I'm a server in training, give me your tips!

I expect a server to communicate with the standard TCP/IP protocol.

Congratulations on the new job! Be thankful that you have the opportunity to go through some sort of training program….not all do. I hope that their process is designed to set you up for success. Being a server is not an easy or intuitive job.

101 Tips:
– You are working for a company that is out to make a profit. Focus on how you can contribute to this. In your role, this means providing outstanding customer service. The key is to truly listen to each customer and treat them as they want to be treated and not how you would want to be treated. Every customer has different expectations.
– Learn as much as you can about the food and beverages on the menu. What are the ingredients? How is it prepared? How much leeway is there for special requests? What items are 86ed? What do they taste like? What would you recommend?
– Be prepared to answer the same questions repeatedly. While it may seem obvious to you, it isn’t to the new customer. This is probably one of the hardest parts of being a customer service rep.
– Be a team player. This means showing to up to work at least 15 minutes early. Help out co-workers, even if it isn’t your ‘job’. Ask for help when needed. Don’t be afraid to bend the rules when it will result in a positive outcome; apologies can come later. Give credit where credit is due to others. Offer suggestions on how to make the process better.

As for the eye, how about, “You are so kind to ask. Don’t worry…It’s just a birthmark.” If possible, have a childhood photo of yourself on hand to prove it. It seems silly, but some people are just daft.

Please keep us posted on how the new job is coming along. It would be nice to hear how you are adapting to this crazy environment.

Be genuinely happy while on the job. A smile can make all the difference! (This goes for pretty much any job, in my opinion.)

It’s a good idea to check on your customers from time to time. I hate it when a half hour goes by and no one checks on us. Being friendly at all times helps, too, even though you may be in a crappy mood.

I recently heard a subliminal expert cite a research that claims servers receive 20% more tips by touching the patrons. I mean, don’t feel them up or give massages… But a light touch on the shoulder is theorized to make you more familial.

I think the balance of attention/privacy is important and often overlooked, at least by American servers, who have to hustle for tips to make up for their $2 an hour wages. It’s important to check on your customers, as @AshlynM said, but I would like to add that I find it very annoying when waiters ask me “Is everything alright with your meal?” or “How is everything?” before I am two bites in. At that point, I usually just say “Fine, thank you” to get them out of my hair. I do not consider this good service.

Don’t sit down and chat with me. I don’t know you, will probably never see you again and don’t want to know what you are doing after work. I don’t get to eat out often and when I do, it’s generally with friends I want to catch up with, not a wait person I don’t know. Yes, this happened to me the last time I was out with friends on my birthday. The waiter sat down with us 3 different times. We weren’t mean to him, but we weren’t receptive either, but he didn’t take the hint.

I agree with @chyna. The only time I don’t mind a waiter making extensive small talk with me is when I go to a restaurant alone, and even then I like to be able to eat in peace once my food is served.

Good advice from everyone.

I will add, when you are talking to older patrons, know that they may have impaired hearing and/or vision. Look directly into their face/eyes stand facing them (don’t stand behind or to the side) when you are addressing them, if you need to, lean in a little bit. Don’t talk deliberately slowly, as if the senior was an idiot, and don’t shout, simply talk in a clear voice and do not use slang. And try not to get frustrated when they don’t answer you correctly (because they probably didn’t hear you completely). If they need more time to look at the menu, don’t get all pissy, just say, “That’s OK, I’ll come back in a few minutes.” Do not EVER say, “No problem.” The term no problem to an older person sounds as if you were suggesting that they were a problem in the first place. Don’t ever say it! Also, try to enunciate your words, don’t mumble, and don’t get irritated if you have to repeat yourself.

Know that you will be repeating yourself, giving the same answers, giving the same information over and over and over, for as long as you have the job. Learn to embrace that fact, don’t allow yourself to get angry about it. As some of the others have said, you will be saying the same thing over and over and over, but the patron will likely only be there one time, and will need to hear the information (even if you’ve given the information to thousands of other patrons over your career).

Know your menu items inside and out. Go home and make flash cards for yourself with maybe a picture of the item on one side and the ingredients list and name of the dish on the other side. People need to know exactly what is in a dish, especially if they have dietary restrictions, allergies, are vegetarians or vegans, or simply have an aversion to certain ingredients. If a customer asks you whether not there is X,Y or Z in a certain dish, and you don’t know, say, “I’‘m not sure, let me go and find out for you.” and then find out.

If you need to keep a cheat sheet in your apron, that might be helpful for you.

Find out ahead of time, from your chef or manager or whomever has this knowledge, what kinds of substitutions are OK, and if any of those subs will give a change in price, higher or lower, so that when you are talking with your patron, you can explain this, rather than giving them a big surprise on their bill.

Definitely come around to the table to ask if anything is needed, but not in the first 3 minutes of the dishes being eaten, because the patrons won’t yet know if their food is fine yet. And when you come around, do not ask if everything is OK when a patron has a mouthful of food or has a glass to his lips, because they can’t answer you at that moment. Also, be mindful of patrons who are deep within conversation, don’t interrupt conversations to ask if someone wants fresh ground pepper on their pasta (the pepper grinding business needs to stop, if you ask me, people can pepper their own food, they’re not toddlers).

If there are children present with your guests, be aware ahead of time, that there might be special needs. Ask if they need a booster seat or a high chair or bibs, or cups of milk with lids. Know that kids have a tendency to spill stuff. Don’t let this upset you, just be prepared when it happens. Know where the towels are, know who is responsible for cleaning up the mess (will it be you, the busboy, or a combination, be willing to help out) and then offer to get the child another cup of milk or whatever it was that was spilled.

