Unhappily married, into a co-worker/boss, a different co-worker seemed to express interest, what do I do?
I married very young and have been married for 21 years in Sept. ‘13. We have two children (8 & 3). My husband constantly spoils them and teaches them the opposite of what I believe is right. For example, he buys them new toys any time they ask (almost daily) and even when I tell him not to because they will not learn responsibility or respect for what they have, he does it behind my back and tells them not to tell me. I am a Christian and I know God’s word says do not divorce and that a divorced woman is an adulteress (assuming she does not remain celibate and resist the temptation of lust). However, I believe divorce may be the only way to keep my kids from becoming spoiled brats who will feel like they have to go behind my back to have or do anything. I have pretty much made up my mind to seek a divorce but I cannot manage it until the first half of 2014 because I am working on a bachelor degree and cannot spend as much time with my kids as they really need. He fills the void to some extent.
That said, I have realized in recent months that I have a very strong attraction to the assistant manager in my department. I also found out the other day that I have been recommended for an assistant manager position myself which would put us at an equal status, except that he may be in line for a manager position at the same time.
Meanwhile, a colleague from another plant location visited our plant a few days ago. We communicate via email and phone at least 2–3 times per month and he has visited my plant before. On the last visit, he expressed a desire to take me to dinner. I had to decline at the time because I was buried with homework so he offered an open invitation for any time he is in town (implying that he would likely drop any other plans to have dinner with me). I had never seen him in that light before the invitation but he is a very nice guy and I could see occasional dating as a possibility.
Now, for the question. I would never proceed with any other relationship without first being divorced but, in light of impending divorce, do let my AM in on my decision to seek a divorce and express my feelings for him? I have a suspicion he may be at least slightly interested. It’s hard to tell when I am currently married and he has to be professional as my superior but we do flirt a little and I catch him looking at me sometimes. Do I proceed with the divorce and sit back and wait to see if he shows more interest? Do I accept the open dinner invitation from the out-of-town colleague at some point?