Social Question

josie's avatar

Is your man a psychopath? Or your woman?

Asked by josie (22422 points ) December 9th, 2013

This blog outlines how to tell if your man is psychopath.

Seems pretty straightforward, although now I think some of my high school buddies must have been psychopaths.

And while we are at it, do the same rules apply to woman?

My exwife is a psychopath, and absolutely none of those diagnostic signs applied to her.

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25 Answers

Katniss's avatar

Throw in some extreme physical abuse and you’ve got my ex, to a T.
That article was spot on. It’s pretty scary stuff.

cookieman's avatar

Thankfully, no.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Uh oh! :)

ucme's avatar

Nope, but then we plan on sticking around for life, tons of divorced folks claim the other is the wackjob, funny that.

Smitha's avatar

Check this to know the signs regarding woman.

Actually we cannot completely determine if a person is Psychopath based on these signs. They are morally depraved individuals having virtually no conscience, no impulse control, no guilt and no empathy. They usually appear outwardly successful charming and completely normal. They are manipulators who know how to manipulate and influence other peoples feelings.
It is really sad that there are people who live their lives this way. But no matter how much pity or compassion we may have for a psychopathic individual, we can never save them. If we try to do so it will only hurt us in the end.

livelaughlove21's avatar


The things mentioned in that article are not signs of being a psychopath – they’re just how some psychopaths manifest the signs. They don’t feel as the rest of us do – no love, no empathy, no remorse, a grandiose sense of self. They’re also very charming and manipulative. So, some psychopaths may behave like the men described in the article, but certainly not all of them. And women have the same characteristics, but they may behave differently than male psychopaths. Even if you’re with a man that fits the article perfectly, he’s probably not a psychopath. 2% of the population meet the criteria for psychopathy – way more than 2% of men fit the article’s criteria. Those are also the signs of being a run-of-the-mill manipulative asshole.

And @josie, who says your ex is a psychopath? It’s not something you can diagnose yourself.

poisonedantidote's avatar

I just wanted to point out, that “psychopath” does not need be a bad thing.

I have known for a long time that I am if not fully, at least partly psychopath. There are certain emotions I am simply incapable of feeling, but I understand how I am supposed to pretend to feel them and when to pretend.

Me saying I am a part/full psychopath, or… psychopath who is slowly gowing out of it with age some how, is totally self diagnosed. But I think some of you will probably agree that I am to some extent like that.

I suspect @josie stopped typing when I started typing, thinking “oh look, how interesting, an answer from an actual psychopath”. hehe.

When reading that article, I can see certain things that apply to me, even if it is not the entire article. However, I don’t think it is all bad, so long as the pstchopath knows what he/she is, and acts appropriately.

My girlfriend and I have a very good relationship, I would even go as far as calling it perfect in some situations. I can’t imagine anyone advising her to break up with me with things the way they are, just because I am incapable of feeling certain emotions.

I have posts on this site, old posts, where I talk about how I did not feel any emotions other than anger or frustration until about the age of 12 or so. I was just dead inside, and to some extent, I still am with some emotions.

But, do I really need those emotions? Is it not enough to just be logical about it, and build your morals off of cold logical thoughts? Does it really have to mean the person is bad or incapable of having a relationship? I don’t think so, I even think to some extent, not having these emotions can be a good thing.

Yes, I do actually love my girlfriend, and I am capable of feeling empathy for her. I could even sacrifice something of my own in a selfless act for her, up to and including my own life. However, I know I am still a psycho, or at least partly.

I am incredibly good to have around in a disaster. When everyone is freaking out, you can be sure I will keep calm and think rationally, something I would not be able to do if emotions affected me more tha they already do.

I am capable of remaining faithful to my girl In a way that I honestly don’t think I could if I felt more things more often.

There are a lot of benefits that come with thinking how I think and feeling how I feel.

I don’t know, maybe I am mistaken, maybe I have a perfectly healthy mind, or maybe I am cured or on my way to be cured, but I do honestly think the label psychopath applies to me to some extent.

I find, I can’t help but wonder if the word psychopath simply has a bad reputation, from being linked to killers and serial killers, or if it really just is always bad. I also find myself wondering, if we are not all psychopaths, but just different degrees.

I’ll be thinking on it, the question certainly has provoked some thought.

livelaughlove21's avatar

@poisonedantidote Yes, I do actually love my girlfriend, and I am capable of feeling empathy for her.

Then you’re not a psychopath. Sorry. And the word “psycho” is not synonymous with “psychopath.”

