The Jelly Below Me, # 51?

TJBM has pink painted toenails.

TJBM wants to run for president.

True, I DO have pink toenails and False, I wouldn’t be President for all the money in the world.

TJBM is still waking up with Folgers in their cup

@Coloma How did you guess? lol, it’s Colombian though.

TJBM likes to do karoake on occasion.

Wrong. I would never voluntarily turn myself into a monkey in public.
TJBM lost his virginity in prison.

False, I ( she) lost her virginity at a wild wedding reception many moons ago.

TJBM is wearing crazy socks

Sorry no, I’m not wearing socks this morning—only slippers.

TJBM received at least 8 Xmas cards this year.

About 18.

TJBM finally found the new TJBM thread.

True, yay!

TJBM just applied for a job they really, really, want?

False, I wish.

TJBM wishes they were somewhere else right now!

True, I wish I were back in my old house. :-(

TJBM is exhausted from the holiday scene

True. I could sleep for days.

TJBM has cold hands.

False, I have it on good authority it is my feet that are cold.

TJBM wishes the holiday season would start around Halloween and go on until Groundhog Day.

You mean it doesn’t start the week before Halloween and go Valentine’s Day ! !

TJBM has bandaids in the car.

True. Also in my desk at home and at work.

TJBM dances with a cat when they hear “Cobacabana”, while singing along loudly and badly.

False, my chihuahua will have nothing to do with a cat. Trust me, we tried.
TJBM is still playing with their new Christmas toys.

Yeah, got a new android phone.

TJBM is hungry.

No just got through with Chinese food, wait another 15 minutes.

TJBM is happy that a new TJBM was started, because once again it was taking far too long to load the page of the last TJBM.

False, I haven’t played the game in close to a year now

TJBM is having fish for dinner tonight

false, too lazy to cook it.

TJBM can’t seem to get a grip on the pet hair today…

false, I got a labradoodle and he doesn’t shed so not problems with pet hair

TJBM has 2 pets and will tell us what they are

Brother and sister; Black Lab and German Shepherd cross, they are two years old, they were rescue dogs.

TJBM has had a rescue dog(s).

I have two rescue dogs currently and a rescue bird!

TJBM has at least one crazy family member they’ll tell us about.

Well, he’s gone now, but, my ex BIL was the stupidest surfer dude in the world. Good looking but dumb as a box of rocks, he drove me nuts. lol

TJBM hates it when people point in their face

True, I want to break their fingers.

TJBM has something neon colored within their reach

Uh, not really unless you count an orange box of “Happy Hippo” bisquits. lol

TJBM is going, going, gone….

Kinda. I was napping a moment ago.

TJBM enjoys a good bear hug.

False. Honestly, I get a little weird when people touch me.

TJBM is jealous that TJAM was taking a nap.

false. I’m jealous of TJAY’s delicious monicker. TJBM still has visions of sugar plums.

True and I wish they would just go away.
TJBM likes Vodka martinis.

False. I don’t drink alcohol.

TJBM knows someone who drinks too much.

Wrong. Not anymore.
TJBM always lies.

Yes I do.

TJBM is not sure what to write next.

That is very true.
TJBM wants a cookie.

True, Oh boy I think I will go to the kitchen now and grab one (how I love the holidays)
TJBM will tell us their favorite part of this time of year

No.
TJBM will get pregnant before the year is over.

false aint ever going to happen.
TJBM Likes Christmas, but would rather be golfing.

Incorrect. I kind-of-like Christmas but really dislike golfing.

TJBM would hug a koala bear, given the chance.

True, because I have a stuffed koala bear at home.
TJBM hate koala bears so much that he/she could fired a missile at one, given a chance :)

False, I would never fire a missile at any animal but Koalas can be vicious little things. lol

TJBM has SO much candy and Christmas sugar overload stuff around

Not anymore! I have a small stash I rescued for myself.
TJBM is driving me crazy, constantly bidding against me on ebay.

False, I don’t use ebay.

TJBM likes crushed ice

Oooooooooooo I see spots before my eyes.
Crushed ice only when I’m in labor
TJBM has had a trip which made their bubble bath look like @Coloma‘s new avatar picture.

