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coffeenut's avatar

How would you react to this situation?

Asked by coffeenut (6156 points ) February 26th, 2013

I just had the weirdest experience I think I’ve ever had!! (sorry it’s a little long)

So I sold some movies online and agreed to meet the woman at a local coffee shop to sell. I arrived a little early got a coffee and sat near a window and started playing with my phone wile I waited.

Out of the blue a guy walks over and starts talking to me…
Him: Have I seen you before?
Me: I doubt it.

I expected it to end there I get that alot for some reason Then he keeps going telling me a bunch of things that I responded to with “ok”

Then tells me he came over to talk…
Me: why?
Him: because I was sitting there alone….

During this whole conversation every warning system in my body was screaming.

Was he trying to be nice? Was he hitting on me?
I have been hit on by guys and girls before though it was different
I don’t know what to make of this…. Any ideas?

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15 Answers

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Just another one of your experiences, just this time perhaps a slightly smoother talker!

JoeyOhSoClever's avatar

Maybe he just needed someone to talk to. Some people simply get to the point of loneliness where they will jump at a chance for any type of communication. The fact you speak about the conversation being weird, the guy may not have good communication skills him walking up to you may have been the most spontaneous conversation he’s ever had as well. Was he older or younger than you?

bookish1's avatar

Dude, it happens to me all the time. I often go hang out on my own in bars and cafes, and I am a good listener, so I attract all sorts of people who want to tell me their life stories.
If someone is setting off your creep alarm, though, you are well within your rights to tell him to GTFO, or leave yourself.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I rely on my instincts a lot. If your’s were screaming trust them. But don’t leave the place if there are people around. He could follow you out.

flo's avatar

From the description it sounds common enough, nothing to worry about. What are the bunch of things he told you? “Then he keeps going telling me a bunch of things that I responded to with “ok””

coffeenut's avatar

@JoeyOhSoClever I seriously doubt that in a coffee shop with quite a few people he would come to me first, I give alot of people pause when I’m in my work clothes/persona. I think he was younger than me.

@bookish1 It happens to me all the time too, though mainly in my street clothes, rarely in my work clothes.

@Adirondackwannabe I wasn’t concerned about him following me, After I cut him off and told him to have a good night he left.

@flo I don’t really remember, he was trying to start a conversation and saying ok is usually a conversation ender and I was trying to think of a nice way to tell him to F off.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@coffeenut Okay. What are your work clothes by the way?

JoeyOhSoClever's avatar

@coffeenut I figured if I was in the same situation I would’ve asked the same question “why me,” maybe something about you reminded him about the memory of someone else. Honestly there could be so many reasons why he went up to you. I’m stumped lol

wundayatta's avatar

Either he is a little off, socially speaking, and doesn’t have the boundaries most of us have, or he was hitting on you. Or maybe both.

If your alarm bells were ringing, it was because he didn’t follow the normal cues of conversation. He wasn’t acting the way you expected. But it does not sound, at least from your explanation so far, like he was dangerous.

trailsillustrated's avatar

That was the weirdest experience you’ve ever had????

geeky_mama's avatar

@coffeenut – I don’t know if you’re male or female..but maybe you’re like me. I’m apparently like a human puppy dog. I look approachable and pleasant (even when I’m not always either). People come up and start conversations with me all the time. When I think I’m sending “leave me alone vibes”. It kind of reminds me of people who don’t like cats or dogs and they walk into a home where there are pets and the animals start acting really friendly to them. They don’t like animals yet the animals want to rub all over them.

A couple memorable examples: the total stranger who walked up to me in a public restroom and started telling me all about her incontinence issues. (Really)
The woman who, instead of asking the gate agent standing 10 steps away, starts asking me when we’re going to board the plane, do I think her carry-on will fit, blah blah blah.
Happens to me all too frequently.

So..if this starts to be a pattern..my condolences. It happens to me a lot and I haven’t figured a way out (other than to be totally rude, which just isn’t my style) of being approached by strangers who suddenly need to tell me their life story, the secret that’s on their chest or all about this thing that’s annoying them. Maybe start jotting these encounters down and publish them in a book. :)

Unbroken's avatar

It seems normal except for the fact that your alarm system was going off. Not knowing more it would be hard to say why this was. But if you see him again and he tries approaching again I would tell him quite clearly to leave you alone.

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coffeenut's avatar

@trailsillustrated, @rosehips I get approached by random people for various reasons on a very regular basis, no problem… even when some people insist that the know me. The last time my body went on high alert like this was when I was in the military and we were under heavy fire…. Though at no time did this guy look, say or do anything that seemed dangerous…

longgone's avatar

@coffeenut, that does sound weird – especially if you aren’t usually spooked easily. Maybe you’ve been stressed lately? Another thing that came to mind: No idea whether it’s true – but I heard most people’s alarm systems go off when they’re in the presence of a psychopath. Instinctive anxiety due to subconsciously picking up on alarm signs… I’ve tried to google it, but couldn’t find any trustworthy sources. A very emotional topic, it seems – which is ironic, in a way. Maybe someone on fluther knows more about it?

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