Send to a Friend

eroi's avatar

How do I deal with my girlfriend's family?

Asked by eroi (33points) September 29th, 2013 from iPhone

So I am a college freshman and I’m dating a high school junior, we’ve been together for almost 2 years now and things have been pretty good. But I’ve been having problems with her family.

I get along well with her dad funny enough, but her mom and older sister not so much. I even hit it off good with her grandparents and all her closest friends. But her mom and sister have had a problem with me since the start, and my girlfriend has told me she notices the bias against me.

But it’s gotten worse with time. Usually it’s just small irritating things like both of them harassing her when I’m gone like trying to her to plan to go away (out of state) for college when she gets older and meet other guys, or sometimes even lie about me and try to ruin my relationship with her dad and any reputation with other family.

Her dad is honestly the only reason why I can still see her, her mom doesn’t let her come over to my house.

Anyways she had a family get together yesterday (I wasn’t there) and her uncles were asking about me (I’ve met them but never liked them) and what I’ve been up to. She told them I’ve been working at getting this new job at a good company and they started asking questions, which she answered. Her uncles start making fun of my new job (keep in mind these are grown men with families…..dissing on a college student), saying that I don’t have the qualifications because I haven’t finished the degree yet and that the job itself is a joke.

I at first found it funny that grown men were stooping to this level but then it started bugging me. It was a family gathering and my entire ambitions and career choices become the butt of a joke in front of everyone and probably had a big impact on my image with the rest of her family. Believe me, I know a joke when I hear one and this wasn’t for the laughs, it was malicious.

I don’t respect her uncles in the least as they’re bitter old pricks with college degrees they never used but never stop talking about, but I took this personally as I worked hard to get to where I am and I’m PROUD I got this job.

Eventually the entire thing went sour after that when her sister butted in fueling the fire against me and my girlfriend told me how her mom had this big smile on her face as my reputation was getting torn at the whole time.

My girlfriend was left in tears by her family that night.

I’m thinking that things have finally crossed the line. I’ve tried to stay on good terms with them but it is simply not working. How do I deal with behavior like this, as I’ve done NOTHING for them to hate me, and now it’s reaching as far as my career, and ultimately, life decisions becoming the target of attacks at family get-togethers?

Using Fluther

or

Using Email

Separate multiple emails with commas.
We’ll only use these emails for this message.