How to handle bigots as a canvasser?

Put your focus back onto the people who are supporting. The mind can play tricks on a person. Ten supportive people seem to vanish when one says a nasty remark. Or have some facts ready to defend gay rights. And in a kind way state those facts to the bigot. A little of your job is to educate people if you can. But the main part is sourcing support so keep that in the front of your mind.

Firstly, don’t let those few bigots stop you doing the valuable work you’re doing. Well done on being so proactive and willing to actually do something to cause change. There will always be bigots. You can’t do anything about that. I think @Shippy is spot on in reminding you that people (and I know I’m guilty of this) tend to hone in on the negative comments or feedback we receive and forget about the majority positive feedback. Perhaps you can try to keep that in mind. For every arsehole you come across, there will be many more caring, decent people. Focus in on them. And once again, well done you. Young people like you are going to make the future a lot brighter.

You will get used to it after a while, the best thing to do is just ignore them. If a person has a belief to such an extent that they will make open comments in public, then they believe it too much for you to spot-convert them.

The main problem here, is that you are gay too, or at least that is what I am assuming from “queer chick”, so it is even more personal to you.

I have done stand up comedy a few times, with jokes and material I came up with. When I used to get a heckle or bad reaction, it used to sting, because it was my own material they did not like, and that makes it personal.

On the other hand, when I was working on stage in a hotel, just reading off a script someone else had made, if anyone yelled out “this shit is boring” I could just joke it off and tell them they get what they pay for, and not really care, because they were bored at someone else material.

If you just focus on the positive feedback you get, and ignore these people, eventually you will get used to it, and it will stop bothering you as much.

After a while, you will eventually learn how to stereotype and judge people by looking at them, and it will help you pick out who is more likely to help you. No one likes a stereotype, but there is some truth to some of them, and the 55 year old hairy construction worker actually really is less likely to be helpful, than the 22 year old guy with the hair gel in the V neck shirt.

Personally, I would have called out to the guy who told you to to die of aids and told him to hold up for a moment. Then I would ask him if he “hates fucking faggots”, then I would tell them him that because of the bad economy, I am forced to take this job working for the horrible gays, and explain to him, that I work on comission. I would then tell him, if he signs my petition, the faggots have to pay me, and that it will hurt them cause they will be out of pocket, and plus, they wont ever win, because there are too many people like us who don’t like the gays, and just get him to sign.

However, as I said, it is probably best you just ignore them, it would not be a surprise if one of them got violent.

Welcome to Fluther, @rory Great question. You don’t want to provoke a confrontation that spins out of control. Nothing to be gained by that. What @poisonedantidote suggests is the fun way to deal with it if you are up to that level of winding stupid people up and watching them walk around like little mindless robots. But if not, the best strategy is to just say ,“OK. Thanks for your opinion.” And move on the the next person who might be more supportive.

Mean people suck. Their lives must be awfully small and rather miserable, so see if you can sort of pity them. You are, by far, the better person! Welcome to Fluther, and congrats on the good work you are doing.

Welcome to Fluther.

The kind of activity that you’re involved in (sorry, but I can’t call it “work”) is bound to attract those kinds of people. And they’re going to appear to you out of all proportion to their presence in the general population. That is, you’re setting yourself up as a lightning rod, and lightning will seek you out.

It takes a special kind of thick skin for a person to put up with that and not be affected. (It’s probably a good thing that you don’t have that thick skin; those people are very often “off” in other ways that makes them hard to be around and hard to form close emotional attachments.)

So my suggestion is that you find something different to do. There’s no reason you have to give up supporting or promoting the cause that you believe in – and you shouldn’t – but you definitely should stop being a lightning rod.

I canvassed for five years. For most of that time I was going door to door in suburban communities around New York City. I also spent some time canvassing in NYC apartment buildings.

I would hope that your trainers gave you some tips about rejection, since this is the first thing any canvasser has to learn to deal with. You need to understand that most places you will go, about a third of the people will automatically support you; a third will be totally against you, and a third will be persuadable.

At the beginning, I was canvassing on the equal rights amendment, which was designed to guarantee women equal rights under our constitution. It didn’t pass, but we gave it a good try. I moved on to many other issues after that.

The numbers I gave you above are approximate. I would say maybe one fifth of people automatically support gay rights and perhaps two fifths are against them, but I haven’t looked up the numbers, and it will be different in your area, anyway.

The point is, that you should not take rejection personally. People are not rejecting you. They are rejecting the issue. They may take it out on you, personally, but they don’t know you. If they are getting angry at you personally, they are just rude.

We were going into people’s houses. I was screamed at, threatened and had the cops called on me numerous times. I have been taken down to the cop shop. We were trained not to argue with cops. Just go down, and if necessary, they’d get a lawyer for us. It never turned out to be necessary, and it shouldn’t be a problem for you on street corners. It’s different when you are in a building and haven’t been invited.

Anyway, I trained my canvassers to think of themselves as ducks with a special kind of anti-insult oil in their feathers. When someone insults you, you let it roll right off your feathers and onto the street. You don’t even think about it. You move on to the next person.

Your job is to identify supporters and people who can be persuaded. Your job is not to argue with anyone. You are not even to spend much time trying to persuade people. If you can’t do it in two minutes, it isn’t worth your time.

