The Jelly Below Me, # 49!

TJBM wants to thank @ibstubro for his on the ballness? Is that a word, well now it is!

Yea , ibstubro has a lot of chutzpah !
The jelly below is alwys right !
=)

Not always. lol

TJBM noticed the elephant left the room

nope
TJBM needs to do something else.

Nope, relaxing before bedtime

TJBM loves Siamese cats

Yes! I love all cats. The TJBM below me likes old movies.

I can’t believe they are doing a sequel to It’s A Wonderful Life! I love old movies.

TJBM can’t get over how awesome they feel.

I feel like a newborn. A newborn “verklempt”: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=verklempt

Anger maybe but not all emotion .
TJBM has a dog named Tuffy McThunder .
=)

True. Or I’ll name my next one that?

—crap, @lx102303. You’re a calming influence on me.

Maybe so . . .
TJBM voted for Ross Perot while in disguise .
=)

False,Canadian remember?
TJBM has no idea that our west coast summers here in BC can get very hot,like weeks of 100f degree weather.

False .
TJBM once postured aggressively with a pink embroidered hanky !
=)

True. TJBM even picked it up for me at the Halloween party that time;)

Right. When was that again?

TJBM needs to go to bed.

I must agree , the TJBM has insomnia ,
=)

Not usually, but oh man, last Friday night I bought a giant Cappuccino, 16 oz. and drank it around 5:30 pm. I couldn’t get to sleep until 4 a.m. it sucked, I kept thinking “WTF is WRONG with me” and then remembered the coffee. Never again, it was horrible. lol

TJBM will say “Goodnight” to me now goodnight…zzzzzz

Yes, it was a big mistake to partake of coffee. Goodnight and have a nice warm sleep.
TJBM doesn’t want to go out because the awful weather is putting him/her off going out.

Until I discovered Lisa would be there…

TJBM thinks frogs are pets.

There was no need to mark out the format of the game as you did, didn’t the fact that this is #49 in an on-going series give you a hint as to users familiarity with the concept?

No, they’re not pets.
TJBM has all but finished their xmas shopping.

Yes I have. 3 more things to buy and I’m done. All wrapping is done too.

TJBM can’t stand to be wrong and would rather argue ridiculously than admit they are wrong.

Giggles

Recovered from bout of giggling

No, never & I am unanimous in that!
TJBM wears a tattoo on their left butt cheek & is lying if they say no.

How could you possibly know that, @ucme? Oh wait—it’s hard to miss an elephant’s bum, even from across the pond.

TJBM loves cloudy mornings, rainy days and thunderstormy nights.

Absolutely! There is nothing that can get my adrenaline going like a great light show with cracks and booms!TJBM thought he was faster than me

False. I bowed to your interloption.

TJBM makes words up a lot.

Not a lot. Long ago I got a kick from calling people Mcdorkasauruses if they got on my nerves.
TJBM saw Dorothy and Toto on their way by this week.

Tralse. I DID stand at the patio door and say squeal aloud “Aunty Em! Aunty Em!!” because if the debris flying by at 80 MPH, but there were no little girls or puppies harmed.

TJBM knows what ‘durndles’ are.

No. No, I do not.

TJBM wants to know what “durndles” are.

True! Well, maybe. Sometimes Stu scares me.
I was worried about you though, when all these nadoes spun through. Glad you’re okay.
TJBM is also glad we didn’t lose Calvin to the deep raspy throat of Wind.

True. Calvin wanted to fly a kite, Hobbes had the good sense to put a stop to that. Durdles is another word for raisins, don’t ask me why.

TJBM wishes they could fly south for the winter.

No I don’t, i’m not a fucking goose!
TJBM is a goose & layed a golden egg not 5mins ago, I heard the screaming from here.

Haha….no more egg laying for me, but my one precious egg did hatch into a golden child.

TJBM is fresh outta eggs

Tralse. I have eggs in the fridge right now, but I’m sure they’re bad because I so seldom use them.

TJBM is slow today.

@Coloma You’re Eddie Murphy’s Mom!?! Get right outta town!

Yes! I’m actually moving in reverse today. That’s how slow I am!

TJBM secretly listens to Justin Beiber.

False! Michael Buble I’ll cop to, but I’m not a Belieber!

TJBM knows every word of the Green Acres theme song.

I’ve no idea what the hell Green Acres even is.
TJBM definitely has a belly button & will also tell us if it’s an innie or an outtie.

It’s an innie.

TJBM collects belly button lint and makes cat toys out of it

Eww, no way Pedro Jose.
TJBM does however collect ear wax & fashions tiny little models of the cast of The Brady Bunch out of the stuff.

I have tape over my webcam lens, how did you spot my display case?
TJBM was married to TJAM in another life.

This is true, I fucking love myself see.
TJBM Eats at least once a day by using their mouths mostly

True, mouths are the best body part to eat with but I suppose you could take your nourishment via suppositories.

TJBM has an enema bag

Not in any lifetime.
@ibstubro, I couldn’t sing Green Acres off the cuff, but when I watch, I can sing along with it. My daughter knows all the words too.
TJBM has a secret portal to another dimension.

Yes, I crawled up the crack of Uranus, bad atmosphere :(
TJBM loves to eat the hole in their donuts

You guys were busy last night.

@ucme Is that all you think about is sex? sigh

TJBM knows one can not eat a hole.

@Dutchess_III Nowt sexy about planets & donuts ya sick bugger sigh
TJBM played twister recently & lost…badly.

On xbox, and very badly. @ucme, can’t BELIEVE you didn’t hop on that “can’t eat a hole” remark!
TJBM has someone visiting for Thanksgiving they wish wouldn’t.

@Jonesn4burgers I need better feed lines, can’t get the staff these days.

False. I’m going to visit someone for Thanksgiving that wishes I wouldn’t. lol

TJBM drinks a lot of pop.

True! I’m a coke-head.
TJBM eats frogs legs.

No, but I did once give a French girl a foot massage.
TJBM is so looking forward to xmas they might just explode.

False, I keep it low key, looking forward to seeing my daughter but otherwise I am not attached to the holidays.

TJBM thinks Xmas is over rated and prefers to just enjoy some good food, exchange a couple gifts and keep is simple

False. That’s a little over the top for me, @Coloma

TJBM likes fruitcake.

