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poofandmook's avatar

What's the funniest spoonerisms you've ever heard or said?

Asked by poofandmook (17057 points ) December 17th, 2013

I pretty much think that the Spoonerism is one of the funniest things on the planet, and I’m looking for a giggle today.

Once several years ago I was in the backyard pool of my old house with my roommates and I said something about the “fatio purniture” instead of “patio furniture” and I still crack up to this day about it.

Yesterday my husband couldn’t stop accidentally using “spoonerisms” but the funniest by far was when he said the “spood would foil” instead of the “food would spoil” and we’re still giggling about it.

Am I the only idiot who remembers these things or do you have some funny spoonerisms to share?

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26 Answers

Espiritus_Corvus's avatar

Our Father who art in heaven, Howard be thy name.

poofandmook's avatar

my grammar is horrible today. The question should read “what ARE the funniest…” I suck today.

Seek's avatar

We do this with opening credits of TV shows.

For some reason my husband always gets the giggles during Star Trek: The Next Generation.

“Statrick Pewart (Patrick Stewart)
Spent Briner (Brent Spiner)
Fronathan Jakes (Jonathan Frakes)
Dikeal Morn… (Michael Down)
Fads McGayton! AHhahahaha” (Gates McFadden)

My husband is such a doofus.

Juels's avatar

Wedgie Wayne (Reggie Wayne of the Colts)

Espiritus_Corvus's avatar

@poofandmook That’s OK. My answer is probably not a spoonerism, either.

Juels's avatar

Mine probably isn’t either but it still makes me giggle.

ucme's avatar

Cupid stunt.

bea2345's avatar

“Leave no turn unstoned.”

Pachy's avatar

Recently overheard… “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him sink” and one from a former co-worker referring to a woman he didn’t like… “She’s just a barbecue doll.”

Pachy's avatar

@bea2345, do you perhaps mean “tern”?

rojo's avatar

Once had a boss who described a potential employee candidate as being “hands and feet above the rest”.

El_Cadejo's avatar

First thing to pop into my head. “Lets go poke smot”

@bea2345 No Turn Unstoned

Coloma's avatar

Just yesterday I called a couple of my friends, “Nance and Lancey”, instead of “Nancy & Lance.” lol

bea2345's avatar

@uberbatman – thanks for the link. I have saved it to my favourite videos.

This spoonerism may have been composed by George Bernard Shaw, but I first saw it in a passage that went like this: “Leave no turn unstoned,” said the vicar, and was subsequently summonsed for disturbing the peace when an infuriated mob stoned a variety show in a local theatre.”

“Turn,” in England, means a a performance regularly presented by an individual or group as part of a variety show. In Shaw’s time, the variety show was staged by traveling companies All of you who do not recognise the expression should read The Good Companions by J.B Priestly.

longgone's avatar

Time wounds all heels.

bea2345's avatar

^isn’t that the truth.

Coloma's avatar

@longgone Haha….I love that! I have heard it before.

Coloma's avatar

Here’s mine, a twist on the biblical saying. ( I am not religious but…)

Instead of ” Be in this world but not of it” I prefer…” Be of this world but not in it.” lol

ETpro's avatar

@poofandmook How dare you ask me this? Yuck fou, you bucking fitch! ~

I like Spoonerisms too. As a little kid, I used to blurt them out sometimes without thinking through the meaning. The worst was when I was in the back seat of the family car heading to a fine cafeteria style restaurant called the Pine Tree Inn in Virginia Beach, VA. I blurted out that we were going to eat at the Trine Pee Inn. The adults in the car didn’t seem amused, but the kids all cracked up.

Coloma's avatar

^^^ LOL

gasman's avatar

“I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.”

Harold's avatar

Spoonerisms of “fitted sheet” and “chuck a fit”. Entirely accidental….......

ETpro's avatar

Repeat each of these continuously and rapidly:

“I’m a sheet slitter. I slit sheets. I’m the best sheet slitter that’s ever slit a sheet.”

“I’m a sock tucker. I tuck socks. I’m the finest sock tucker that’s ever tucked a fine sock.

“I’m not a fig plucker nor a fig plucker’s son, but I’ll pluck your fig’s ‘til the fig plucker comes.”

poofandmook's avatar

@ETpro I could barely read those straight xD lol

rojo's avatar

Chuck U. Farley!

bea2345's avatar

My absolute favourite is “Hardy Drew and the Nancy Boys.”

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