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cassidybarrett's avatar

Complicated love triangle - How would you react if you were me?

Asked by cassidybarrett (17points) June 17th, 2013

I live in a mixed dorm and there is a guy that I really like. I used to hang out with him, his friend and a bunch of people who live also in the dorm. But his friend recently told me that he liked me and I rejected him as kindly as possible. I decided to put some space between us to make things less awkward. But he still wants to hang out with me and act like nothing happened. Also the guy I like knew that his friend liked me but his behavior made me think that he liked me too (like he would always tease me, flirt with me and he even cooked for me once!). I haven’t told him but I’m pretty sure he knows that I like him because he said that he knows what I like about him and that I don’t have as much fun with others as I have with him. That night, we went out with some friends and he started flirting with girls in front of me and left us to go to a strip club. I felt very hurt after that and he tried to talk to me like nothing happened. But I can’t talk or look at him anymore and he seems to be very uncomfortable around me. I thought I should just give them some space because things are already awkward between his friend and I and I don’t want to ruin their friendship. The problem is we all live together and people have noticed that there’s something wrong. What would you do if you were me? I’m sorry it’s long but I don’t know what to do!

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10 Answers

KNOWITALL's avatar

Talk to them seperately, be honest and open, and get it all out. It may be embarassing, but it all sounds awkward and juvenile to me. Just COMMUNICATE! :)

cassidybarrett's avatar

Thank you for your answer @KNOWITALL. I have already talked to the guy I rejected and he said we’re cool. But I wonder if talking to the guy I like is worth it because he certainly doesn’t want to lose a friend. But yeah, getting it all out would definitely make me feel better.

SuperMouse's avatar

Leave them both alone for the time being.

elbanditoroso's avatar

This reminds me of a mosquito bite.

It you mess with it, it bleeds and hurts. And scabs over which leaves a scar.

If you don’t mess with it, it will go away, all by itself.

Don’t mess.

LuckyGuy's avatar

You wrote: ” he started flirting with girls in front of me and left us to go to a strip club. I felt very hurt…”

Do you really want somebody like him? Before you answer, think about it for a while.
I’m guessing there’s a nice, quiet guy down the hall who likes you more than you imagine.

MOMANNB6's avatar

There are other fish in the sea, and this is a jerky situation. Friend people who will be loyal to you your whole life. ONLY love someone who will be loyal to you forever. These do not seem to be them. If you go elsewhere, and they are worthy of you, they will come after you, do not fear.

BosM's avatar

When it gets too complicated you need to simplify it. If a friendship is too much work and drama just imagine what a relationship would look like. You should really sit down and decide what you want out of this.

From what you wrote, and what I could follow, it sounds to me as if you should go about your business when it comes to these two friends, and find someone (else) who can communicate with you effectively, has interests in common, makes you laugh, is fun, and mature enough to be in a relationship. Good luck.

talljasperman's avatar

When I get myself in messes I ask my mom, or at least confront the person I am worried about.

cassidybarrett's avatar

Thanks to all of you for your answers! I decided to leave them alone and just give them some space. Plus, the timing is perfect because I’ll be gone all summer. It will give all of us some time to get over this.

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