Vacation trip and acid trip, yes. Many moons ago, Kemosabe.

TJBM thinks Swedish Fish are Norwegian sardines.

False, because I haven’t even seen Swedish Fish.
TJBM wants to sleep right now!

Naw, I cheated and had an afternoon nap. I want Swedish Fish right now, and a rootbeer float.
TJBM would like a summer day, and someone to hold hands on a riverbank and watch the water flow by.

½ true. I would like a summer day but I don’t fancy going to the river.
TJBM is old-fashioned enough to find 1950s horror movies awesome.
I prefer 1950s noir movies

false. substitute awful for awesome You are correct to prefer noir to 50’s horror films. The films themselves were the REAL horrors. TJBM is craving snow cones.

Only if I can get back to warmer climate!
The Jelly below me is up past his/her bedtime.

Kinda true. I went to bed at 10PM, but woke up at 4AM and can’t fall back to sleep.

TJBM enjoys toast with butter and jam.

True, one of my favorite things at the diner is toast with butter and strawberry jam! Even better if it’s an english muffin.

TJBM is about to watch a TV show that is quite old on DVD.

Not right now, but last night I watched the 1999(?) Batman.

@Yetanotheruser and….? lol

TJBM thinks TJAM has midlife dementia

Has nothing to do with midlife!

TJBM is up early this morning.

Not hardly…it’s nearly 10:30 a.m. here and I’m still in sweats!

TJBM feels badly for Santi’s with dementia.

nope
TJBM stirs their coffee with strips of bacon.

False but hmmm maybe something to try I do love bacon and coffee separately

TJBM has taken down all holiday decorations already like me

Tralse! There was never a holiday decoration in my home. lol

TJBM has a pillow top mattress so thick, there are not sheets to fit it.

True. I have a kind size water bed with a top mattress AND a feather mattress on top of that. It is so freaking comfortable I don’t know why I ever even get out of bed.

TJBM tried to sneak away into TJBM 51 hoping I wouldn’t find them.

False. I boldly went where no man has gone before.
I almost asked your permission, but
1.) I knew you were hungover and
2.) I enjoy the attention. :-D
TJBM has High Hopes

Nope. I have moderate expectations.

TJBM would like a foot rub.

Oh my YES!
TJBM is wanting another piece of Christmas chocolate right NOW!!

Mmmmmm….I want Pecan pie!

TJBM has gained a few pounds over the holidays.

Nope! I’m pretty proud of how well I did this year.
TJBM is wondering where they will come up with that returns and gift card energy.

nope
TJBM wants some pelican pie.

Wrong. I do not even know what that is.
TJBM was too slow.

nope
The beauty of non-responsive answers is, you can never be too soon or too late.
TJBM is looking forward to a Happy New Year.

I hope so, 2013 sucked for me after a great 2004–2011. The downward cycle, bah humbug!

TJBM is going to movie this weekend

False.. I think. lol

TJBM could use a chapstick right about now.

All the time, winter is so dehydrating.

TJBM loves deviled eggs with sweet pickle relish

No and no (although, I’m told my aunt’s deviled eggs are fabulous)

TJBM would like to own a non-domesticated animal as a pet if they could.

I do, sorta, with all the woodland critters coming through my backyard to snack. I have a batch of squirrels which are still pretty skittish, but one of them found he can sit in the tree and cast a shadow in my room. when he wants me to toss something out to him he gets my attention that way.
TJBM is probably going to just say nope anywhay, so I don’t have to bother with an interesting JBM thought.

Yep.

TJBM would like a fox as a pet.

Absolutely! TJAM haqs a fox and kits to bring to my little woods so we can add them to my collection of wild buddies.
TJBM will be jealous as all get out when I get my family of foxes.

Haha, not really, from she who has lived with an over abundance of wildlife forever.