True but only during the Christmas Holidays.
TJBM would really love an espresso martini

False. But I do like the Fruitcake lady!

TJBM likes odd smells.

True, goose breath and horse poo and my old riding boots. lol

TJBM thinks fruitcake should be outlawed and that eating it is a sign of mental illness.

oops. Sorry @SQUEEKY2…

Agreed! Outlaw the suckers!

TJBM wonders why anyone even makes fruitcakes when they’ve been a disaster since the day they were invented.

False. I ate a bite of a fruitcake, once, that didn’t make me upchuck.

TJBM giggled at the word upchuck.

No…it just brings to mind a wood chuck coming up…

TJBMはクレイジーです！

あなたはクレイジー1だ!
TJBM thinks @Dutchess_III and I have flipped our lids.

Yes, yes we have.

TJBMはクレイジーはコチラホッ’を保つものであることを知っている！

False. Fou se kòm fou fè

TJBM knows a really cool Haiku.

And also I was a 2nd degree yellow in Tai Kwon Do when I was in my 20’s, so yeah.

TJAM フォレストガンプのように話す

TJAM are all part of a cabal whereas TJBM believes in alien conspiracies .

Don’t be silly. I only believe in domestic conspiracies, like FEMA.

TJBM had a recent, brief, funny encounter with a total stranger.

False. A total stranger has a brief, funny encounter with me, nearly every time I leave the house.

TJBM Would call the law if the neighbor’s were having a loud dispute that sounded ugy.

Ugy? Hmmm. I might, I might not.

TJBM doesn’t know how to swim.

I can’t swim well, just enough to stay afloat.

TJBM doesn’t like sex.

False. It doesn’t consume my every thought though.

TJBM needs to reboot their computer.

False, it’s running like a charm.

TJBM is getting hungry for lunch

FALSE. I JUST DID that!

TJBM is a psychotic psychic.

I knew you were going to say that. Now I have to destroy you.

TJBM wants to just leave the dogs outside.

False I am bohemian rhapsody in the flesh

Oops..dueling Duchess beats me to it.

False…no, no dogs here.

The Dingos ate TJBM’s lunch

No , the cat did !
TJBM has a pimple with hypnotic powers . 0_O

False! I have beautiful skin, luckily I never was pimple prone after about age 14. lol

TJBM loves Tigers

Yes , I must surely do admire these wonderful creatures !
TJBM was seen on TV tossing tear-gas canisters back at the police .

Boy, THAT was an old clip you were watching! 1979 to be exact. Only…IT WASN’T ME!!! I didn’t do nothing but run and yell!

TJBM has been in an unexpected riot before.

TJAM – lol
Why , yes , yes I have but it wasn’t my fault (this time) .
TJBM is cool !
=)

False. I have zee sweats on!

TJBM thinks a psychotic break means we’re ½ way to lunch.

No, it’s when you hit pause half way through Psycho coz you need a pee.
TJBM is currently using internet…wisely.

Yes , I do but I do a lot of surfing .
TJBM thinks that this thread is interesting .

Oh, sew, sew. It has it’s moments! ;)

TJBM is well preserved for all the jams they’ve been in!

Yes , that and thanks to the miracle of modern preservatives .
TJBM once had a disagreement with a pacifist .

Not me, but I did once frown at a nun, she had such a dirty habit.
TJBM sucks up spaghetti like a big daft kid, never mind all that fork twirling.

Good heavens no!

TJBM thinks the reason one’s pinkie sticks out when having a beverage, is to have a place to hang their empties.

Nah, it’s so you can pick your nose like a multitasking hobo.
TJBM likes the theme tune to The Littlest Hobo & is indeed humming it as they speak type.

No, I am singing “Ma Nem A Nem,” from Sesame Street and will be doing so all damn day long and it’s Seek’s fault!

TJBM will have Ma Nem A Nem stuck in their head for the rest of the day.

YEAH. THANKS A HEAP!

TJBM always has been a trouble maker. lol

In a nice, quiet, polite sort of way. As the mods well know. ;)

TJBM doesn’t consider meat to be the main part of a dinner.

True.

TJBM is @Jonesn4burgers !

???????????? The only other part is beverage. Of course it’s the main part.
TJAM is a brat!

TJBM likely is too.

Yes, I am. The other day my husband grilled pork chops, corn on the cob and jalapeno poppers. I ate the corn and about 6 of the poppers and put the chop away in the fridge for lunch the next day.

TJBM LOVES jalapeno poppers!

Yes !
TJBM faints when they see a monster on TV .

No. I just hurry away. I don’t like a lot of TV shows- or movies.

TJBM lets their kids collect bugs and helps them figure out how to keep them alive.

True .
TJBM once had a dream about bugs .

Nope, not that I remember. :)

TJBM has eaten a bug.

Once , it was a gnat .
TJBM was once wondering what happened .

Yeah, for about 3 months. Never did figure it all out, either.

TJBM is heating up left over jalapeno poppers for lunch!

Nope, but I love those!

TJBM likes spicy food.

No, actually. My husband very carefully removes the seeds for me. The seeds are what are hot.

TJBM has saved a life once.

Yes , my own ,
TJBM once misspelled the word onomatopoeia .

In fact, I’m pretty sure I did that just today. Didn’t have spell check on the messaging system I was on in Words With Friends.

TJBM is sometimes a contradiction.

Yes , frequently .
TJBM loves doughnuts .

True! Jelly, chocolate frosted, glazed = yum!

TJBM watches The X Factor.

I used to until it started to give me nightmares !
TJBM thought that when their toy robot broke it was a sign of the robot rebellion .
=)

Um…never had a toy robot. haha

TJBM thinks my goose is fowlishly handsome

I’ll have to take your word on that .
TJBM is wanted by INTERPOL .

False, as far as I know anyway. lol

@lx102303 That’s Marwyn in my avatar, are you blinded by his light? haha

TJBM is blinded by the light

No, just by age.

TJBM did something thoughtless this week and is dieing to talk about it so they can feel better.

Hmmmm…........nope. My life is boring any more.

TJBM is stuffed.

