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Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Not that most people have the choice, but which is worst time for having a funeral in December?

Asked by Hypocrisy_Central (20307 points ) December 23rd, 2013

Which is the worst December time to have a funeral, though you really do not have a choice in the matter? Having to have it three weeks before Christmas, a week before Christmas, three days before Christmas, two days after Christmas, right before New Year?

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17 Answers

Seek's avatar

Well, as mentioned, one doesn’t really have a choice, but I’d say three weeks before, as I imagine airfare would be less pricey for those needing to travel.

dxs's avatar

Are you attending the funeral as a mourner or a dead person?

chyna's avatar

My dad’s funeral was 38 years ago on this date, December 23, 1975.
It made Christmas hard to get through for years.

CWOTUS's avatar

Any time after around 10:30 PM is going to be pretty bad, I would think. On a Thursday.

anniereborn's avatar

3 years ago my uncle died in early December. They didn’t have the funeral till after Christmas. I wasn’t able to attend, so I couldn’t say how he looked. But, I guess they kept him frozen all that time? I dunno.
But I think the worst time would be RIGHT before Christmas.

MadMadMax's avatar

I don’t want anybody to die on my birthday either.

elbanditoroso's avatar

Tough question. I would say that January 1 (technically not December) would be a really bad day because no one would come – there is too much good football on January 1, and people would be pissed off if they had to give up football for a ceremony.

MadMadMax's avatar

@elbanditoroso Or too hung over more likely.

KaY_Jelly's avatar

My husband died in November, my father in the previous January, although neither happened in December the mood for the holidays sucks.

Everyone is missing someone. My father’s birthday would be tomorrow.

And however insignificant to anyone else my guinea pig age 7 passed away 1 month after my husband.

Ironically all died on the same day Nov, Dec and Jan. And then my best friend, my cousin, died 3 days after my birthday.

None of the days are good. The first Christmas sucks but family try to surround you, the rest after actually suck more because the friends and family taper off and you are left without your loved one with nothing but memories, so thank God, for those who believe that at least for the memories.

CWOTUS's avatar

I’m sorry for your losses, @KaY_Jelly, all of them. If it’s significant to you, then it’s significant, no?

I have a friend in Virginia who has had two Scottie dogs for about a dozen years or so. Has had. He lost one to cancer a week ago, but he had known about that and made the dog as comfortable as possible while his end approached. But he worried about the other, too, because she was obviously not doing well; she hasn’t been eating lately. He found out today that her liver has failed – also cancer, unsuspected til now – and if he doesn’t put her down tomorrow then I’ll be very surprised. Losing a beloved pet can be hugely upsetting.

My father died two days before my 50th birthday, ten years ago. He was 80 at the time, but in generally good health, so his death came as a complete shock. The following week I went to Flagstaff, AZ, where he and my mother had moved only months earlier (to be near a sister who planned to help out with their day to day needs in a way that none of the other siblings could). I was there that week to spend time with my mother as we eased her into a nursing home, since she needed full care. I learned that Dad had died on the night he put the trash out to the curb. I suspect (as I learned myself during the week I stayed in the house and put the trash out myself) that the full container, a wheelie-bin, had been hard going for him in the loose pea gravel driveway. But would he ask for help taking out the trash? Not on your life; not on his life, anyway. The physical effort in the cold at high altitude, I think, plus his always-low blood pressure, probably made him dizzy. He probably passed out or fainted, fell, hit his head and died from the combination of fall and exposure as he lay outside in the cold all night. (Mom just sat in her chair in the living room; she’d been incompetent to call for help – or even to recognize that help might be needed – for many months by this time.) So the joke I discovered that week – through my tears – was that Dad was killed while taking out the trash. The trash took out Dad. Some day I suppose it’ll be funnier.

I can’t wait to find out what happens next.

zenvelo's avatar

To have someone pass between the 20th and the night of the 25th is really hard, it takes any relief from Christmas away. If you watch the obits not as many people have passed since the 10th, but there will be a lot that die on Thursday, Friday, and this weekend; because people hang on until Christmas.

I had a coworker who was dying from cancer, he passed on the 26th. So hard on the family because their whole Christmas was focused on him. He was buried on New Year’s Eve.

KaY_Jelly's avatar

@CWOTUS ty.

It’s true my little noogy, short for new guinea and because he had a part in his hair that looked like he’d been getting a noogy from his siblings. lol. He was very special to us. Real cuddly and loved giving kisses! He is cremated in a beautiful urn that’s how much he means to me.

I’ve had people say to me, “it’s just a rodent, why would you do that for a rodent?”

I guess that is why I said “however insignificant to anyone else.”

We sit in silence, drinking hot chocolate and contemplating the act that death is a monstrous affront to the living and shouldn’t be allowed.

~Anna Maxted

Haleth's avatar

One of my guy friends died on Friday night at age 27. It’s all the worst time.

KaY_Jelly's avatar

@Haleth Sorry for your loss. I know it is not easy. :(

jonsblond's avatar

I think any time in December or near a holiday is difficult. There is so much excitement and joy around you when you are mourning. It kind of feels like being punched when you are already down.

I just lost my mother on December 30 and my birthday is in two days. My mother didn’t want a funeral or visitation. If she did it would have probably been on my birthday.

chyna's avatar

[[[Hugs]]] @jonsblond.

zenvelo's avatar

@jonsblond My condolences for you and your family.

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