If your child is 10 years old and has been getting bullied in school by another 10 year old what can be done about this?

Go to the teacher and the principal again and immediately after that start approaching the parents of the sick little monsters threatening with legal action against them. If they don’t seem to care, then threaten in such a way that they realize that you may have to take things into your hands and the outcome won’t be nice for anybody. Useless parents raise useless kids and it has been proved time and time again.

DON’T APPROACH THE SCHOOL IN A FRIENDLY WAY, SHOW THEM YOU MEAN BUSINESS IF THINGS DON’T CHANGE!

It needs to be addressed with the Principal and if nothing is done, go to the Superintendent of the school board.

My niece is going through this as well. She once told us all the names of the kids in the whole school that are nice to her – there were four, and two of them are family. She once had a really bad day where the kids were making fun of her and told my mom it made her want to die. She and my sister have gone to the school (teacher and principal) about this on numerous occasions and it still hasn’t stopped. The school prides itself on being anti-bullying and the kids have gotten calls home and lectures about this behavior, but they refuse to stop.

Kids are assholes, plain and simple. I’d love to say blame the parents, and in many cases you can, but I’ve seen some mean ass kids with great parents that just can’t control them when they’re away.

Interested in the answers here.

Find a physically strong 10 to 11 year old friend.

Consider taking your son out of the school and putting him in another one. The consequences of bullying are long-reaching in your son’s life.

You could consider suing the principal and teachers for not responding.

I agree with marinelife about suing the school for not responding. I know the hard thing about moving a child to a different school is that you don’t want him to lose contact with his friends :/ I would say maybe talk to the child’s parents and threaten legal action against them?

If not, maybe consider enrolling your child in self defense classes so he can kick this little bully’s ass. Not that I condone fighting, I avoid it at all costs and have never been in a fight, but my mother always said that if someone was picking on me one day and I defended myself and got into a fight, she would be ok even if I got suspended for a day. Sometimes certain people need to get their butts kicked before they realize they can’t pick on people

Also, keep a detailed journal. Documentation is essential for proof, for legal proceedings, to look for patterns, etc.

I’d also look into getting your kid into counseling. This can serve several purposes, not only as a way to support your kid, but the counselor/psychologist’s observations are legally admissible in court, and it also provides an objective point of view for everyone about the situation.

You can also look into alternative schooling- everything from transferring to other schools (he won’t miss much at his old school, will he?) to homeschooling.

@cutiepi92: The problem with kicking another child’s butt is that the consequences may be worse than just a one day suspension. It would certainly put the whole issue into the limelight but may end up worse for the victim child (the OP’s child) than for the one who got beaten up.

@jca well as I said before, it’s not like I’ve ever been on a fight or condone it, but I’m curious as to how it would end up being worse for the victim child? Even though I’ve never had to deal with it, I’ve known a few people who stood up to their bullies and the bully stopped. I would rather deal with my kid being in trouble with the school than having them constantly picked on and mentally tortured every day for years by some jerk bully.

I mean obviously, I think the one of the better options would be to approach the superintendent or the kid’s parents. If he has friends at his old school, it would suck to have to leave them all behind and move because I know it’s always hard to make friends when everyone is cliqued up already

By law, a principal of a public school (and his superintendent) have obligations to confront and deal with bullying, no matter how trivial it may appear.

Contact (or have your attorney contact) the local board of Education who monitor the school systems.

If all else fails, call a reporter at the local newspaper and ask for anonymity but suggest that he do an exposé of bullying in your school.

The principal of the school cannot make unilateral and willy-nilly decisions about bullying. Neither can a teacher. They are servants of the system and accountable.

It is possible it won’t happen again this year, but if it does I would send your son to a different school. I would seriously consider just registering him now in a different school and not risking it.

If this is completely impractical for you, then I agree with those who say no more mister nice guy if there is another incidient, go into that school and tell them every legal and public action you will take. Be a total and absolute crazy bitch. Let them be afraid of you. Go above your principals head. Is your son still in elementary school? Make sure your child is not in the same class as the other boys. Do not take no for an answer. Tell them they can call the police to drag you out of the building or they can change the class if they give you a hard time about. Don’t let the school bully you.

It is so tempting, although I don’t endorse doing this, to threaten those bully kids within an in inch of their lives to get them to stop. There was a case where I lived where a father did just that and he got arrested. I had total empathy for the man, his disabled daughter confined to a wheelchair was being bullied and physically abused by classmates. The dad only verbally scared them, I don’t believe he ever would have physically hurt them.

This happened to me in sixth grade. My mother wrote the teacher a note. I was so trusting of my mother that I was sure the boy would be spoken to but the teacher read it and smiled instead.
Soon came summer vacation and I shot up several inches over this boy. When he crossed me in the aisle first week of school I kicked him in the leg with full force, he yelled and I never had another problem with him. I had been riding my bike all summer and my legs were like rocks.
Im not suggesting you kick these kids but I do suggest you try and hang out near or inside the school and watch them. Then you can grab one of those brats and scare him to death. Or is this just a satisfying fantasy on my part? Or write one a threatening letter, unsigned. PM me if you want any suggestions for what to put in the letter(s). You can’t trust the school personnel.

Forensics being what they are these days, I suggest you not threaten physically or use force. Best to go with threatening legal action, bringing in media, etc. And as I mentioned before, document, document, document.

@Aster just another success story of how bringing the bully down a notch can help them realize they aren’t as big and bad as they think they are lol

This is a really terrible situation. You may have to contact a lawyer (not sure which kind, family law maybe?) if the teacher and the principal have not rectified this situation.

Apparently each state has specific rules and regulations regarding what must be done by the school and its representatives. Try looking up the rules about school bullying for your state.

