Help me stop binge eating?
I think there can definitely be a food addiction whether you are overweight or not. I find that I can’t stop binge eating. I feel it’s taking over my life, and I’m scared I’ll end up fat. I’m thin now, and I love to work out, but I binge on even healthy food, especially at night. I’ve tried to stop, but I can’t go more than a few days. I really hate myself, and lack of self control, because I’ve had dreams of going into massage therapy, personal training, and group fitness instructing, and this is ruining it. I’m wondering if there is a binge eating specialist or therapist who can help me, because I’d rather be dead than be obese. Both my parents have that, and it scares me to no end. There’s a lot of stress in my mom’s life and my life. She’s completely bankrupt, not working, and can’t help me with going to school, even with a certification program. I’ve never worked, and I’ve busted my butt trying to find even volunteer work, and no one even wants me to volunteer. I have no friends, and I’m very depressed and sometimes I can hide it by being friendly, but no one gets it. It’s like they pick everyone else but me. I don’t have my license, and I can’t even go for it, because I can’t find a car. My mom said she’d be my sponsor, but my mom is dirt poor, and we live with my grandmother, and the car she has isn’t even hers. My dad is on the outs, and he doesn’t get the binge eating. He actually encourages me to binge, even though I cry my head off and have been suicidal because of it. It’s a stupid psychological problem, and I really hate it, I’ve had thought of going to school away from home for exercise science if life ever got better, but I worry I’d be so lonely and binge even more. I have a YMCA membership and go there to workout and run on my own, and I have a bike, but the bingeing is ruining everything. I also looked into modeling, but again there’s no money, and things have always been really bad. I feel trapped, and like I’ll never get out. I looked into the National Guard but with my depression, that’s a no go. I wonder if AmeriCorps or City Year would accept me on a part time basis?Is there anything I can do?
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