TJBM has come face to face with a mountain lion I did behind my old bard about 10 years ago one night…whew, the cat stared me down and then just walked away! I RAN, bad idea but instinct took over. lol

No, but a guard dog got loose once, and faced me down on a deserted street, before cell phones. I sternly informed it I bite back. I then held out a tiny 2” knife blade I carry with me, point down. It was very shiny, and would resemble a tooth to the critter. He back away, growling nonstop. I went on, keeping the blade fully visable.
TJBM has saved a human life.

Yeah. My sister’s. Twice. I have also incubated human lives!

TJBM misses her kids when they were little.

True, my daughter was so funny when she was little, she still is. :-)

TJBM needs to clean house but can;t get up and do it yet pffft!

Clean, shmean.

TJBM hears voices.

On the telephone, television, in backyard, upstairs . . . . !

TJBM once rode a bicycle for more than 30 miles in a day.

nope
TJBM is still using WIN95.

False, Vista.

TJBM is hungry

False,just had a late lunch.
TJBM thinks every other OS from mico soft is garbage.

True. I’ve been using the Mac OS since 1988 (pretty much exclusively since 2000). I can use Windows if I have to, but I don’t enjoy it.

TJBM owns more than one adult toy.

True.

TJBM is sleeping somewhere other than their home tonight.

Wrong. I always sleep at home.
TJBM will say ‘false’.

True—er—False!

TJBM is a living metaphor.

False. I am a meta living spore.

TJBM enjoys Torrone (Italian honey nougat candy)

“I am a meta living spore.” is a keen answer!!

Gawd, that sounds yummy! No bringing up the subject unless you brought enough to share with the whole class!
TJBM is cursing his slow hands.

AAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH!

False. “It’s not the speed that counts!”

TJBM is a frustrated artist.

@Jonesn4burgers: I have a whole box. Come on by.

Candy’s dandy,
liquor’s quicker.
Ogdan Nash

TJBM is a frustrated artist.

Yes, I am. I want to be decorating my new house, but I need the house first. lol

TJBM has decorating flair

I’m an arranger. Set 100 things on the floor and tell me to put them on shelves, and they’ll look Marvelous. Set them on the shelves, and I’m helpless.

TJBM has a favorite pair of scissors.

Ohhhh yes anyone who sews a lot does mine are a great pair of Ginger Shears

TJBM owns a sewing machine

A sewing machine?! By God, you will pay for that insolence before this day is out, Talbot!.
TJBM is monolingual.

False, I am clueless.

TJBM has a banana milkshake

Monkey see, monkey do?

TJBM’s got talent.

Talents that make me a nightmare for people like you.
TJBM will be looked for, and found.

Present and accounted for.

TJBM saw a Bald eagle recently Unusual sighting for me yesterday, he was magnificent, sitting at the tippy top of a huge pine tree overlooking the river here…

True. I probably see 3–8 hawks a day, and at least one eagle a week. There are NO bunnies. I’m thinking that I could drive to town and probably see 15–30 bald eagles on the riverfront.

TJBM thinks big birds are good eating.

No! Okay, well Turkeys yes.

TJBM wants chinese takeout

Chinese takeout would do. So would pizza. Italian. Mexican. Hell, I’m just hungry. lol

TJBM is gaining weight, fast. lol

Yeah right! I can eat my bodyweight in a meal and not gain a pound.
The Jelly below me wishes they were in better shape.

I was just thinking that @dxs. I used to do 80 – 100 sit ups a day. Now I can’t bring my self to do 20 on any regular basis. I can physically do them, but why I don’t get down there and do them is beyond me.

TJBM is glad Christmas is over.

yes and no, I wish I could have moved before Christmas so I could have actually enjoyed my holiday instead of being harrassed again by my condo assn and only 2 days before Christmas this time.

TJBM knows how it feels to be discriminated against

Moderately but nothing over the top.

TJBM went for a walk today

False. Too dad-burned cold for walking. I took a drive to the Pizza Hut.

TJBM loves anchovies.

uh so false.
TJBM is clueless about semi trucks.

True, but I love semi-sweet chocolate!

TJBM loves olives.

Oh I do,I do, the green ones love them on about everything.
TJBM wouldn’t have a clue as how to shift a 18 speed fuller transmission.

