Friends with Benefits? Fake relationship?

Run away from this dysfunctional person who is cheating on his unstable girlfriend.

I’d stay away if I was you. It sounds like you’re becoming the rebound for this person.

If you are into sex and nothing more, and only when it’s convienient for the person in question, (who remember, is going to put that ‘somebody else’ before you, then go for it.

Don’t believe it even if he does. If you do go for it. Which I don’t advise. Don’t expect anything out of it. Well other then pain and drama.

Why not ask for more from a first time and truly make the event special?

Wait are you asking us is it ok to be a home wrecker?

Put yourself in the girlfriends shoes, not the same bed…

Never cheat.
Never be a home wrecker.

Also, call the suicide hotline.

You don;t become a “friend with benefits”; that’s not a friendship. And he’s not offering to make your first time “special”, he wants to use you for sex. And he’s not proposing “a more intimate, shorthand relationship”; he is only offering to have sex with you so he can have sex. He does not have your interest in mind at all.

What you’re describing doesn’t even rank as a “cheap date”.

Unless a pure sexual relation is what you’re looking for, and I find that doubtful if you’re asking here, then this isn’t for you. I’m going to side with @YARNLADY and figure on this person being dysfunctional. Not only do you need to grow up and move on, but he needs to start figuring out what he wants in life and start moving forward.

I’d consider it a messy, demeaning situation.

Threatening suicide is no way to try and keep somebody in your life.
There isn’t a person in this world worth killing yourself over, even though sometimes breaking up with somebody sometimes feels like death.

My opinion? Get as far away from this situation as you possibly can. Run fast and don’t look back.

His current relationship is a disaster, so he’s looking for a piece of ass on the side. He is trying to manipulate you into thinking it’s more than that with the talk of “something special”. There would be nothing special about it, at least not for you. As someone said above, this guy does not have your interests at heart. He is looking for a little side action, nothing more.

Avoid.

@iLindseyMarie You should step back and think this over thoroughly. The guy’s in a relationship that he’s not ending, he’s using your crush on him to put another notch in his belt, and you’re thinking about it? He hasn’t even offered to take you out on a date. The only thing that’s going to be special about this is how specially painful it’s going to end up for you is my guess. Are you sure you’re ready to go to a sexual relationship?

The collective has spoken with one voice here – which is very unusual. Listen to it if you can.

I would say that he is using you to have sex and take your virginity. He will take it and walk away back to his girlfriend who he values enough to date and call his girlfriend.

He doesn’t value you at all except for the thought of sex.

Save yourself for someone who cares.

Run dpn’t walk away.

Do you really want your first to be with someone like this?
Why don’t you ask his girlfriend how good he is in bed first. You really should validate how “special” this guy really is.
What an arrogant turd.

FWB’s is the equivalent of relational junk food.
Do you want to feed upon empty emotional calories or a healthy diet of self respect and personal integrity? Choice is yours but most people that want a FWB’s situation are dysfunctional in some way, sexually addicted, committment phobes, lazy partners that only want their base animal needs met and clearly not ideal. Up to you, maybe you need the experience to judge for yourself.

Why does he think that having sex for the first time with him will be somehow “special”? He’s not only a loser and a liar, but he has an ego 500 times the size of his penis. It won’t be special for you, but he’ll have bragging rights about how he nailed a virgin. And he will brag, trust me.

He is trying to use you. Walk away.

Danger! Danger! Danger!

Friends with benefits usually refers to two single people who decide to have sex but not be in a ‘relationship’. Basically booty calls. Sometimes it works, but often someone gets their feeling’s hurt when one of them finds a real relationship.

@Dutchess_III LMAO! …an ego 500 times the size of his penis lolol
Yeah, that ego has some serious girth. :-p

You need to know that penile penetration does not guarantee the big O. For some reason when I was a virgin I was convinced it did.
Don’t get your hopes to high for “special” guy. If you want “special” wait for someone who thinks the world of you, adores you, an finds YOU special.

Welcome to Fluther.
I echo what @janbb said. You have no idea how rare it is for everyone on Fluther to agree on anything, let alone relationship situations.

Run from this user. There’s no intimacy involved if a dude is just trying to get some on the side because he’s not getting any from his dysfunctional ‘relationship.’ Please respect yourself enough to know that you deserve far, far better.

You will only have ONE first time. Do you want to squander it on someone who will just use you and discard you.

Why are you in such a rush to have sex? What makes sex special is the intimacy between two people who love and care for each other deeply. Otherwise it’s just animal instincts.

Why not save your first time for that guy who thinks you’re the sun moon and stars put together. Someone who feels that you’re special, who will cherish you and treat you with dignity and respect. This guy isn’t it obviously. He’s a user. Don’t give yourself away so cheaply to someone who will take advantage of your inexperience and when you seek emotional attachment will discard you like a used tissue.

Put as much distance between yourself and this cad as quickly as possible. Run, do not walk to the nearest exit. Value yourself enough not to fall for his blather. The right guy is put there somewhere. You just havent met yet. And as long as you’re wrapped up with this user you won’t.

You go @Buttonstc. The guy I lost my virginity too continued to bring up how “special” it was for a couple of years after that. “We had something special,don’t forget.”
“No, we didn’t.”
HE thought it was special. I didn’t.

As with so many of these “first time callers”, I wonder where the OP has gone.

I know. :( Maybe it wasn’t what she wanted to hear.

He sounds like a twerp and a dangerous one at that. The next time he threatens suicide, report him to somebody.

I think she was implying that his GF was the one threatening to commit suicide if he broke up with her.

@Coloma Spot on description of the whole FWB phenomenon.

How will you feel, if after having sex with him, he never, ever calls you back? Because that is a very real possibility. You may think having sex with him will make him feel close to you or even love you, but really you will just be another notch on his belt. He will point you out to his friends and say “I had some of that.” Very degrading. Have some self esteem and wait for someone that cares about you.

Well, if he gets horney again and can’t find it anywhere else, he’ll call.

He’ll also talk about you.

@1two3 agreed. If you just want to have some sex, which is obviously fine, go for it. Why not? Be selfish, because he certainly is. Depends on what you want.

She isn’t old enough or experienced enough to know what she wants. He’s the only one who would “benefit” from it.

Disrespectful is the word that comes to mind. Lack of self esteem is another.
Why do people (smart people in other ways) fall for this kind of garbage?

Run as fast as you can…preferably in the opposite direction of this impending fiasco.

May I ask how old you are?

Most of you questions are sexually explicit, yet you sound like you are possibly in Middle School or High School and are still a virgin. The game you talked about in This Question about making a guy sexually un-comfortable on purpose, and This Question in which you talk about a fellow wanting to take your virginity while he currently has a girlfriend, sounds like a potential for disaster and heartbreak.

What’s going on? We, as adults, have a lot of good practical advice to share with you, but you need to let us know how old you are and how you have gotten into these situations. If I had a teenage daughter that was contemplating some of the things you’ve been talking about, I’d be very, very concerned for her welfare.

I think a few Jellies would have slightly different advice for a 15 year old than they would for a 25 year old.

@Kardamom I was wondering this myself.
In this situation my advice would probably be the same no matter her age, but my opinion would differ according to age on a lot of other questions.