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Would stripping (romantic) love of its meaning be helpful when attempting to get over an ex?

Asked by kaye88 (10points) September 19th, 2013

Long story short, my ex and I broke up just a couple of weeks ago. Although he’s an amazing guy and we’re compatible on pretty much every aspect of our lives, he is still trying to get over his ex of 4 years who inflicted a lot of emotional pain in him (she was manipulative and cheated on him badly). According to him, he has no positive feelings left for her, but he’s still angry and insecure because of what she put him through and, unfortunately, all those negative feelings were starting to haunt him in our relationship. As a result, he thought it would be best if we broke up because he realized that he still needed time to heal.

We’ve remained friends and check up on each other every so often. I still care a lot about him and my opinion of him (nicest, most genuine guy I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting/dating) will never change. But I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to allow myself to move on.

These past few weeks have been an emotional roller coaster of ups and downs. Some days I’m ok and can go about my day just as before. But then there are the really bad days, when everything I see/hear/touch/smell reminds me of him and all I can do is curl up under the covers and cry until the pain goes away.

I’m usually an emotionally strong person and can easily talk myself out of having a bad day; looking at the bright side of things is a specialty of mine. However, this breakup is throwing me for a loop and I can’t find the energy to feel happy again. Which brings me back to my main question: Would dissecting love and stripping it of its meaning give me back control of my emotions? In other words, would a pragmatic, non-emotional description of why we fall in love (and why love hurts so much) be a logical way of getting over a breakup? If so, where can I find something along the lines of what I’ve described here? Care to share your own logical thoughts on love?

I’m sorry if this doesn’t make much sense, but I suppose I’m just trying to gain some perspective so that I can let go of my ex without feeling so much pain.

Thank you in advance!

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