My dad drove 18 wheelers my whole life. He wasn’t around much of my life, but he managed to teach me to drive very well. When he offered to teach me to drive his truck, I declined. I was scared. It was someone else’s job, and I was okay with that.
TJBM knows the thrill of riding an 18 wheeler sandwich through speed traps.

Hell no! I don’t drive big vehicles well, don’t put me behind the wheel of a big rig, I’ll wipe entire towns off the map. Bad idea, bad.

TJBM knows that left handed people are superior lol

Wrong, left handed people are demonic.
TJBM likes the Star Wars Christmas Special

I barely remember it. It involved the ewoks, Chewbacca, R2D2, and C3P0 – yes? I suppose little kid-me was thrilled at the time.

TJBM is watching the Kennedy Center Honors tonight.

False. Not had a TV channel since the 90’s.

TJBM never turns the radio off.

True, because I don’t have a radio.
TJBM is thinking of a shocking statement beginning with “TJBM”

True. Here it is…

TJBM has a sex dungeon with a merry go round lol

True. The merry go round is my sex slave, and soon enough we will have merry-go-round-man!
TJBM is planning to do something NSFW tonight.

Yes… sleep nekkid. I just can’t do that at work.

TJBM can fall asleep anywhere.

wrong, I can not fall asleep anywhere.
TJBM knows that Satan is the good guy.

Incorrect. I know that Satan is fictitious.

TJBM likes balony.

Wrong, you can only believe that if your a Republican
TJBM has little or no humor.

I can be really bad at picking up on it with people I’m not familiar with, but if I’m with people who I know, I can be pretty funny.
The Jelly below me likes the number 51.

Wrong, I can not count that high.
TJBM is a monkey and an ape.

ooo ooo aaa aaa
The Jelly below me is wondering where @ragingloli‘s nose is.

I have an idea lol

TJBM will say “goodnight” now. Good night

Goodnight now.
TJBM willbe there waiting for us when we wake up.

Goodnight now.
TJBM will be there waiting for us when we wake up.

I’m he-e-ere!

TJBM is groggy before coffee.

False. I don’t drink coffee.
TJBM has just disliked something on Youtube.

Sure, but I just click away and don’t watch it.

TJBM has a house full of children.

False. I certainly have a house full, but no children.

TJBM has lived an extravagant, over-the-top lifestyle at some point.

Nope, but if you’re offering to be my Sugar Jelly…

TJBM wonders how different they would be had they been born in a different country or era.

True. More so when I was younger, though. I always felt a strange affinity for the Roaring Twenties. Not a reincarnation thing, more of a ‘missed my boat’ thing.

TJBM blesses strangers – even in the next aisle over in the store – when they sneeze.

Occasionally, but not a habit. lol

TJBM needed about 4 hours more sleep this morning

True,but would have been happy with just 2 more.
TJBM is thinking about a toasted english muffin right now.

False, drinking my last cup of coffee, I east later, after the coffee kicks in. haha

TJBM has big plans in their mind but is not sure how to bring them to fruition.

Yeah. I’m taking a new (antique) mall spot, but it’s going really slowly and I’m dragging my feet. The woman I’m to share with is a spitfire, and I was counting on her motivation.

TJBM is anal about whites being white.

They are not white, they are a boring pinkish beige.
TJBM pissed his trousers when he was ten.

Nope, I’m a female and I don;t wear trousers.

TJBM is trying to get in gear this Monday

True. Up to late last night, long drive this morning just to get to work.
TJBM has trouble with a supernatural entity.

I did. But it turned out to be an earthquake. But since I live in Kansas we blame ghosts before we blame of earthquakes.

TJBM finally has all the Christmas stuff put away.

Not yet. I’m taking everything down after New Years.

TJBM is happy Christmas is over.

OMG yes, let spring begin.
TJBM is a tad grumpy.

Yup. I didn’t sleep well last night.

TJBM made a New Year’s resolution.

Yes. I resolved to not make New Year’s resolutions.

TJBM keeps thinking they’re finished putting all the Christmas stuff away, but keeps finding this and that and having to reopen boxes.

wrong, I have no Christmas stuff.
TJBM was given coal for christmas as a child.

