(NSFW) am I a wierdo?,Am I a creep ?

One night I decided to watch some porn and masturbate before bed . I watched a few vids and was ready to finish and I clicked on the last video I was going to watch and the pornstar looked like my mom.

The pornstar was giving oral but she looked too much like my mom so I fast forward to where here back is to the camera and riding the male pornstar.

This reminded me of when I was a kid and how my mom and her boyfriend use to lock themselves in their room ,and thats probably what they did and this was what i was remembering in my head as i was masturbating . I imagined the pornstars in the room my mom and her bf use to Lock them selves in ,and it aroused me but this is what’s weird , I think I mastorbated and finished ,but to me I feel that I was under the idea that , that was my mom and her boyfriend, now I feel like a creep.

I didn’t sit down and start watching porn to fantacize about my mom and her bf ,but that’s what I feel happened , I also remember loosing a bit of my erection because of this and I tried finishing to the pornstar because the idea of my mom and her bf is kinda wierd , but it was like 3 weeks ago and I can’t remember clearly what I did. I feel so ashamed , i am depressed and suicidal cause of this mistake , I feel like a creep but i don’t know , can someone give me some insight .