If you have adult disabled patrons, speak to the disabled person first, with regards to what they would like to order or if there is anything that you can bring them (extra napkins, a cup with a lid, etc.) The people with the disabled person will let you know if you need to re-direct the questions to them. But it can be very dis-heartening for an adult disabled person if all of the communication is directed at the non-disabled people in the party. Most disabled patrons can talk (even if it is hard to understand them) rather than being mentally impaired or unable to speak.

Be polite and friendly, but don’t get chummy. Most people are very uncomfortable with forced chumminess, but they may be too polite or embarrassed to tell you that. Good old fashioned politeness, coupled with knowledge, makes a good server.

No joke is needed for the birthmark. Just say, “Oh it’s just a birthmark.” No need to say anything else about it.

Near the end of the meal, check the table again and ask if anyone needs any take-out containers. Don’t make the patrons have to get up and go find you or someone else to get a take-out container. Also, don’t make them have to get up and find you or someone else to give them their check. When people are finished eating, they want to go, not to have to sit around for 10 or 15 minutes longer, waiting for their check.

If you are writing the amount owed on the check, rather than it being printed out, use very legible handwriting. People don’t want to guess how much they owe, or have to get up and find someone to translate their check.

If someone leaves a small or non-existent tip, don’t go chasing after that person. Let it go, most people are going to tip you. Who knows why someone would leave a small or non-existent tip, it could be for any number of reasons, don’t speculate on the reason. Just let it go. Learn how to control your temper, now, and learn how not to jump to conclusions about patrons, now. Be calm, cool and collected (even if you’ve had a shitty day) and be kind to everyone, even if they are not kind to you.

You will get horrible patrons every now and then, do your best to not let them get to you. Be calm, cool and collected (even if you’ve had a shitty day) and be kind to everyone, even if they are not kind to you. Learn to politely apologize to rotten patrons for problems, even if you did not cause the problems. Figure out ways (beforehand) on how to rectify problems, even if you did not cause the problems. Do not make a bigger problem out of rotten patrons’ complaints unless they threaten to harm you, or they talk to your manager about what “you did” (always know exactly what you did, did not do, and what you said, and what steps you took to rectify a problem, when and if you have to explain to a manager what has happened in a situation). Unfortunately, my best friend’s boyfriend is one of these dudes, who think they deserve more than everyone else, he’s never satisfied and hasn’t enjoyed a meal or the service anywhere he’s ever been. Watch out for this guy! But also, don’t let him intimidate you.

Learn to read people. Not all of your patrons will have the same type of personality. It’s OK to engage in a tiny bit of small talk with some patrons, but not all.

For example, if you see a group of smiling older ladies, you might say something like, “Hello Ladies, are you all going to the flower show?” or “I hope you’re enjoying the sunshine today, last week it was so cold.”

If you see some patrons that look a little more on the snobby or snooty or on the un-smiling side (and that means different things to different people) keep it real polite and very un-obtrusive. Call these people sir and madam.

If you see some patrons that have kids, you could say to the kids, “Hey partners, how are you doing today?” Then say to the parents, “They’re really cute, my son/nephew has a hat just like that.” and “Can I get you guys any booster chairs, high chairs or crayons?” A lot of restaurants, even fancy ones, provide crayons for the kids. If yours doesn’t, maybe suggest it to the owner or manager.

If you see some patrons that look like they might have just come from a funeral or a hospital, because they look sad, simply be polite and un-obtrusive, but don’t make any cheery comments about the weather or flower shows.

If you see a group of college kids, you could say something like, “Do you folks go to State? Cool, go Vikings!” But don’t engage them anymore, unless they engage you, then it’s OK to chat a little bit (but only a little bit).

If you see a group of people who appear to be tourists, you could say, “Oh, are you folks headed to Disneyland/the beach/the fair today? That should be fun, where are you folks from?” But don’t say much more, unless they engage you in conversation. Some people like to chat and others don’t.

Best to use the term folks instead of ladies, girls or gals, if you are addressing a group of females under aged 50. For females over 50, I think the term ladies is more polite. Although if it is a group with a mother and daughter (like a little kid) I think it’s OK to use the term ladies, because the little kid gets to think you are treating her as an equal, and she is likely to act more grownup. In other words, know your audience.

Now go get ‘em @pleiades!

I’m assuming this is a nice restaurant, not a fast food place. I really disagree strongly about touching customers in a formal restaurant. It’s a no no. Also, don’t refer to customers as “you guys.”
Be ready to be friendly, but be quick to switch back to formal behavior. A broad smile can turn into a small smile if warranted.
Listen carefully and take notes if necessary when taking orders.
Look in the customer’s eye at least briefly.
Be prepared to describe how a dish is made.
Serve from the left and take away from the right.
Keep and eye on your tables to see if things look okay. Notice and respond if there seems to be a question (a dropped fork, something wanted,etc.)
Don’t rush service to keep the tables turning.

When your customers are clearly engaged in a conversation, don’t interrupt them to say “Is everything all right?”

@janbb Instead, what would should be done? Like, for instance say their tea is clearly ¾ gone. Thanks!

@pleiades Wait until there is a pause in the conversation or if there is something you must say like “Do you need a refill?” But don’t just interrupt thoughtlessly to ask for the umpteenth time if everything is all right. It makes me crazy..

Be cheerful and seem pleased your customers are there, no matter what kind of a day you are having. Be helpful when asked but otherwise anticipate their needs as unintrusively as possible. I always tip but I give 10% for minimal, grudging service. I give 20% for truely fine, professional service. I give 15% for basic service with no effort to find out what i /we want or need.

When I get surly and incompetent service, I round up the bill to the next dollar and speak to the manager or Maitre d’hotel. I’m sure your customers will never have to do that!