Now sometimes I would spend five or ten minutes with a supporter just for laughs and to make myself feel better. Often I could get a much bigger check that way. So learn to identify supporters and haters fast. Dump the haters in two seconds. Spend time with supporters. Make them feel good about it. Get them to write a big check, or however you take money these days (credit cards weren’t so big when I was canvassing).

When you get good at this, you will not only know how to never be a lightning rod (unless you want to be), but also how to talk to people and sell people on anything. Of course, you will only sell people for good causes.

I’m not sure why my friend @CWOTUS thinks this isn’t work. I supported myself for five years of my life as a canvasser. I learned an awful lot about sales and training and leadership in the process. Many, many canvassers go on to hold positions in government or become elected public officials. I know of at least on congresswoman who I used to work for and whose house I stayed in while canvassing for her husband’s organization. There’s actually a career path here.

Learning to talk to people and to assess people and to calm people down are all great skills.

But the key is to not take this personally. When someone yells at you, you get that bad feeling in your chest and stomach. You feel bad. The key is to take a few deep breaths. Or do something else to calm yourself. Remind yourself there are plenty of supporters out there. Then approach the next person with confidence showing on your face. They need to feel you are glad to see them, but not in a fake way. It’s got to be real happiness. Then you introduce yourself and your issue.

By the way, I think the “do you have a few minutes to save a life” style of opening sucks. I was trained to use it, too. “Hi, I’m Wundayatta and I’m here for the Equal Rights Amendment. You know, equal pay for equal work for women?” Maybe there’s a way to soften it a little. People don’t want to stop, and you have to get them to take a few minutes. You have to play on their guilt a little, but not too much. Maybe even acknowledging they are busy, but saying it will just take a few minutes and they can really help make gay rights a reality in this country.

I always trained people to write their own lines. These days they seem to train folks to all use the same lines. I’m not in favor of that, but maybe things are different. Anyway, good luck. Here’s a check.

Well, you could say sweetly, “The same to you sir (or madam).”
Or “And God bless you, too.” (You may be thinking, “Up yours!”
Don’t let them see they bother you. You know what you are doing and it’s a good cause. Have faith in yourself. Just keep up the good work.
You are making a difference

Welcome, and I hope you realize not everyone feels that way, so keep that in front of mind please.

All you really have to say in reply is “This is my job, but thank you for your input.”

Being alone in the public is not the place to make a statement that puts you in harms way.

I would recommend actually trying to understand their position, learn. Opinions can be chosen and founded on anything or nothing, and though I can’t sympathize with their emotional intolerance, I have learned their perspective to such a degree that I could speak on it.

It sounds like you feel as strongly as they do, so you can relate to the emotional ties to the topic, I am guessing.

It seems a lot of people use the term bigot for anyone who emotionally supports an opposing view and refuses to engage in discourse on the topic. Considering a definition of the term:

bigoted |ˈbigətid|
adjective
having or revealing an obstinate belief in the superiority of one’s own opinions and a prejudiced intolerance of the opinions of others
(pulled from my mac’s dictionary)

Sounds like almost every person I have ever met.

What happens if he is right? What if you’re wrong? And if you reply with absolute conviction that your opinion is right, how are you not dawning the bigot’s cloak? If you admit you don’t know, then it may behove you to learn his opinion, seeing as it may be right (and I use that word loosely here).

From a watcher’s standpoint, both of you have a strongly held opinion or belief, and neither of you tries to learn the other’s, yet one of you thinks the other is a bigot for doing so.

So here I read a thread full of support for your view, and on some other site I could likely find the blog of the other person’s view with support for theirs. I find confidence in the fact that I could speak on either forum with some degree of understanding of both accounts. It sounds like you could do with some of that confidence.

So I recommend you try to fully understand those that would choose contrary to you, and thereby increase your confidence.

I have yet to be called a bigot, and I certainly don’t think my opinions superior to another’s which is an absurd notion to me in any case. Personally, I try to avoid judgements altogether, and would not judge gays as deserving or not deserving of the equal rights you are canvassing for. I would however start by questioning what liberties or freedoms non-gays have that gays do not have.

Some food for thought: Those who claim that people should be more open minded, sound a bit close minded on the topic.

In the case you used as an example, I would likely laugh in response, and ask the person why they wished me death by AIDS versus some other method, and then assure them that if I could not fulfill their desire shortly or by their chosen means, I would at least do them the honor of dying someday by some means.

I also think it’s easier to approach people, and you might be better received, if you approached as sincerely curious of their views on the matter, instead of trying to convince them of yours or support yours. The latter almost always fails for many reasons I could explain, but don’t have the time. But most people have no problem teaching someone their views on a topic, especially when the questioner seems sincere in understanding them. Then simply conclude with solicitation from those that may support your cause, and thank those that most likely will not with a, “Thank you for your time and explanations, I appreciate them.” In the case where you aren’t certain whether they would support or not, summon your courage and simply ask, “Would you be willing to support our cause today?”

To get you started, most bigots respond harshly to those that approach soliciting support for something they feel strongly against, because they have been trying to help those in the opposing group understand for some time, and none of them ever listen. If you want an example, let me know… condoms or food to Africa would easily serve for an explanation.

Can you argue the bigot’s side of the issue? Can he argue yours? Because if he can argue yours, and you can’t argue his, he has the broader perspective, and vice versa. And the broader perspective yields more substantiated decisions.

Just my surface thoughts…