Why has my ex boyfriend texted me after 8 months of No Contact?

Asked by utopian_x (26

) June 22nd, 2013

I got a text from a number I didn’t have stored in my phone today. I had a new phone recently so I don’t have a lot friends numbers…

They said they had two tickets to an event (one that I was very interested in) and asked me if I wanted to go with them, but as I didn’t know who sent me the text, I replied asking who it was. When I got the response and saw my exes name, I was surprised, but not too shocked. He sent me a friend request on Facebook a couple of months ago now (which I declined of course) so I had a feeling he would be in contact again eventually.

There was no apology or anything. I might have actually been tempted to go if I got a nice text apologising but he seems to think it’s perfectly normal to walk out of someone’s life without a word for 8 months and suddenly reappear without any explanation. All he could say was that he thought I would ‘appreciate’ the invite… I told him that I would appreciate it, but the problem is I’d be going with him. He said “I thought that might be a problem for you but the offer is there anyway” and then he went on to send another text saying “Oh by the way you don’t have to look around with me. You could totally go off and do your own thing if you want to”. My last text to him was “I don’t think so. Surely there are other people you can invite.” I don’t plan on texting him again.

He replied immediately saying “Yeah I can. That’s fine I was just thinking you might fancy coming. I completely respect the decision. Let me know if you change your mind. x” Haha, as if…

I’m wondering if he’s done this because he’s curious and just wants to see how I am. Or maybe he wants to find out if he can reel me in again? Or maybe he is just bored in his life?

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9 Answers

His motivations don’t matter if you want nothing to do with him. Sometimes they get bored and think going back might be easier than starting something new with someone new. Sometimes they’ve grown up a bit and realized they made a mistake and want to make amends. If you can’t sense his motivations, then you can’t expect a bunch of interwebz strangers to be able to read his mind. You say there was no apology, so that suggests to me that he’s just bored and lazy, rather than penitent.

hearkat (22917

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Who knows. It could any of those reasons or a million other reasons. What you do know is:

1. He walked out on you without a word and disappeared for 8 months.

2. He tried to get back in your life with still no explanation and no apology.

3. You don’t want a guy like that in your life.

marinelife (62485

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He wants to find out if he can reel you in again. That is what makes him feel important. Like poking a wound? Whether he is bored in his life makes no difference. It could be both.
He doesn’t sound like a nice guy, to say the least.

flo (13313

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He wants to rekindle being with you, not for any reason other than curiosity that you might go out with him again. And he just wants to see if his charm works.

zenvelo (39429

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@zenvelo
Re. And he just wants to see if his charm works. at the expense of what?
I wouldn’t call You’re are not worth an apology/explanation charm.
I call it mean, insensitive…etc.

flo (13313

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@flo Who said he had any charm? I was trying to define his own self(isn) viewpoint. And he never said what you are accusing him of saying, he just demonstrated it but never said it. So I did’t call his behavior charming, I am trying to state what he probably thinks of himself.

zenvelo (39429

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@zenvelo I apologize. I should have known that must be what you meant. You meant his “charm”.

flo (13313

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…. Also @zenvelo re. my You’re are not worth an apology/explanation (I was putting his action in verbal terms) I didn’t accuse him of saying it. There is no quotation marks

flo (13313

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