Indeed! I had a late lunch of empress chicken. I shoulda stopped midway through.
TJBM is prettier than me, and I’m so jealous.

False, infact I really need to go out and take a walk, but it’s raining and I am not motivated.

TJBM is not motivated

True. And it sucks. Having enough money to live on can certainly unmotivate a person. But we’ll see what the next couple of months bring. :)

TJBM likes the way their house is decorated.

Very true,Mrs Squeeky does a great job.
TJBM likes 4X4 trucks.

Not particularly. Unless I’m in a bad spot off road.

TJBM wishes the new cars had the kind of room the old cars had.

False. I hate driving big vehicles.

TJBM smells delicious.

depends on who’s asking.
TJBM wants a new life.

No. I just want to tweek the one I have.

TJBM is about to log off for the evening.

False. It is only 2:48 on the dreary west coast, I have hours to go before I sleep, but only a couple til cocktail hour. lol

TJBM needs a kick in the ass

Um, yeah, do.

Sometimes the memories, even the good ones really hurt TJBM

False. I’m a no regrets, glass half full kinda guy. Even when people die, I’ve learned to turn that stab of pain when you ”see” them somewhere into a smile. It keeps them with you.

TJBM has a morbid fascination with ear hair.

No, I was only staring at yours because I never saw such a crop before.
TJBM just felt a chill down their spine.

True. I thought is was your cool breath as you bent to kiss my arse.

TJBM has kissed a toad, trying to make a prince.

Yes! I do it every day, hoping just once it will work!

TJBM will kiss toads too!

False!

I might infect them with herpes or something;)

TJBM likes to run around the house in nothing but nylons…

Nylons? Nylons? No.

TJBM likes evenings alone.

Yes , I do .
TJBM likes to try their humor routine with puppies as an audience at the pet store .

False. Pet stores depress me.

TJBM talks to themselves out loud. But do they do it in front of others?

Not in front of others no. haha

TJBM is very aware always noticing subtleties

Yes , subtitles & subtleties !
TJBM , as a character in a cartoon strip , had an “out of frame” experience that they would like to share with us .

Uh, maybe back in about 1977 on some amazing windowpane acid. I don’t remember. lol
I did have a great trip stuck up in a treehouse though. haha

TJBM has tried psychedelics

Why , no , no I haven’t and I don’t know what LSD is either – lol Just kidding . 0_O
TJBM needs a compliment .

I just got one. My client told me that ” I am so funny”...yes well..humor is everything in this insane world of ours.

TJBM agrees

True Humor in my opinion is very important.
TJBM would like to think they have a sense of humor.

Think. THINK? What you talkin bout, Willis?

TJBM snorts every time they see Caffeine Free Diet Mt. Dew.

Who knew there was a market for artificially sweetened HORSE PEE??

@ibstubro , lol !
Yes , I’m skeptical about the ‘virtues’ of advertised products .
TJBM thinks that life isn’t all that bad !
=)

True, but then again, I am being severely challenged right now, from riches to near rags. Pfft!

TJBM has been on both sides of every fence there is

True. Bittersweet

TJBM has had a full life and is convinced that will serve them.

not yet.
TJBM misses winamp

No , not really because I never used it .
TJBM is addicted to Rorschach ink-blots .

Is there a way to be addicted to Rorschach ink-blots?

Shhhh! @ibstubro is asleep

I don’t think so. I hope not, anyway!

TJBM knows what it’s like to work on a mental health ward.

No , not really . – lol
TJBM is yawning .

Now I am, thanks for that subliminal suggestion. lol

TJBM drinks lots of water

Not a lot. I drink a lot of iced tea though.

TJBM’s favorite holiday is Halloween.

It was when I was a kid. Then for a long time it was Easter, until it got too commercial. Now I guess it’s Thanksgiving. Time together without all the frenetic expenditure of money.

TJBM has lot of family pictures on the wall.

False. I don’t like hanging photographs, I like art. I used to have some up years ago when my daughter was small but not anymore.

TJBM loves art of all kinds, painting, sculpture, pottery, glass, metal

I do, but I don’t know art. I can’t name styles, artists, eras.
TJBM won’t drink anything at a restaurant without a straw.

False. I only use straws in the case of frozen margaritas.

TJBM is a little slow on the draw today.

False, ice water and coffee are strawless drinks. haha @ibstubro You’re lagging bud, wheres the TJBM? Okay…allow me to step up to the straw. lol

TJBM has a fetish for mood lighting

I don’t know if it’s a fetish, but I do have a thing for lighting, and cool lamps and candles and stuff.

TJBM is constantly rearranging things in their house for aesthetic (or practical) reasons.

Nope.
TJBM has participated in at least half of the 49 “episodes” of this question.

Most likely but I haven’t been counting.

TJBM likes Cheerios

False. They’re bland and I don’t eat breakfast cereal. Well, maybe snack on frosted shredded wheat.

TJBM has offered help to a stranger in the past week.

True-ish. It’s part of my job description to be helpful. Does that count?

TJBM has eaten yellow snow.

Of course not! That’s gross!

TJBM has eaten non-food things in the past.

True! I ate Play Doh once. lol

TJBM will do anything on a dare.

Um, no. lol

TJBM is annoyed in the moment

Yes , but just for the moment .
TJBM is always right .

Thanks! ;-)

TJBM still has carbon paper.

False, but I have sucked sea snails out of their shells in asia with a beer chaser. lol

TJBM needs to get moving!

Yes I do. I need to cook dinner, but I need to log out of Fluther first!

TJBM is a hardcore porn star.

Haha..well…I had my day, but not on film.

TJBM has gotta run now

TRUE! Well, in another minute….

TJBM has too much stuff.

True! And I hate throwing things away.

TJBM hasn’t eaten lunch yet.

TRUE. I’m thinking about waiting until I go to town later.

TJBM used to smoke stuff.

Long, long time ago, I can still remember how that…stuff used to make me giggle. ;)

TJBM is ready to go back to work.

No! Hell no! My day off went way too fast!

TJBM likes to mow the lawn in their birthday suit.

No. Why would I do that??

TJBM wonders where people come up with their crazy questions!

True!! lol

TJBM thinks peanut butter goes with everything.

