Social Question

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

How many jellies never told their parents they hated them and why?

Asked by Adirondackwannabe (33357 points ) February 12th, 2013

This came into my mind as I was reading an answer to the parenting question. My father and I got along great and never fought. My mother always relied on me for advice and support. I never said I hate you once. I don’t know why, but how common or uncommon is that? What are your thoughts?

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24 Answers

CWOTUS's avatar

I grew out of it before I was deep into my teens, but I recall some unfortunate interchanges when I was maybe 10 – 12 years old.

As for “why”, it was stupid, juvenile stuff. I can’t even recall. Maybe they sent me to bed one night before I got to watch The Outer Limits or something.

josie's avatar

I not only never said it, the thought never entered my mind.
My mom was always patient with me even though I horrified her during my adolescence, and even though I was a constant source of worry to her.
My dad was my hero. He taught me how to survive in a competitive and occasionally dangerous world. He was, as far as I could tell, fearless and nearly invincible, and he took no shit, but he was never aggressive or obnoxious.
I miss both of them. They died too soon.
Nothing to hate there. No reason to say it.

glacial's avatar

I never said “I hate you” to either of my parents. I remember being angry at them, but that particular phrase was on the list of things not to be uttered, as if there were a silent contract about what things were acceptable or not acceptable to say.

My sister’s children, who were very close to me in age, would say this to their parents routinely, and I could not understand how they could do it, or how my sister could have created a household in which saying those words was conceivable to her children. To be honest, I still don’t know the answer to that.

Mariah's avatar

Never said it, never wanted to. My parents and I were super close through my teen years.

I developed a tiny bit of bratty teen at about 13 that could possibly have grown into something worse if it hadn’t been for my big sister. She and our parents didn’t get along at all during her teen years. I observed and thought “I don’t want that.” I kept that teen anger in check. Pretty soon it went away.

livelaughlove21's avatar

Hm, not that I recall, but I remember thinking it during my teen years. Reasons? Just being a little brat.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

I’m approaching 60 and feel lucky to still have both my parents. I never felt as if I hated them, at least not so far.

DominicX's avatar

I’ve never said it, as far as I can recall. Doesn’t mean I didn’t have arguments with my parents, though. My usual response was to slam a door, though…

AshLeigh's avatar

I have never told my mother that I hate her. I never wanted to.
I told my father that I hated him after he kicked me out, killed my dog, and hit my brother. I feel like all of that added up to a fair reason to hate someone.

cookieman's avatar

I never told them I hated them, because I never did. My mother is a controlling, volatile, manipulative, liar – and I never hated her.

Earthgirl's avatar

I never dreamed of saying such a thing to my parents. They didn’t deserve it. They were very square and very strict but as much as I may have resented it I never doubted that they loved me and that it all came from their view of what was best for me. I knew that some day I would be on my own, living as I wished, supporting myself. Until then, I was grateful for their love, protection and support.

Pachy's avatar

Quite the opposite. I regret not telling my parents more often how much I loved them, and how grateful I am for all they did for me.

Coloma's avatar

I never said I hated them but I did call my aunt a bitch once. haha
She was being extremely fussy about some work I was doing for her when I was 16, very nitpicky and anal.
I hate all OCD anal types so it really wasn’t personal.
Jesus, never pair up creative, fun loving personalities with anal control freaks, dear effing god!

Sunny2's avatar

Never said it. Never thought it. Never doubted their decisions, or if I did, I managed to work around them. They were the best parents they could be even if, when I had kids of my own, I found fault with some things they did or didn’t do. They did what they thought was right.

jonsblond's avatar

I did say it a few times when I was young and living with my parents. I grew up with my mom constantly yelling at my dad and slamming doors. Looking back now, I’m sure that’s how I learned how to handle my anger at the time. I feel terrible about it now, but they understand and forgive me.

I can say my children have never said it to me. They are 9, 18 and 20. My 9 year old still has several years under our roof, so it may happen. If it does, I’ll have to remind myself how forgiving my parents were with me.

Kardamom's avatar

That would be the day I would have to commit suicide. My parent’s would never deserve my hatred.

Unbroken's avatar

I don’t think I said it. I can’t really remember. I do recall deciding to say it would implied I cared about them.

But I have a vague impression I did say it once. I can’t remember if I said it to one or both. I can’t remember what happened. I blocked a lot of crap from back then.

bookish1's avatar

Not to their face. And I knew they would hate me if they found out certain things about me. Some people should not try to be parents, but I am glad to be alive nevertheless.

rojo's avatar

I never told my parents I hated them. I guess because I never did. I got into a fight with my dad but knew that it was my fault, I shouldn’t have called them to bail me out so always considered it my bad.

rojo's avatar

Actually, I think this is an odd question “Why did you never tell your parents you hated them”? Are you supposed to hate your parents? Are you somehow damaged if you did not? Too many negatives here.

Bellatrix's avatar

I had disagreements with my parents but I never told them I hate them. I can’t say I ‘liked’ my stepmother but I adored my dad so even when I disagreed with him, I never hated him. Not for a second.

whitenoise's avatar

I never did.. neither hating them, nor telling them.

In general I really dislike my father, but hate is an emotion I don’t like to foster.

Symbeline's avatar

My mom was abusive, but I never thought, or figured, that I hated her at the time. Mostly I was just dead scared of her, and answered to her when she spoke in ways you might answer to a very strict teacher when you don’t know the answer; hope that’s what they wanted to hear, lol. I might have said I hated her when I got older, but she disappeared from my life, and that’s good enough for me. She did try to contact me a bit after, but she gave up quickly enough, and I never tried to contact her.

I would have never said that to my dad, but my did kicked ass. Once though I was really angry at him and yelled ’‘fuck you’’ right in his face. That’s the first and last time I ever did that. He was pissed, however he was reasonable, we talked shit over after, and he made me understand things, instead of batting me upside the head, like my mom did. But really, she deserved the fuck you, not my dad. So I guess saying you wouldn’t say ’‘I hate you’’ to a parent but you said fuck you to them really isn’t any better, but when I lived with him he had to suffer through some of that pent up rage I had since he was the polar opposite of my mom. He understood that though. Hell he even took me shopping the day after that incident haha.

tups's avatar

Never said it. They’ve done a lot of things for me, I could never say that. They’ve always tried their best and that’s what matters. I don’t say love or hate very much unless I really mean it. I’ve said it to my brother several times in anger, but I’ve always apologized afterwards.

burntbonez's avatar

I never said it, but I have wanted to so badly. My father left a “small” post-death surprise for me and my Mom. I never showed my mother. I burned the letters. But I can not tell you how furious I was at him, and if I had found out when he was alive, I probably would have done an Oedipus. Even today, it makes me furious. I don’t know why. It’s all water under the bridge, now.

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