ZEPHYRA's avatar

On a macabre note, do you ever think about the fact that a person who dies young never ages?

Asked by ZEPHYRA (15071 points ) February 9th, 2013

The rest of the family and friends get old but that person freezes in time. Were his/her body to be well-preserved, he would remain in his young state as the rest age on. Weird thought, isn’t it?

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18 Answers

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

That is totally wacked. I say as I age there’s one way to cure it, but it’s worse than the alternative. Or as golfers say“I’m on the right side of the dirt”.

JLeslie's avatar

I don’t, but I have heard people say Marylin Monroe and other actors and singers who died young are forever young for us. But, for me, even the actresses who we have seen age to a very old age, when I see them young in their past performances I still appreciate their great beauty. We are all frozen in time in photos and movies, it doesn’t matter if we grow older. I look at my grandma when she was young and amazing, my aunt who was basically a bombshell in my opinion, and she will always have been that. She is still that person for me even though she isn’t that person any more.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

@JLeslie so true. And I always wonder how those elderly people feel when they see themselves in those photos. Especially extremely beautiful women must sink into depression when they see the old snapshots even if they have had a good life. The passage of time is one thing that will never go down well with most people!

SuperMouse's avatar

I do think about this. My mom died in her late 30’s and at this point I have outlived her by nearly 10 years. It is really weird to me to think that my mother never saw this age! I still remember her from the vantage point of a young girl. She seemed so grown up and mature and it is just so odd to think that I am a good deal older now then she ever got to be.

wundayatta's avatar

I don’t think about this. I can’t think why one would. If you don’t live, you don’t age. You’re dead.

But you say that as if not aging while dead is some great philosophical thought. It isn’t. It’s just death. Death is nothing. The person is gone. They remain fixed in your memory as you remember them, at whatever ages you choose to remember them, and you can’t age them. Although I don’t know why you’d want to, unless you were writing a story.

JLeslie's avatar

@ZEPHYRA I think for my grandma she looked back being grateful she did many of things she wanted to do and stayed active and had an exploring mind as long as she could. She was beautiful at every age, just not young anymore, know what I mean? Even in her 80’s she looked great for a woman in her 80’s. She traveled well into her 70’s to exotic places, met people, took classes, learned new things. I think the secret is you just have to keep going, learning, growing, and be happy for the stage of life you are in. Be in the moment. It’s a mistake I think we make in America, pursuing youth, instead of being the age we are. I once heard Bobby Brown say, appreciate how you look now, because in 10 years you will look back at a photo and think, “wow I was so young then.”

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Thank you for the amazing answers so far. It was just a thought racing through my mind and I wanted other people’s opinions on it. Actually, it was probably inspired by a film I’d been watching.

Jeruba's avatar

Sure, and it doesn’t seem like a weird thought to me. I always think of that when an adult dies relatively young. And not just when it’s someone like John Kennedy or Marilyn Monroe. I have outlived my father—that is, I’m older than he was when he died—and I never saw him turn into an old man. I did see my mother become a frail old woman. I’m not saying one is better than the other, just that I’m aware of it.

I have different thoughts about children or very young adults who never got to grow up. They never became who they were going to be. They were frozen unformed.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

@JLeslie your grandma truly was blessed.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

@Jeruba my thoughts exactly. Keeps you wondering.

JLeslie's avatar

@Jeruba I feel the same about young children. You put it perfectly that they never had a chance to become who they were going to be. I find that so incredibly sad. It’s too young. It isn’t the same as being young forever when you are an adult already.

jonsblond's avatar

I follow a Facebook page dedicated to the victims of Sandy Hook Elementary. I see the pictures of those beautiful young children and I think about how difficult it must be for their parents. Their babies will always be babies to them. It’s such a sad thought.

RandomGirl's avatar

A girl who really played an important part in my young life died at 14, in a car crash. It’s hard to believe I’m older than she ever got to be. If she’d lived, she would be 21 now. The world is a harsh place.
In the past few years I’ve caught myself following in her footsteps, being nice to young kids, showing them how to make the world a better place… But then I see that kids are getting attached to me, and I have to ask myself: what if something were to happen to me, would I want these kids to go through what I went through?

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@RandomGirl Faulkner had a great quote on life and loss. I’ve used it twice lately. “If I have to chose between grief and nothing, I will chose grief”. I’d rather have something than have nothing. Stick with the kids.

AshLeigh's avatar

These are the things I think about all the time.
My best friend died in August of 2011. It’s still unreal. He’ll never graduate. He will never get married, or grow a mustache…

filmfann's avatar

I adore Marilyn Monroe, but an advantage of her dying young was that we didn’t see her grow older, and do guest spots on Dynasty.

majorrich's avatar

My father died at 81, but in my mind he reverted back to my memories of when he was my Dad, 40-ish, Still healthy, in his prime. Forever young.

cazzie's avatar

I think of this in just the opposite way. When someone complains about getting old, I tell them that that the alternative is unthinkable. The wise do say, ‘Live Long and Prosper’, and the foolish say ‘Die young and make a beautiful corpse.’

The only thing that comforted me when I lost my mother (aged 75) was that she was no longer in pain and suffering. She had a long battle with cancer. The fact that she looked peaceful and imaculate at her open-casket funeral was much more painful. She didn’t look sick or in pain anymore and I wanted her back. Does that make any sense? I now have dreams of her being alive again and in the dream we know she died, but for some reason it was some sort of ‘mistake’ and she was OK now, and I know it is because of how she looked to me, lying in her coffin. I guess I am just a sick individual.

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