False. I do not like peanut butter with jelly. Well, unless it’s seedless black raspberry jam. I used to be a carnivore and I still can’t stand the thought of eating those harmless little berries with the seeds in them. It’s too much like fruit.

TJBM wishes they were The Jelly Beside Me, instead.

Uh , sure .
¡ uʍop ǝpᴉsdn sᴉ Wqſ┴

How did you do THAT?!?
TJBM is ticklish,

Upsidedowntext
Yes , I am .
TJBM is a professional Western movie background crosser .

False, I rebuffed all appeals to be a professional Western movie background—crossdresser- crosser.

!siht nrael ot delkcit si MBJT

Yes, you are soo talented! Thank you!

TJBM likes marshmallows on their hot chocolate.

Yes , I do !
ⓉⒿⒷⓂ ⓢⓟⓔⓐⓚⓢ ⓘⓝ ⓣⓐⓛⓚ ⓑⓐⓛⓛⓞⓞⓝⓢ !

False, but I damned well better be able to within the next 10 minutes!

Privately. There are some things that should be judiciously applied. lol

TJBM says “OH, CRAP!” a lot.

Oh Crap!

TJBM thinks www.engrish.com is extremely funny if not PC

TJAM thinks the TJBM is cool !

Why yes, yes I do! lol

TJBM thinks they are a Kangaroo

LOL ! Coloma is cool !
No , although I’ve been known to be “hopping mad” sometimes but not very often .
TJBM loves sunshine and moon shine !

I’m more a fan of overcast days than sunshine. We get over 300 days of sunny weather here in Phoenix and that’s too many, in my opinion. Moonshine is cool in a groovy sort of way.

TJBM likes folk music and believes in the merits of ‘flower power’.

Yes , I do .
TJBM was a hippie at Woodstock .

Not quite, but I was a 70’s girl. Bohemian hippie chick with class. Still am. :-)

TJBM is a hippie at heart, nature loving, country living, gimme space type

nope
TJBM hates being in prayer circles.

No , not really .
TJBM has question marks that often hover above their head .

I don’t, but sometimes a lightbulb pings up there when a good idea crosses my mind.
TJBM considers themselves part of the furniture…

Yes , as an inanimate object I have very little feeling unless polished and then I can pretend that someone cares .
TJBM has a photograph that has eyes that follow you around the room ..

False but that sounds really cool,where can I get one?
TJBM likes doing doughnuts with their car.

I do! When I was teaching the kids to drive, I’d make a point of taking them to the empty high school parking lot on an icy, snowy day. Under the guise of showing them how to make corrections while driving on ice, I’d demonstrate, several times, what happens when you hit the brakes and crank the wheel. Kinda freaked the kids out, after about th 5th but it was fun, and I figured I had a good excuse if a cop questioned why I was doing donuts from one end of the parking lot to the other! And then I let the kids take the wheel to have a go at it.

TJBM filled out a job application today.

No , not today .
TJBM is overly-concerned about spontaneous combustion .

LOL….I wish I would spontaneously combust, my stress level must be at critical mass right about now. Poof! without a trace.

TJBM woke up with a headache

No, but I’m getting one now. I should have somethijng to eat.
TJBM gtets so busy they forget to eat.

True! Like now! It is 10:45 on the west coast and I MUST eat soon!

TJBM lives on the west coast

No, east coast of Englandtown.
TJBM talks to themselves while driving & sometimes pretends to be on a secret mission like they do in them movies.

True ,but I am a truck driver,with countless hours behind the wheel.
TJBM wonders what the traffic looks like behind the wheel of a transport truck.

Yes, it looks like Dennis Weaver shitting himself in Duel.
TJBM thinks truck drivers are hairy arsed bastards, but look cute in denim underwear.

False. Denim is too sturdy to be cute underwear. Truckers are cute in silk—panties- boxers.

TJBM Wants to share a fetish with us.

Oh go on then, I sometimes wear silk knickers but only because they look funny when I fart.
TJBM is firmly of the opinion that Mickey Rooney simply refuses to die until Daffy Duck is in the White House

That , is so true . Daffy Duck , US President ; has a nice ring to it , yes , no ?
TJBM has unresolved issues .

No, I don’t think so. I know what pisses me off, and why and I’m OK with that.

TJMB wants to know exactly what is meant by “unresolved issues.” It could change my answer, maybe!

False. I think if you have ‘issues’ with anything, that thing will forever remain unresolved? Death is the great resolver, regardless your beliefs!

TJBM is curious whether Mickey Rooney or Don Rickles is older.

False. I think their both pushing up daisies now anyway, aren’t they?

TJBM is pushing up daisies

lol @Coloma , you ‘kill’ me !
TJBM is trying to re-qualify as a virgin ,

Not on your life! I seek perfection!

TJBM thinks credit cards are all that and a bag of chips.

No , both have a tendency to be frequently empty .
TJBM feels that misfortune singles them out .

No, not really. I’ve had crappy stuff happen to me, but I manage to remember all the good stuff too, which balances things out, really.

TJBM is having a helluva time figuring out what to get people for Christmas.

True but I plan to finish all my Christmas shopping on Black Friday.

TJBM hasn’t started Christmas shopping yet.

I’m perpetually done, as I don’t participate in Christmas.

TJBM is an Idiot.

No. Only have 3 more to buy.

TJBM is an idiot

Let’s go with “NO” or “FALSE” on this one. I’m not perfect but I’m not that far gone either.

TJBM does not believe in Darwin’s theory of evolution.

It is not something to be believed or disbelieved. I accept the evidence that supports the theory.

The Idiot Jelly Below Me is doing most of their gift shopping on Amazon this year.

Ⓝⓞ ⓦⓐⓨ● Ⓐⓜⓐⓩⓞⓝ ⓚⓘⓛⓛⓔⓓ Ⓐⓢⓚⓥⓘⓛⓛⓔ ⓣⓞⓞ ⓐⓑⓡⓤⓟⓣⓛⓨ!

TJBM eats peas with a fork.

No. I don’t believe in peas.

TJBM wonders what Ⓝⓞ ⓦⓐⓨ● Ⓐⓜⓐⓩⓞⓝ ⓚⓘⓛⓛⓔⓓ Ⓐⓢⓚⓥⓘⓛⓛⓔ ⓣⓞⓞ ⓐⓑⓡⓤⓟⓣⓛⓨ! actually MEANS!

