What year is it?

I think it’s a bit rude to promote a calendar system which, on the surface, suggests to western children that human history began 2013 years ago, upon the death of Jesus Christ. Nothing against Christ here… He wasn’t the one to decide for the calendar to begin with him.

But if we count from the Abrahamic time frame, should the year be somewhere around 6000? Perhaps older from the Hindu time frame?

Isn’t it possible now to determine when the first hominids appeared?

Shouldn’t the year be, from Lucy’s point of view, the year 3.3M?

Or at least the first Sapiens should say the year is 200G… right?

Why not just count from the very beginning of time itself? I’ve heard estimates ranging from 13.5 to 14.5 Billion years ago. Can we split the difference and just say the current year is 14B?

What year is it? I’d really like to know. Because after the fall of Christianity, my tombstone will be marked with a date that won’t be understood by any survivors of the Zombie Apocalypse.