No, being a psychopath isn’t always a horrible thing. It’s a great quality to have for a businessman. He’ll get much further in his career if he has no feelings of remorse and a charming, yet manipulative, nature. Not all psychopaths are criminals, and few are killers.

I can’t say whether you have some sort of mental health disorder, but I seriously doubt you’d meet the criteria for psychopathy. Having one or two symptoms of a disorder does not mean you have that disorder. Perhaps some kind of personality disorder would fit better, or perhaps it’s just how you are. But like I said, self-diagnosis doesn’t really work that way.

momster's avatar

That blog has to be about the stupidest thing I’ve ever read. It simplifies and overgeneralizes and makes it seem like spotting a psychopath is easy. The majority of people are very bad at identifying actual psychopaths (or sociopaths, same thing) because the concept of having no conscience is nearly impossible for normal people to grasp.

I’ve read that one person out of twelve is a psychopath. Not all of them are manipulative geniuses, it all depends on how smart the person is. Not all of them are violent. Some are just really mean and unpleasant people, some are highly charismatic, some are in prison, and some are successful businessmen. The only thing they all have in common is a complete lack of a conscience. There are a couple of really good books on the subject. One is The Psychopath Test and the other is The Psychopath Next Door. Both agree that psychopaths are much more common than those of us with a conscience can believe.

poisonedantidote's avatar

@livelaughlove21 Yes, I am capable of love and empathy, but not for everyone I should point out. I am also not capable of feeling guilty, for anything, like, ever.

I am not sure what I am, I know that a lot of emotions are new for me (last 5–15 years). As a kid it was very different. I would just observe and witness, and not feel a thing all day, except in some rare ocasions when something benefited me in some selfish way.

The other thing, that makes me think I have some kind of related problem, is that death does not affect me. It could be from growing up in Spain, where there is a very different attitude towards death, but I am never surprised or shocked when someone dies, I just go on. Being told someone is dead, is like hearing a new restaurant opened or some other trivial thing.

longgone's avatar

^^ Did you ever have someone close die, or are you talking about friends of friends?

poisonedantidote's avatar

@longgone Friends of friends, friends, distant family, and not so distant family.

longgone's avatar

@poisonedantidote Right. That’s a lot, I’m sorry. Maybe you’re protecting yourself by not caring… Anyway, I’m glad you’ve found someone who is important to you.

poisonedantidote's avatar

@longgone Thanks.

I should maybe point out though, that no one that I really had a good close relationship with has died. My parents who I care about are both still alive.

Yes, I have had close-ish friends die, when I was in my early teens, motorbike accidents, and I always noticed I just accepted it and never reacted like my other friends did when they found out.

I have had “close” family die, in that they are very close to my own bloodline, but as I was raised in Spain, and all my family live in the UK, I have never really got to know any of them that well other than a handful of them, who are still all alive.

However, I still find myself wondering how I will react. If for example my father dies. Yes, he is my father and I care about him, but, he had a stroke several years back, and he still drinks and eats fatty food at 3am, so, I don’t know, when he dies, I don’t think I will be surprised. 60 year old man, had a stroke, eats red hot curry at 3am, and does not exercise, not that surprising.

I would like to think that if my father dies, I will react normally, but when you can see something coming from far away, for years, then that may also change reactions I guess.

Seek's avatar

Just for fun, anyone want to see if they are a psychopath?

Seek's avatar

For what it’s worth, I’m not. Pretty much all of my answers were “Strongly disagree”.

ucme's avatar

The questions on that test read like the script from American Psycho, I was so reading them in Bateman’s voice.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I so wish I could have heard that!

poisonedantidote's avatar

You score for primary psychopathy was higher than 82.8% of people who have taken this test.

You score for secondary psychopathy was higher than 58.86% of people who have taken this test.

That is with me saying I strongly agree that cheating is wrong because it hurts others, nd being honest about not caring much about money. So, I guess, not a psychopath, but 82% more of a psychopath than the others who took the test.

Seek's avatar

Did the full thing this time, and actually paid attention:

You score for primary psychopathy was higher than 41.76% of people who have taken this test.

You score for secondary psychopathy was higher than 81.09% of people who have taken this test.

Apparently I have antisocial tendencies and am not concerned with socially rewarded efforts. But I don’t lack empathy.

Bang on, there.

Also, it’s really pissing me off that it says “you score” instead of “your score”.

GloPro's avatar

I’m just going to claim the test is bullshit because I didn’t like the results. Putting the blinders on in 3….2….1….

talljasperman's avatar

You score for primary psychopathy was higher than 89.78% of people who have taken this test.

You score for secondary psychopathy was higher than 63.38% of people who have taken this test.

I had fun doing the test.

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