TJBY *knows it’s English in bubbles. “No way. Amazon killed…”

TJBM thinks only communist pinkos don’t believe in fresh or frozen peas.

Kinda , since you can’t trust thos Russkis !
TJBM thinks that those who sue others is sue-perstitious . (Poor Spell-check!)

F̢̡̥̮a͔̘̮͜l̢͎̠͇s̱͈̘̺e̥͚̠̲.̧̝̦̙ ̟̖̰̦ ̤̺͖̦M̞̩̙͓a̻̳̲̼y̨͇̦̭b̨̬̼̤e̢͓ͅͅ ̢̙̤̖s̨͚͇̣t̯̼̺̭u̬̖̰̣p̨̝͕̬i͕̦͇̩d͔͙͚͜-̢̡͈͚s̡̤͜ͅt͎̦̳̜i̡̗̗̲t͙͓͕̘i͙̩͔ͅo̤̺̜̭ų̖͔̹s̠͎͍͎,̳̫̻ͅ ̧̗̘͙ḅ̡͓͎u͈̞͚͜t͇͕̩͓ ̫̫̞͍t̩̣̠̩h̢̦͚̝ą̮̩̪ṭ̜̲̪’͖̝͎̜s̱͔̖̫ ̢̮͙̲j̢̢̙̣u̜̬̠̰ş̝͚ͅt̞̜̱̥ ̮̖̥͜ḑ̺̺̟u̖̯̩͇m̜̟̫ͅb̨̺̗ͅ.̨͙͉̠

TJBM thinks turtles make good pets.

False. I like turtles but they are a lot of work to keep them healthy and happy, gimme a goose or a cat please.

TJBM has a pet Donkey

@lx102303 Haha…sue-perstitious

No , but I saw one on TV one time .
TJBM has an unfulfilled wish .

Sigh True. I’m still not Bill Gates. Damned Genii.

TJBM would rather eat lick smell see think about a hairball than watch an episode of “I Dream of Jeannie”.

I’d rather see Barbara Eden any day !
TJBM thinks that cruel and unusual punishment is to have to watch “The Lawrence Welk Show” .

Oh so very true!

TJBM is cursing TJAM for even mentioning Lawrence Welk Now I am thinking of his damn goodnight song…aaagh, make it stop!

@Coloma lol Please don’t do that ! I guess that Lawrence Welk is your Kryptonite ? I’m sorry for bringing up something so terrible ! I never liked LW either .
TJBM is looking forward to Thanksgiving .

maybe, but then again I do have my orange fever shots ready.
TJBM avoids certain towns because of a certain school that they hate.

False. I never hated school. Well, Jr. High a bit.

TJBM loves to zing!

What’s zinging?

TJBM knows I am a joker :-p

True, he does.

TJBM love the camp and sweet fun of this.

ugg,uh NO
TJBM would like to get more exercise .

Yes , I would because I need to lose a few pounds .
TJBM likes to be both naughty and nice .

Sort of. I do like to play harmless practical jokes on people.

TJBM wears a wig.

False, I have great hair

TJBM has great hair

Once upon a time…
TJBM once mugged Santa Claus .

False, but I Beavernapped a beaver statue and held it for ransom. haha

TJBM thinks Beavers are very cute

Not really. But I have nothing against them.

TJBM has buck teeth! (or did until you got braces)

False, but I did have one fang and a retainer. haha

TJBM must be off to beddy bye now Good night, sleep tight, until we meet again….

Yes, I’m about falling over.

TJBM will be @ibstubro.

No, thank god!

TJBM is going to have a bad day.

Will the real @ibstubro please stand up.

@ibstubro is asleep! Shhhhh!

I have no intention of having a bad day. I have too much to do to bother with that nonsense.

TJBM needs a haircut.

True, I do!

TJBM is going to take a drive somewhere beautiful today

Well sorta true we are going to see some family members today and do lunch.
TJBM thinks highway maintenance does a worse job than the year before at snow clearing.

NOPE. Our snow removal teams are wizards.
TJBM thought “Oh no, Mr. Wizard”, when they saw the word wizard.

Nope. I thought ‘Aunty Em, Aunty Em!’

TJBM has never seen a Judy Garland movie other than “The Wizard of Oz”.

Absolutely true. That’s the only one I saw her in and she was terrific.

TJBM has read and enjoys classic literature such as Tolstoy, Dickens, Steinbeck, and others.

True, although I was dragged kicking and screaming through part of it. I quit college the last semester of an English degree.

TJBM has toe jam.

With peanut butter on bread. (yucky)

TJBM is a whiz when it comes to handy man stuff.

False. If I can’t fix it with string, super glue or duct tape I call a handyman. lol

TJBM has a gardener

Pa-lease. I maintain 5 acres of weeds.

TJBM would love to have a goat.

I have had goats, they are very fun critters. My goat was a Nubian named Chevis. I have also gone goat packing, loads of fun. Let the goats pack in the beer and hummus. lol

TJBM has gone goat or llama packing

False, but I DO have a desire for a goat. My S/O has given me a definite, No. I have plenty of yard, but it would be expensive to fence. I nixed the chickens! :-P

TJBM carries most all insects that get in the house back outside.

True! I respect all life and love insects.

@ibstubro Clearly you are with the wrong woman. lol

TJBM would love to retire in an idyllic county/mountain property and have all kinds of animals, orchards, vineyards

True! And a property manager, gardener, and pond boy. If I could live the rest of my life with a view of the Grand Canyon, I would die happy. If I had a hut in Hawaii, I would die happy. I might die happy if I was a resident of the glorious little town of Flagstaff. Oh what I wouldn’t give for some of this.

TJBM wishes TJAT would shut up already.

False. I could talk about fantasies all day. lol

TJBM is having a splendid dinner right now

Just arrived at work a few minutes ago but I had a splendid dinner earlier in the evening.

TJBM is a good tipper when he/she dines out at a restaurant.

TRUE. I secretly add bucks to other people’s “I got the tip!” offerings all the time.

