(Possibly NSFW) What interesting new insults have you seen lately?

I have always liked the ” Your village called, they’re missing an idiot.” lol
Not really new maybe, but funny never the less.

I also, personally, like to say that some people have the IQ or personality of a loaf of bread, a potato under the sink, a bathmat, keep filling in the blanks with whatever you come up with. haha

I invented one yesterday, during a traffic altercation.

I was driving through a parking lot, and a woman, who wasn’t looking in my direction, started to pull out and nearly hit me. I honked my car horn so that we wouldn’t have an accident.

Both our windows were open, so she started screaming angrily, saying that I should have slowed down and let her go—expletive—who do I think I am—expletive, expletive…

I looked right at her, put my index finger to my pursed lips, and “shhhed” her. No words, no angry reactions; I just treated her like a misbehaving child. She let loose a loud string of profanity. I “shhhed’ her again, and she shut up.

Amazing experience. It’s no secret that when anger meets anger, an ugly conflict ensues, and that deflecting anger—when possible—is a better tactic.

Ya mom’s seen more pricks than an antique dartboard & she’s been cocked more than Davy Crockett’s rifle.
They’re secretly filming your life to make a commercial for euthanasia.

A woman tried to cut me off in a parking lot, and then started cursing me in a loud voice. My response was “you give cunts a bad name”.

^^ Bon Jovi…“a shit follows a fart & you’re so lame, you give cunts a bad name”

A pre-schooler told me to “go jump into a lake”. 5 stars for creativity.

@ucme I don;t recall ever hearing that. I guess great minds, etc…

A favourite from a dime-store fantasy novel: “May the fleas of a thousand syphilitic she-camels defile the grave of your grandmother, thou misbegotten offspring of a djinn and a jackass!”

If someone tells you to kill yourself, you say something along the lines of “I’ll climb to the top of your ego and jump down to your IQ”.

@Seek_Kolinahr Haha! I’ve heard, “May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your crotch, and may your arms be too short to scratch!”

@Blackberry Oooh, love that one.

This is not a new one at all, but I love this old one from Casablanca (if it can be called an insult).

Ugarte: You despise me, don’t you?
Rick: If I gave you any thought I probably would.

When the ugliness is with a woman, the word “fat” will trump everything. It makes women crumble.

Her: “Get out of my way! I was on this sidewalk before you were! How dare you block my way!!!”

You: “If you weren’t so fat, you wouldn’t take up so much room.”

Another her: “This is my parking space, and I’m not moving.”

You: “I’d move you myself, but you’re too fat to lift.”

Yes, it’s very mean and cruel of me to share this little secret. I’m not condoning or recommending such behavior. But, it does work in a pinch. Almost every woman will be rendered speechless by this particular eff-word.

“I’ll explain and I’ll use small words so that you’ll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.”

“You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste. Good nutrition has given you some length of bone, but you’re not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you, Agent Starling?”

And my personal favorite:

“Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!”

You were such an ugly baby, your mama fed you with a catapult.

“Something’s wrong with you.” Make direct, unwavering eye contact when you say this, and the other person will have no idea what to say or how to respond.

“You’re so far beneath me, you’re another species. There’s nothing we could possibly discuss. Goodbye.”

“Your personality is that of a rabid Chihuahua intent on destroying its own tail.”

“Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood.”

I didn’t make them up but I used both of those recently… when someone on Facebook called my Mother a bitch. It shut him up quickly.

“The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.”

“Good morning. I see the assassins have failed?”

Go and eat shit with broken glass in it.

Cock-juggling thunder cunt. I’m also quite fond of calling people a douche nozzle. Twat waffle and cunt muffin are both nice because people don’t have any idea how to react at all.

@flutherother I pity the person whose shit that was.

I hope you get paralysed & spend your life blinking at people that your carer has been raping your mouth.