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cate12345's avatar

He kissed me and has now apologized. Now I'm confused!

Asked by cate12345 (6 points ) February 26th, 2013

I’ve been working at this place for about 6 months now. About 4 months ago, I noticed this guy at work and he would smile at me as he passed by. I’d smile back and this went on til about 2 months ago when he came over and introduced himself. Now, I only work weekends at this place, so it became a kind of Friday night thing, we’d meet up and chat a bit, and over the last month, things were getting to the point that I thought he was going to ask me out. Which is fine, cause I wouldn’t mind that. Now comes the problem.

Last Friday night, we went for something to drink at the local coffee shop and ended up in his vehicle talking. After about 15 minutes, he stopped talking and went for a kiss. I was okay with that until I felt his tongue in my mouth. I guess I tensed up, cause I’m not used to that, and he said something along the lines of I wasn’t putting much effort into the kissing. Plus the fact that we haven’t even been on a real date and he had his tongue in my mouth? I just think he rushed things a little much. Long story short, I had to go back to work, he was finished for the night and I have no way of contacting him outside of work. I kind of rushed back into work, thinking I wouldn’t see him til the next Friday.

Sunday night I unexpectedly worked and seen him in there. He apologized for kissing me, that he thought I was uncomfortable with it and blamed it on his hormones and that he was too aggressive. I didn’t want to talk too much where we were standing, as there were co-workers near by and I really don’t want to broadcast the fact that we were kissing. I kind of told him things would be okay and we would talk next week cause I was finished with my shift and he was just starting his. As I was leaving, I felt bad that I rushed things. I left a note on his car with my cell #‘s and said if he wanted to talk to phone. I just wanted to explain to him that it wasn’t the kissing that bothered me so much, it was the style of kissing(the tongue) that made me uncomfortable. He hasn’t phoned and now I feel stupid for having left my #‘s. I now feel like maybe I should avoid him all together on Friday night and just let things lie. So that’s my question. Should I avoid him? Should I tell him why I was uncomfortable? Does he even want to really know, considering he hasn’t phoned? I’m a mess, I don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to just avoid him, the other wants to let him know that I would kiss him again. All around, I just feel stupid. Any advice on the direction I should take would be appreciated.

Cate

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7 Answers

Pachy's avatar

You have nothing to feel stupid about. You reacted as you should have and handled the situation very maturely. My suggestion is, do nothing. Don’t ignore him, but don’t encourage him. If he likes you and is a mensch, he’ll approach you again but at a slower speed.

burntbonez's avatar

It’s too bad you don’t have a chance to communicate with him. And it’s too bad you can’t call him and you have to wait for him to call. It would be best if you could take charge.

I think you should talk to him on Friday. Clear things up, if only for your own sake. Tell him everything you told us. You like him. You wanted to kiss him. You weren’t ready for tongue. If he wants to go slowly, you would be willing to hang out with him more, but you want it to be a real date.

Da_Pheonix's avatar

Just ignore him because you’ve done the best thing I would. Expect any decent girl to do so jus go about your business and next time don’t get caught off guard

marinelife's avatar

Just let it go and concentrate on work at work. If he wants your number or to ask you out. he can. If all he wants was a quickie at work, you have let him know where you stand.

dabbler's avatar

It was kind of him to apologize, especially in a way that seems to say he likes you. And you seem to like him a lot too actually. So if you both keep that up, you could get to the day that kissing deeply is what you do.
When you get to know him even a little better, you might feel comfortable to tell him you’re not sorry he kissed you and take it from there.
Or not. But I think that your evident mutual regard for each other and respect budding out all over the place, it’s a good start.

JoeyOhSoClever's avatar

Aww! I usually make the first move but I always wait for the girl to make the second in first time situations. We all have different ways of thinking some move fast some move slow. That shouldn’t stop you from speaking to him. Maybe you should confront him and start by asking if he got your number because you sort of wanted to explain how you were feeling. Then lead into how you enjoyed the kiss but the tongue was a little too much lol. Listen to his explanation than go off how you feel after that! :)

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