TJBM thinks bats are cool

Very true! I used to have bats fly into my house all the time and would just turn off the lights and open the french doors off of my master bedroom til they found their way out again.

TJBM has had a pet bitten by a rattlesnake my cat survived a bite in July of 2012 from a monster under my deck.

False. I’ve often tried to find a rattlesnake to eat, but never seen a rattlesnake bite.

TJBM loves spinach!

Yes.

TJBM itches somewhere and can’t reach it.

I got it covered. We bought little rakes for 2 of our little grandkids for Christmas. We may not ever give them to them though. :)

TJBM wishes they could stay in bed alllll day and not feel guilty.

I’ve laid there long enough. Time to move!

TJBM eats the core along with the apple.

False but I know people who do.
TJBM really needs an Espresso right now.

No, just a giant glass of milk!

TJBM is on a mission to lose 10 pounds by Tuesday.

False. My shoulders would look funny with nothing sitting on them.

TJBM is making their signature dish for Thanksgiving.

Not this year. First time ever that all of the kids have to work or other plans! That would make me sad if it happened often, but it’s kind of a relief right now.

TJBM always has or goes to a HUGE Thanksgiving with family.

True, but not my family. They’re too dysfunctional to maintain even small groups.

TJBM was scared the ‘under toad’ would get them when they went swimming as a child.

Under Toad? LOLOL

False, I was a regular little dolphin baby, I could out swim even the fastest toad.

TJBM is waiting on an Avocado to ripen to perfection

Nah. bought the pre-mixed guacomole:)

TJBM is watching football and cooking wings for halftime…

False. I am getting ready to shower and go see the new :Hunger Games” flick at 12:20.

TJBM is going to see Hunger Games

False. I don’t remember the last time I was in a theater.

TJBM loves cold slop.

I do, as long as I’m not out in it.

TJBM actually likes the Chiefs this year.

not a Chiefs fan
TJBM wants a pet turtle.

No. I had my turtle year when I was 12.

TJBM thinks this is awesome. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3U4kxuBfIo

True! She is amazing!

TJBM wants a pet goose or duck

False. I don’t really want a pet. Besides, I just finished reading a book where the little kids were always getting bitten my a goose or gander.

TJBM is a fainter at the site of human blood.

No. I would have never survived my son’s childhood if I was.

TJBM hopes The Man gets their act together as far as marijuana is concerned.

I’m down with that, Momma. Peace.

TJBM has eaten ‘greens’ and found them satisfying.

True. I used to walk around my property and eat Miners Lettice, wild Sorrel and Clover with my geese. lol

TJBM knows many parts of a pine cone are edible

Many? Wow!

TJBM likes smoothies.

Yes! Rasberry please.
TJBM thinks winter sucks

If it wasn’t for Xmas & snowball fights, then yeah, it kinda does.
TJBM blows on hot food before they eat it.

Occasionally and never in the company of others.

TJBM knows that grasshoppers spit tobacco juice.

True, but only if they are eating tobacco, otherwise it could be apple spit or dandelion spit or grass spit.

TJBM wishes they could sleep another 3 hours

It’s only a wish
TJBM has heard that turntable.fm is dead.

I have never heard of it before.

TJBM has heard of a site called StumbledOn, but has never checked it out.

I have StumbledOn. I stumbled away before it ate every speck of internet usage I’m allowed. VERY cool, addictive site.

TJBM has kicked up their heels lately.

Um…no. Too cold!

TJBM makes up their own mind, often independently of the herd.

Very true, fuck the herd, they’ll have you running over cliffs with them. lol

TJBM wants a pet Wildebeast

I already have one. His name is Rick.

TJBM just wants to be WARM!

True! 14* here today. My feets are c-c-cold:(

TJBM is fixing bean soup and cornbread for dinner!

Oh, that sounds so good!!! What time are we eating?

TJBM is always late.

Not if I can help it.

TJBM hates going to the doctor

Well not as much as I hate going to the Dentist.
TJBM Thinks coffee is a wonder drink.

I do like it a lot, but I only allow myself a chance to drink it every once in a while.

TJBM likes camping.

Used to a lot,but sold the RV,and haven’t replaced it.
TJBM needs more time off.

No.

TJBM likes roughing it in the woods with NO camper, just a tent, or tarp.

Not me. Not any longer. I’ll take my creature comforts.

TJBM is very thrifty.

I count every penny twice.

The jelly below me likes peanut butter.

Oh I do,I do like peanutbutter.
TJBM marvels at how easy transport drivers can back into tight places with their trucks.

True, I’d never make it, left handed, right brained blonde at the wheel. backing up a trailer terrifies me. Fuck that! lol

TJBM is an expert parallel parker

Funny you should mention it. I’ve been a spotty parallel parker all my life. About a month-6 weeks agO I mentioned that to a friend. She said she could show me. Since then (all but once) I have been the God of parparing.

TJBM is a nut cracker.

True, from Brazil nuts to my ex husband, no nut is safe with this cracker.

TJBM is afraid of suspension bridges

False. I’m not a-scartt of any bridge that hold me up land-to-land, and I’d be dead if one didn’t!

TJBM makes a mean BBQ rib.

No. I’ll leave that to the meat freaks. I’m not even fond of BBQ ribs,

TJBM loves veggies!

True. I’m a vegetarian that eats seafood. I also cook a mean hog rib.

TJBM is a contradiction.

Treu, I’ve always lived in the gray zone. Half social butterfly, half hermit, half pacifist half vigilante, liberally liberal and conservatively conservative. lol

TJBM is a creature of extremes

No. My husband is, I’m not. I’ve been in extremes in my life, but that was against my wishes. But I fielded them just fine.

TJBM likes routine.

Tralse. Routine is comforting, upheaval is exciting. Yin and yang.

TJBM eats oysters and loves them.

Bleh…false! I do not like clams or oysters at all. No matter how good the Clam chowder there is always sand in it. Eeeek..I can hear my teeth crunching on grains of sand.

TJBM has had deep fried string beans Oh man, just has them at a brunch last weekend, served with a spicey Chipolte dressing. Yum!

True. I recently saw (but was unable to taste) asparagus, too!

TJBM says WTF?

Uh…yes, WTF? 0-o

TJBM can’t believe how many fruitcakes actually believe their own bullshit?

