Social Question

zensky's avatar

I had a great time with a friend last night. It was all about just being together and in the moment. Do you have a friend story?

Asked by zensky (13280 points ) February 20th, 2013

I don’t have many friends – and as I get older I require fewer. I use the term require because I believe no man is an island – and we do need friendships and loves. But I do not need many, nor do I exert myself too much to keep those who seem fragile or weary me.

But I have a few – and they are good.

A little more conversation, some music, some coffee.

It’s about the being together and damn the torpedoes.

Vous?

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11 Answers

Unbroken's avatar

I used to have a lot of “friends” then I raised my standards.

Now I have a few.

I can go periods of time without them I also can overdose on most of their companionship.
The wax and wane cycle but no matter how edgy we leave each other after reuniting it is just like picking up where we left off. No explanation or apology or examination just acceptance.

It takes so little to fill the empty spaces. Create a warm feeling and deepening bond. A day texting might do, or an extended phone conversation an email for those people out of reach. But nothing quite surpasses the atmospheric joy of reading and experiencing new moments together face to face. Simple is fine. But it is nice to break it up a bit with an adventure.

Solaces in the storm and exponential joy in the good times!

Definitely quality over quantity.

JLeslie's avatar

I talked to one of my closest girlfriend’s tonight for almost two hours. Love her so much. So funny, she gets me, we can be totaly silly together, and also can discuss serious subjects. I called her because my stress level was so high and she took my mind off of things.

I have a few friends like this, when we are together there is a great feeling, I wish we lived close to each other. My fantasy is to all live in the same condo building when we retire and be able to just walk down the hall and hang out. Just like dorm life in college.

I also have a group of friends where I live know, I see them about once a month for dinner or at an event. Really nice people, we have fun. But, I would not confide in them like I do my close girlfriends mentioned above.

augustlan's avatar

I dropped in on my best friend today, and we had a nice chat. We don’t see each other often, but we always laugh a lot when we manage to get together.

Haleth's avatar

There was a rare nice day this winter, so I dropped in on a friend and we drank some cheap sparkling wine at her apartment. I drove us along the waterfront and to the Smithsonian, and we (tipsily- sorry!) spent an afternoon admiring the artwork. Also, I successfully parallel parked my land yacht in the city with her help, which was a big milestone for me, lol.

Later, we drove down to this calm, serene spot by the river as the sun was setting, and we talked about our goals and hopes for the future. Life has been pretty tough for both of us recently- too much work, not enough money, deaths of loved ones, so many responsibilities and not enough fun. She said (tipsily) that all the stuff we’re working toward is just around the corner—which is just what I was thinking. We don’t always have everything in common, but we are kind of in the same boat. Then, we ran around flying a kite. So all in all, it was a good day.

augustlan's avatar

@Haleth Have you ever been to Roosevelt Island? It’s so peaceful there.

Haleth's avatar

@augustlan Not in a while, but yeah, it’s great there! We were a bit downriver from there.

I always complain about DC and how boring it is, but there are actually some really beautiful places here.

Pachy's avatar

Like you, @zensky, I have (and make) fewer friends the older and more reclusive I become. I’m just not much of a socializer anymore. My oldest friends are still my closest (one of them I went to kindergarden with), and it’s always good to spend time with them, as well as with newer friends.

Coloma's avatar

I too have thinned the herd of friends over the last decade. Several long term relationships that became toxic. One was highly emotionally fragile and sensitive, jealous, petty, and high maintenance. The other was manipulative and passive aggressive, both had to go.

I too, at 53 now, have little need or desire to make new friends. I have several old friends I communicate with and my 25 year old daughter is my best friend. We share common interests, engaging personality styles and while we are, obviously, our own individual people, she is my best intellectual buddy.
We were on the phone for an hour last night, running the gauntlet on a myriad of topics and I am picking her up later today for some running around together.

It may sound arrogant, but I have a hard time finding interesting and funny people to commune with. If I don’t find somebody funny and interesting and mentally stimulating with diverse interests and able to engage in conversations above and beyond their daily humdrum routines, I’d rather keep to myself.
A lot of women are so mired in only talking about their relationship stuff and bitching about their husbands, boyfriends and adult kids…gah….I do not CARE! lol

Argonon's avatar

I have one close friend I like to hang out with from time to time.
She’s very religious and although I’m an atheist I still like to join in on church activities and bible study with her. It’s hard for me to stay awake with those sorts of activities but she’s always happy that I give it a chance. Occasionally we like to hang out and watch movies and what not, but it’s hard to pick a movie we’ll both enjoy..
We’re very different but we still manage to get along quite well, she’s a very kind and open minded person.

I’ve never had many friends. I’m rather solitary, but it’s nice to have a few close friends to chill with occasionally.

wundayatta's avatar

I never see my friends in person, any more. They all live around the country, and anyway, we don’t talk. I do have virtual friends, but we don’t see each other, either. We talk, occasionally, and those talks are very crucial for me.

All conversations are political, but those have less restrictions than the rest.

Adagio's avatar

I prefer handful of close friends as opposed to a whole raft of “friends”. Those I enjoy spending time with most I do not see often, do not need to see often, sometimes years pass between meetings, we just pick up where we left off, it doesn’t matter that it was 3 months or 3 years since we last spent time together, the intervening time just melts away, is of no consequence. I especially enjoy spending time with those who have known me since my twenties, the most formative period in my life, those who knew me when I walked and chopped wood and cooked on a wood range and had a wonderful vegetable garden and swum naked in rivers and the sea and kept poultry and bathed outside in an old cast-iron bath and and and……… I had a surprise visit from some such friends last week, they now live in Australia, hadn’t seen them for at least 2 years, just what I needed, laughter, memories, a little catching up of where we are all at presently, comfortable, easy, one of life’s treasures.

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