How should I approach this situation?

” “fatty could really cook”.” And you’re still with him because…?

No, no, I’m not with him.

Just tell #1—See ya! And don’t bother with explanations. He’s not worth it. He sounds like the type that will start chasing you once he figures out you’re not into him any more. He’ll suddenly turn really nice and start apologizing for anything he can think up that he might have done to tick you off.

As for #2, he’s a friend so you can just talk it out and be honest.

I don’t see what the problem is here.

Dump #1 (going out with another chick on Saturday date night without you is pretty rude, not to mention the stupid dating sites), give #2 100% shot at being your dream guy, you never know.
And being honest with #2 about #1 is okay, honesty is a big plus in a relationship, and being open with each other is important.

Woohoo! Reality isn’t so bad after all.

@sad_girl Because you’ve moved on to #2? I think you can just make it clear to him, in a conversation, that you are not dating anyone else.

Yes, #2 has been pretty persistent about finding out exactly what’s going on with #1. I let him know that the metaphorical axe has fallen, and that plans I had with #1 are not going to come into fruition. I’m still embarrassed that he knows at all, but what can you do….I mean I didn’t start dating #1 with the knowledge that he would become such a jerk!!

@sad_girl I have to say that kind of embarrassment is not unusual. Just today, after yelling at my ex-husband again, I banged my head into the wall and wondered how I could have married him, etc and how embarrassed I am that I did and how much time I wasted.

It’s all a learning curve, we meet people that teach us what we really don’t want in our lives. You don’t have to over explain yourself to anyone.

Don’t treat him like he is treating you. Break up with him.

Be up front about it. Tell him that you have met someone new that you want to date. Let him know that you felt his dinner with his ex (and the fact that she was his ex) was out of bounds, and that you found out that he is logging onto dating sites.

Just told him everything…. eat that number 1. And I bet he thought I’d just put up with it all… he had another thing coming.

@sad_girl Will you change your name to Happy_Girl now? ha!

Indifferent_Girl might be more accurate, haha.

The first guy was a jerk, it seems. You’re better off without him.

As for the new guy knowing some of the dirt that you went through with the ex, I think it’s a good sign that he still wants to be with you.

I would stop talking about #1 to #2 . I would not say that he was a loser, or how #2 is much nicer, or how I was sad about leaving or how I cut him off, or anything more. . It is not #2’s business. It is over and not a topic for discussion. You do not know if your info is getting back to #1. Stop it! You don’t have to mention you are stopping it. Just stop. Talk about the weather. Talk about the meal you just had. Talk about the latest movie, or music, or politics. Just stop talking about #1. That is over. If you must , say you have already closed that chapter and do not care to reread it.
You might ask why #2 is so interested in it.

The dinner with the ex is the least important of the things that you mentioned. At least he was honest in telling you about it. It could very well be a one time thing. That he is lying to you about using other dating sites and that he won’t acknowledge you as his girlfriend on Facebook are red flags. Tell him that his behavior is unacceptable and that you have found someone else. I go along with @LuckyGuy about talking to #2 about #1. The previous relationship is history. There is no need to discuss it.

Didn’t you post about this situation already?

He sounds like a conniving loser. I would give #2 a chance. Being lied to within the first month of a relationship is a terrible sign. Get out before its too late.

say byebye

If I were you I would be totally done with #1 and not invest any more time or energy on him. I would then be available for #2 more often, and he will see that. I agree you should stop talking to 2 about 1, and if you’re done with 1 totally, you’ll have nothing more to say about him anyway.

#1 seems pretty upset about all this. He is adamant that nothing has been going on and that he logs on to delete messages. A really weak excuse. He then gave me his username and password so I could log on and look at it to see he hasn’t been talking to anyone. I didn’t log on. I’d love to believe him, but really, it’s just bad…in every way.

You are right, he is now apologizing for a lot of things, messaging me all the time, it’s just not becoming.

It’s hard when someone is trying to explain something, not to want to give the benefit of the doubt…but I just can’t reconcile this as being anything innocent. It’s hard not to read the writing on the wall.

@sad_girl: I’d just chalk it up to “some things were just not meant to be.”