Are the some personal issues you might have that you would never bring up in casual conversation?

We had a bar b que a few weeks ago. A woman came with her bf and 2 of her kids. Her youngest is 5. He’s been a horrible child since the day he could start talking, and much of his problem goes back to his father, who is a violent, woman-hating, abusive drunk. The middle child has the same father, and she has problems too, but they’re expressed differently.
The mom and I were talking and she mentioned some problems the 5 year old was having in school.
She said, “He’s so bad they suspended him from school.”
I almost fell out of my chair. They suspended a kindergartener from school?
Then she casually gave me some details…at lunch he’d sneak out of the lunch room and go back to the class room and climb around on the desks and tear stuff up.
When the class was in session he’d poke other students with pencils and run around the room, yelling.
She said, “He was doing so well, until spring break. He came back from spring break and he was just out of control.”
I said, “Did he spend much time with his father over break.”
“Well, yeah. He as with him all week. I had to work.”
I was just left speechless.
If my child had those kinds of problems I sure as hell wouldn’t be discussing them at parties. And I’d sure as hell find a way to get him away from the father. But she’ll leave them with the father even when it isn’t his visiting time, so she can go do whatever.
She acts like it has nothing to do with her and she’s just helpless in all of it.
I would think that if she felt any responsibility for it, the guilt would stop her from discussing it, don’t you?