True, that. The world is filled with them.

TJBM can’t believe how many fruitcakes believe the fruitcakes that actually believe their own bullshit!

VERY true all one has to do is look at the Republican party to see that.
TJBM Thinks Canada is just snow and igloos.

False. Canada is beautiful, and has the most Mountain Lion attacks. lol

TJBM loves Mountain Lions and does not want them hunted

Yes , I don’t like the idea of these beautiful creatures being hunted for sport .
TJBM is already thinking about Thanksgiving .

I must be, just asked a question about it.
TJBM thinks pumpkin pie is, well…yuck!

It isn’t my favorite, but my kid loves it, so Sometimes we get a frozen one. I love dutch apple with french vanilla ice cream Get my UN on.
TJBM has gone streaking sometime.

I agree ! I’ve never cared for any form of pumpkin as a pie or dish !
TJBM has a way of ‘beating’ the crowd on Black Friday .

I have, in past. I can beat TJAM :)
TJBM is stomping and sputtering.

No, but I could very easily, someone is driving me nuts the last couple of days. breathe in, breathe out. lol

TJBM tries to keep a sense of humor with annoying people

Yes, I give them two black eyes & call them panda face!
TJBM has at least one cuddly animal on their bed right now.

True, 2. My siamese cat ” Mia” is on the bed and my monster ragdoll “Myles” is eating in the laundry room. Takes a lotta food to maintain his svelte 17lb. figure. lol

TJBM has a huge cat not fat, just huge

Like this wittle boy?

TJBM is allergic to turkey.

I’m not sure , but I’ll find out this Thursday .
TJBM writes poetry .

Uh, no.

TJBM wonders why Fluther and FB seem to just shut down at this time every day.

Well, it’s 5 O’clock Somewhere.

TJBM is fluent in more than one language.

True, I speak goose, cat, horse and parrot very fluently.

TJBM is having a deeelicious cold beer after work right now

False. Beer now bloats me up so bad I rarely drink it. I might have a cocktail later, though. ;)

TJBM has fainted dead away before.

Yes , from loss of blood .
TJBM lives in fear of the dreaded “Lightning Bug” .

Oh, heck no. When I was a kid, we’d kill lightening bugs with impunity and smear them on our bare skin with wild abandon.

TJBM has swam in the Great Lakes.

No , I’ve never swam in the Great Lakes but I did swim in a creek below a massive Oak tree though .
TJBM has a Tinker Bell tattoo .

False, but..I have a purple morning glory on my right ankle.

TJBM wants a green duck tattoo with a diamond necklace

Why , yes I do ! Where , oh where , could I find one ; pray tell ?
TJBM has already eaten a slice of pie that was reserved for the Thanksgiving table .

False, but they were giving out free pie samples at the grocery yesterday.

TJBM has seen a live bug today. What kind?

False, it is only 7:19 a.m. on the west coast, unless there is a fly in my coffee I am not seeing, no bug sightings yet today.

TJBM has tree frogs in their zone

True. And stupid me, I was, like, 50 before I was told that the sound was a frog, not a big mouthed bird.

TJBM has a favorite Dwarf.

^^^ LOL

False, I think all the Dwarves are creepy little perverts.

TJBM will tell us their favorite color

Puuuuurrrrrrple.

TJBM has stitches on their body somewhere.

Not at present, and I’ve had precious little of my body stitched back together. I think doctors are nasty little pervs. lol

TJBM has sinned by lusting in their heart.

Well, not in a long while.

TJBM is going to glance to the left and tell me the first thing they see.

lol The first I see is my cat Gizmo !
TJBM thinks Mr. Peanut is a counter-revolutionary .

Haha…more like an arrogant nut.

TJBM wishes they had my awesome naked headhunter wood sculpture with the amazing penis

Noooo….that would just be strange!

TJBM needs a vacation.

Oh boy, do I ever!

TJBM is afraid of naked headhunter statues

VERY afraid.

TJBM hates it when the last person only left enough milk for about 1/8 of a glass.

Rude! Spineless bastage afraid to throw the empty carton away and risk being sent to the store for more!

TJBM thinks too much.

I’m told I do. By people who don’t think at all.

TJBM just wants to crawl in bed.

Nah, the cake’s a baking and I have to go to town, shortly.

TJBM puts the “pro” in procrastination!

yep.
TJBM won’t be praying tomorrow.

You got to pray, pray, pray, pray…you got to pray just to make it today!
TJBM used to think MC Hammer looked like he shit his pants, sometimes.

I’m out of that loop. I have only a vague idea who MC Hammer is.
TJBM does not live in the USA. Where do you live?

True. I live in the rebel held hills of communist held Illinois.

TJBM uses the word hate too freely.

False, but…when I use it, I really mean it! lol

TJBM had a disappointment today that almost made them cry

False

TJBM has a sad story that needs telling.

True, but it would just be whining, I’ll get over it, or not. lol

TJBM is saving their appetite for tomorrow

Nah. Tomorrow is not a feast. It’s an unimaginative redneck gathering of folks. I could provide better food with my left arm tied to my right leg.

I’m betting that TJBM had a boob problem today.

Heh…you must have read my boob stabbing moment in the unusual accidents thread. Yep, damn plum tree branch skewered my poor booby. lol

TJBM has man boobs

Nope. Shoot me.

TJBM thinks dryer lint has value.

True, the little tweety birds use it for their nests, along with my goose feathers and the neigh-bors horse hair. :-)

TJBM recently had a laundry disaster. I washed my white bathrobe with a fuzzy turquoise blanket and now my bathrobe has blue fuzz all over it. I LOVE that bathrobe and it is ruined! haha

Not that I’m aware of although it could have happened in the past.

TJBM always eats too much during the Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday season and has to exercise extra hard to remove the excess pounds they gained.

True, and, I’m starting now with some M&M Almonds. haha

TJBM needs to walk/jog 3 miles a day, 6 days a week to keep their girlish figure

lol It’s too late for that ! I have a silhouette that others often mistake for Poppin’ Fresh the Pillsbury Doughboy !
TJBM gets nervous when a pig is seen reading George Orwell’s book Animal Farm .