In the meantime, here is some Information that might be useful.

Here is some more Information about what steps to take.

And Further

And This Important Information

Because your child was actually assaulted, you should contact the police and have them make a report. You should probably contact a lawer (maybe one of the Jellies could suggest the best type of lawyer for this type of situation) and make sure you document everything. And I mean everything. Take pictures, write down names and dates, have your child tell you everything that happened, write down the name and dates of every single person you have talked to about this (the teacher, the principal, the school superintendent, the school board members, the lawyers, the police) and write down everything that was said. Make sure that the school principal gives you a plan of action in writing, and if it seems like they are not responding in a timely manner, keep plugging away at them (document your own statements, phone calls, e-mails and letters too with the dates). You also might consider calling the local news station to let them know that (name the principal and the school) have not protected your child.

You have to be a tough advocate for your child. Good luck and I wish you and your son well.

Thing is, with zero tolerance rules your kid can get expelled if he tries to defend himself. Or, God forbid seriously hurt. Accidents can happen during fights that can be devastating.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with avoiding the situation and going to another school. I know more than once family who has changed schools for their child, even moved to a different school district in one case. There is absolutely no loss of dignity. It does not mean the bully wins. The bully is an idiot, so are his parents, and we might as well go ahead and feel sorry for that kid if his parents don’t take this behavior seriously. I would be so pissed off if my child was bullying another child. I would be embarrased and terribly upset and take it very seriously.

In addition to the suggestions for legal actions against school officials, parents, etc. I do think it would help your child’s sense of self esteem to enroll him in a quality self defense discipline IF HE WANTS TO. It will be money and time well spent and will stand him in good stead for many years.

This is not necessarily so that he can kick the other kid’s ass because the good martial arts schools teach that this is only a very last resort. But the self confidence of eventually knowing that he can if necessary will change his entire bearing and the type of vibe he projects.

Bullies pick on kids whom they perceive as “victimizable” for whatever reason that may be. The goal with martial arts training is to give him that inner boost. If he enjoys this and finds success it will go a long way to counteract the helplessness he now is feeling.

Counseling wouldn’t do any harm either but if it comes down to only being able to afford one or the other I would recommend the martial arts training definitely.

Just make certain to do thorough research on the type of place you’re enrolling him in. Look at online reviews and have a well prepared list of questions for the person in chArge about their philosophy and teaching methods.

I taught 3rd and 4th grade for many years and this is a recommendation that I occasionally made to parents.

Obviously I tried to catch as much of the bullying behavior and nip it in the bud but a teacher can’t be everywhere at once. I took it very seriously and let every kid whom I caught bullying another know this and even had a conference with the pArents if it persisted.

But there are some kids who just seem to attract bullying like flies. I AM NOT BLAMING THE VICTIM HERE.

But some kids are either lacking in confidence or have a gentler than average personality and don’t know how to be assertive. But they’re young and its a skill they can learn. A QUALITY martial arts program can be very helpful in this regard.

This way a child knows that if the people in charge fail him he can protect himself in pretty much any situation. Even if you do decide to switch schools he will be presenting himself as a more inwardly confident child.

At this age kids can sometimes be truly horrible to each other. If those in charge aren’t doing their jobs to be civilizing the little shits who need it, it’s up to you to use whatever means are at your disposal to protect your child legal and otherwise.

Start with that and don’t be afraid to make the school a bit nervous about what you may do if they allow this to continue. Hold their feet to the fire and make them do their jobs. Don’t be afraid to be perceived as a total bitch for the sake of your child. Be the enraged Mama bear protecting their cub.

The squeaky wheel gets the oil. Do whatever you have to to force them to take you seriously.

But also have a backup plan. If your son doesn’t object strenuously, get him into a good martial arts program. It won’t be an overnight miracle. Change takes time. But you will eventually see a more confident kid emerging. Give it a shot. I have seen it make a world of difference for some kids.

@cutiepi92: What @JLeslie said. Many schools now have zero tolerance policies toward violence, just like most employers do. Sometimes the policy states that both children will be disciplined, sometimes just the aggressor. Many times the discipline will be specifically for the child to be expelled.

Get him in some boxing classes….it doesn’t mean he has to fight back, it will just mean that if he ever needs to defend himself one day, he will have the ability to do so. It will also improve his confidence and make him a less likely target.
I do not recomend karate though, most of the karate taught at that age is very impractical and ineffective.

I actually recommend a self defense class. Maybe boxing is good too as @cheebdragon suggested. Then he will be less likely to be paralyzed by fear. I know from having been in bad situations that I tend to be a deer in the headlights for at least a few moments, and practice of defending yourself, or even being able to walk away when presented with situations can prepare a person. Have you reviewed with him what to do if he is confronted by the bullies again? Going over that a few times might help if he voices he is worried about it. Doesn’t matter if it is going to be he says something to them verbally, just walks away, challenges them, whatever you a recommend as a parent, he needs it in his back pocket. If he feels like he doesn’t know what to do he is a sitting duck and can anticipatory anxiety, which is one of the worst types of anxieties. Basically the fear of the fear.

Back to self defense class, self defense is really great, you can take it together as a family. The little tricks you learn to be able to get a way from someone trying to attack you, or get someone else into a hold to subdue them are pretty cool to know. They have them offered as just a one time class for a couple hours. You don’t have to say it is related to your concern about school. If you do it as a family it is just a family thing for safety, but he will now be empowered that he is not so vulnerable. When I took it, it was at the hospital I worked, and the goal was not to hurt the other person, just to save yourself from harm, and restrain the person. Other classes would teach possibly teach move to hurt the person, so slightly different.