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chelle21689's avatar

When is it appropriate to ask time off when you just got a job?

Asked by chelle21689 (4961 points ) April 22nd, 2013 from iPhone

I’ve been a bit worried about this. Back story…I was supposed to get my wisdom teeth out today but because my teeth are horizontally impacted I need a specialist and also I found out I need a root canal. Sooo my teeth is having all sorts of issues all at once and severe pain. Now I have to find an oral surgeon and endodontist…..crazy busy.

This job called me for an interview while I was at the doctors and I told them I had to call back. So I did, and they wanted to schedule an interview. I told them my situation and they were very concerned about my health/healing and training because they want someone ASAP.

I told them I could hold off on my wisdom teeth if it costed me the position. But my sister said my health comes first.

Also, my best friend is getting married and I am in the wedding which requires two days (Her Cambodian wedding which includes religious ceremony and then an American celebration/reception next day). This will be May 31-June 1

I’m afraid it’ll look bad asking for all this time off if I get it.

The job is still going to do a phone interview with me as the step in the hiring process.

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10 Answers

glacial's avatar

They already know that you need to get your wisdom teeth done… and you have to get them done, so there’s no point pretending that you’re not going to do it. Tell them exactly how long you’ll need off for that purpose, and ask if there is an ideal time during which you should do it.

I wouldn’t even think of asking for time off to participate in a wedding when you just start the job. I think you’re going to have to choose the job or the time off. You can’t have everything.

CWOTUS's avatar

You were up front at the interview about your dental health issue, which is more forthright than many applicants would be. It’s completely appropriate to expect sufficient time for the required procedure and (minimal) time for recuperation. If you talk to your dentist he may be able to give you some assurance that no more than a day of recuperation with painkillers should be required. (I’m speculating there, but the dentist should have some data.)

As for the wedding, you can ask for anything, but since it’s unlikely that you’d be able to fly to Cambodia in one day for one ceremony (on the same day), then fly back to the USA for a reception on the second day (which does happen to be a Saturday, at least), and then be ready for work again on the following Monday…

What is your realistic expectation of what it would take to accomplish all of that? I’m thinking that between the flights, the ceremony and the reception, you’re talking four days, minimum. Who has the energy to fly from Asia to the USA and party on the day of the return? I know, I know: “the young”. But still… you’re going to be dragging for a week after that. The wedding plans seem unrealistic to me. You might have to give up on that if you really want the job.

glacial's avatar

@CWOTUS I think the OP is saying that the two weddings will be in the same country – just one wedding for each culture.

chelle21689's avatar

Not fly to Cambodia. It’s in town…but most times Asian culture like to do their own traditional wedding and then the next day is American

Pandora's avatar

Hopefully you will have off Saturday and be able to attend the reception. I’m sure a nice gift will make up for not being around for the first day.
Family members and friends should understand. If you do have off on weekends then schedule your surgery for friday after work or at least ask for the last 2 hours off of work on a friday and you should be recovered sufficiently to return to work by monday. My daughter had 6 wisdom teeth pulled at the same time. They hadn’t all come out because she had no room for them. It only took her about 2 full days to recover to the point where she could eat and the pain was pretty much gone. She was still swollen for the next 2 days but she was up and walking about. She just couldn’t talk to well.
You can live without one wisdom tooth. Just have it yanked out. You will probably just be swollen a little but its not like it is 6 wisdom teeth. :)

Cupcake's avatar

I would ask either during the 2nd interview or when they offer the job, but make it clear that you are willing to forgo the wedding plans if the timing interferes with your work duties or coverage.

Do not wait until you start the job. You shouldn’t really ask for time off during the first 6 months, in my experience.

deni's avatar

You need to tell them straight up what you will need if you are to be hired. Work with them though, say, hey, if you want to train me or whatever, I can come in all of next week but then I’ll need to be out xxx and xx for teeth and wedding, whatever. Or, I can get my teeth out and start as soon as I feel better, but I will need off for this wedding. 2 days isn’t a big deal. Just be up front with them, ask them what they think.

chelle21689's avatar

I’m surprised no one thinks it’s messed up to decline a wedding that has has been planned with me included with the dresses bough, and the other cambodian outfits lol

deni's avatar

@chelle21689 I think that would be messed up. Don’t do that. When you start giving up your personal life for work things go downhill, at least for me.

glacial's avatar

@chelle21689 It would certainly be unfortunate, and no one would blame you for choosing the wedding above the job. But from the employer’s point of view, it looks selfish to walk into a new place of employment and say, “I’m reeeeally happy you hired me and everything, but I’m going to need this, this, this, and this day off. Okay?” They aren’t going to be inclined to see it from the point of view of your friend who is getting married and has to accommodate your absence. It’s not fair, it’s just how things are.

I think rather than seeing it as people saying that you shouldn’t attend your friend’s wedding, maybe you should see it as people saying that your chances of getting through the interview process will be increased once the wedding is over. But if the wedding is tbe higher priority for you, then I don’t know why you wouldn’t go. Just discuss it in the job interview.

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