I would, yes. lol @lx102303 well don;t feel bad, I’m getting rounder by the day myself, damn menopause, the weight just hangs on like a flippin’ octopus. lol

TJBM wishes they could eat all they wanted and never get tubby

YES ! I wish that losing weight was as easy as gaining weight !
TJBM Sympathizes with the turkey community as so many of their number go to their deaths for our dining pleasure .

True, but I’m more upset about goose live pate considering my best buddy in the world is my15 yr. old gander I raised from a weensey gosling. He is so smart and funny and precious and the cruelty they experience in the fois gras industry is horrible. :-(

TJBM needs to go nitey nite now goodnight…zzzzz

You’re quite right about that !
TJBM is thankful for Thanksgiving .

True, I’m pleased that Walmart and Hallmark have not yet managed to make it into another gift giving extravaganza!

TJBM plays with raisins.

I eat ‘em! Does that count?

TJBM is eating soup with a fork.

Yes. Excellent dieting technique. :/

TJBM has a jam packed day today.

True, still waking up over here and leaving at 11:30 for 2 dinner events. I’m tired already. lol

TJBM has multiple dinners today

Nope. Just one. At a restaurant. This is going to be the easiest Thanksgiving ever! We’ll make up for it at Christmas though.

TJBM can’t believe how evil some people are.

True, and neurotic. Bah….paranoid, anxiety ridden, god forbid something upsets your routine! lol

TJBM is very observant

Sometimes. And other things my radar completely misses. LOL

TJBM likes to wear Christmas stuff at anytime other than Christmas, just to be ornery.

No. I would feel like a tard!

TJBM wears Christmas lights as earrings.

No , but that is an interesting idea .
TJBM dips there potato chips in ketchup .

Ew no.

TJBM sometimes puts catchup on their mashed potatoes.

Never have, but nothing is yummier than tabasco in mashed potatoes and all mixed up.
If you like stuff with an unexpected bite to it.

TJBM does not like anything remotely spicy.

I can handle “remotely,” but other than that, no. It just destroys the taste of the food.

TJBM loves salsa in most of their food.

The hotter the better. I don’t have much of a sense of taste, but spicy hot makes up for the lack of taste. At least I can feel the burn. LOL

TJBM wants footie pajamas.

Um, no. Cause after I crawl under the covers I get warm a little bit at a time, and my sleeping clothes come off a little bit at at time. :)

TJBM is just waiting for something to happen.

Yes , but it will be something unexpected .
TJBM wonders how long it takes a family of four to strip a twenty-two pound turkey down to the bone .

It had better happen soon, or there’s going to be turkey soufflé, turkey soup, turkey pickles, turkey ice cream, turkey salad, turkey flambé, turkey milkshake, turkey cornbread, turkey pancakes, turkey pie, turkey ….sandwiches….turkey cake…turkey smoothies, turkey stew, turkey…snooze…..

TJBM rebells against the Turkey establishment!

TJAM is always cool !
lol Yes , I’m involved in anti-turkey rebellion ! (Even though I feel sorry for the turkeys , they sure do taste good!)
TJBM is almost always cool .

Cold is a better description. An electric space heater is my best friend.

TJBM is waiting for family to show up. Or go away. Which is it?

Neither , this jelly doesn’t have family . ‘sob’ & ‘boo-hoo’
TJBM is wondering about what they’ll get for Christmas .

Nope. I don’t care, which irritates the family to no end. LOL

TJBM believes in Extra Terrestrials.

Ye… Wait…uh…”(Can you hold on a minute?)” OH. _I phoned home and they said deny it “No”.

TJBM could make fun with 3 marbles, 5 pencil eraser caps, and two keys from sardine tins cans. (Yes, it’s rare, but you still can get the Keys.)

Sure! Why not? I’ll make a Christmas ornament with it.

TJBM wonders what’s in the frizzer

I know what’s in the freezer : a “Red Baron” pepperoni pizza , 4 chicken pot-pies , 1 “Hungry Man” turkey dinner and 6 frozen burritos .
TJBM was on TV at one time .

False but I was in a crowd shot during the filming of the movie “The Electric Horseman”.

TJBM hates that irritating wench “Flo” on the Progressive Insurance TV commericals.

I don’t hate the huggable Flo but I don’t care much for her or Progressive Insurance either . What happened to the cavemen ?
TJBM has heard that thanks to the ‘miracle’ of modern preservatives the embalmer’s work is much more easily done .

You mean they have a new and improved formaldehyde? Longer “shelf” life I guess. lol

TJBM is about to keep over and die they are so tired

No , not quite yet but after a movie probably so .
TJBM tried to turn themselves into the police for breaking the speed-limit and was told that the jail was only for ‘important’ people .

LOL, false. One parking ticket, one rear ender, one squirrel and skunk in 38 years. Not a bad driving record. Zero “real” tickets ever, and, I am kind of a speed demon at times. Oops, I’m going 80 again! haha

TJBM is signing off now, over and out jelly pals :-)

TJAM threatens to return to Fluther !
TJBM thinks that ears are weird .

Ears are intricately beautiful!

TJBM likes classic TV better than current TV fare.

True, I hate TV, have hardly watched any for over 10 years. I watch nature, science documentaries and rent Netflix, that’s it.

TJBM is depressed and stressed lately

No , no more than usual .
TJBM wishes they could go back in time .

True, from 2004 through 2011 when my life was great. haha

TJBM has been on both sides of every fence there is

not quite
TJBM wants one of those cows to do their business in a Chick-Fil-A kitchen.

Haha…I have only eaten there once, gross, pricey, I was NOT impressed at all.

TJBM has a head cold

nope

TJBM is overdosing on chocolate.

How did you know I have a large bag of M&Ms !?
TJBM thinks that Pinocchio is a liar .

True, true, true.

TJBM hates graffitti in natural places like spray painted granite boulders 1000’s of years old Grrrr

True. What the hell’s the matter with people. I think there’s a large contingent of humans that just enjoy spoiling things.

TJBM has a beautiful view from their dwelling.

Not as beautiful as my old view, but yes, my back yard is unfenced and borders a quaint cemetery with lots of wildlife roaming around. Deer and geese and turkeys and foxes.

TJBM likes to go to the movies