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Snickerdoolde213's avatar

Venting my feelings!

Asked by Snickerdoolde213 (16 points ) 2 months ago from iPhone

Ok this is gonna make me sound bad regardless of how I say it… But I just recently got divorced last year. To an army man.. And since I left him I haven’t heard from and of my friends, who were other wives.. Spouses etc. so I’ve become very uptight about who I become friends with but it has made me hate military wives in general cause of it! I truly thought they were my friends. But I’ve realized that j was just someone for them to gossip about while I was married to my ex. And it’s not just that! My first marriage wasn’t great at all. He n I got along in front of people but when it was just us we didn’t speak. We would go to parties and look like the perfect couple n then go home n that was it! He’d get trashed /drunk and come home n force me to have intercourse with him, even when I didn’t want to he’d hold me down and do it. So I started to hate him for it. NATURALLY right?? Then I found out he was cheating on me with his ex before me and I freaked out on him. But in turn came back at me for prying into his business. So when he deployed I TRYED to be good little wifey, kept the house clean bills paid and was still at his every beck n call.. Then about 5 months after he deployed I found out he took his r&r to see her all the while I was freaking out thinking something had happened to him. Then a month later he calls n tells me he got her pregnant!!!!!! So I left him! And all his buddies thought he was the shit! when he screwed me over. wasted three years of my life. AND now I resent military in general! But I do respect them for what they do and I give a high five for what they’ve done for our country but to me…... They’re all pieces of shit. I’ve never met a group of people so stuck on themselves!!! Am I wrong for having such resentment?

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4 Answers

janbb's avatar

I suspect you need more help than we can give you sorting this emotional mess out.

CWOTUS's avatar

Welcome to Fluther.

I don’t see how @janbb can be so noncommittal on the topic: You need far more help than we can offer on resolving your issues, but if you want your specific feelings validated regarding specific individuals who have hurt you, we could probably offer that.

For example, according to your account, your husband clearly raped you. That’s not only a vicious and violent thing to do to another human, but it’s a crime, of course. So that was a real wrong that was done to you.

Aside from that he was a more or less permanent adulterer. So, yeah, your feelings of resentment toward him are certainly justified.

But that won’t help you to get healthy again, so don’t stop there. Find a professional counselor and get to work on your issues so that you can recover your own emotional stability, which you will need so that you can attempt to complete your high school education.

Good luck.

Snickerdoolde213's avatar

I’m in college already! But thanks for the advice I am speaking with my priest who has helped me emencly I used to be real emotional about it all.

KNOWITALL's avatar

No, although I have a lot of respect for our military for what they do, I also have seen the flip side. A lot of them live in the ‘now’ and don’t care about repercussions, and a lot seem to turn to alchol since it’s legal, so your story is nothing new to me.

Forget the other women & just go be happy and move on. Who needs all the drama.

My cousin was with an Air Force guy who was a total flirt and he ended up cheating on her repeatedly, blamed it on her being fat (she was pregnant twice with his babies then) and they got divorced and he got almost full custody because of his family’s position and his position in the military.

Just remember not all of them are bad men so don’t let yourself get bitter. Be happy, you’re FREEEEEEE!

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