Never!

TJBM is a Bah Humbug.

Of course. Christmas should be abolished again. That is one thing the Puritans got right.
TJBM knows who Dagobert Duck is.

No. No I do not – but I bet he’s delicious with a citrus glaze.

TJBM can do a handstand.

Maybe twenty years ago, but wouldn’t want to try it now.
TJBM likes mud wrestling.

No, that is disgusting.
TJBM likes oily porn.

Only if it’s extra virgin olive oil as it’s better for your cholesterol.

TJBM is aghast at how expensive concert or sporting event tickets are today.

Yes, shocking really. For my family of 5 it costs less to fly across the country than it does to see a Cirq du Soleil event, for example!

TJBM wears a lot of jewelry. (not me)

I do not wear jewelry.
TJBM will be abducted by aliens.

Yes, but they were legal aliens.

TJBM watched __Bizarre Foods__ at dinnertime.

False, no bizarre foods for me.

TJBM likes those little zingy sour candies called Smarties

Maybe. Sometimes if I’m nostalgic.

TJBM really craves the Dove Dark Chocolates!

Mmmm…chocolate. :-D

TJBM goes to the dentist faithfully every 6 months

False. I hate dentists ever since I was born!
TJBM is a crazy fan of non-superhero comics like me ;)

Well I still like Archie, and I’m about to turn 50.
TJBM is a maniac when it comes to chocolate.

That’s right! GIVE ME A BAR OF CHOCOLATE RIGHT NOW OR I’LL KILL YOU!
TJBM has run out of ideas about what to write next.

. . . . No . . . . But, “may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your crotch and may your arms be too short to scratch.

TJBM has another “may the . . ” to present to the jellies.

“May the dead rise from the grave and invade the whole world so that I have an exciting adventure!”
TJBM is cooking now.

May the poo of a thousand birds fall upon your windshield.

TJBM has been pooped on by a Sea Gull

Yes I have. And the damn fowl stole my chips, too!
The Jelly below me loves birds even though they steal chips.

Of course. Being the continuation of the mighty dinosaurs, they are your elders and you should bow to them.
TJBM weighs over 100kg.

No, but I’m trying to be :)
TJBM is dead muhahahahaw

Well..I will be dead asleep in about 30 minutes. lol

TJBM hopes I wake up tomorrow

False. Because I don’t want to disturb you when you sleep.
TJBM is a jelly a sign of “I’ve run out of idea” :(

No, I am an alien.
TJBM has an extensive, secret porn collection on his computer.

How disgusting. NO!

TJBM has a night job.

Well once in awhile I do have to pull a night shift,but for the most part I am on day shift.
TJBM is amazed at how truck drivers can back up 2 trailers at the same time.

Yes. That takes some skill!

TJBM enjoys watching old musicals.

True. Nat King Cole is one of my favorite singer.
TJBM loves cartoons!

Yes, especially old Looney tunes.

TJBM is going to do something one more time this year.

no real plans.
TJBM wants to do away with mission trips.

False. I don’t plan to go anywhere at the moment.
TJBM is celebrating 2014.

Not yet, I’m on the other side of the planet.

TJBM Is waiting for warmer weather. ( We just started Winter. )

False, California is in its 4th drought year, it has been 64–67 degrees for days here, extremely dry, we need rain and snow desperately!

TJBM needs a vacation

Nope. Tomorrow is my vacation :)
TJBM is a vampire.

Only to toothsome fruit and veggies.

TJBM loves the snow. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

yep
TJBM want to play that E.T. game.

Huh? I don’t know what the E.T. game is. lol

TJBM knows what the E.T. game is?

The E.T. game was an ultra shitty videogame for some game console that was pushed out in a few weeks and in which you could do nothing but creep around in a pit with a pixel E.T.

TJBM’s arm pits sometimes smell like semen.

False, there are much better places for semen than armpits.

TJBM has a dirty mind

No, but I have a pretty foul mouth at times.

TJBM knows curse words in at least a dozen different languages.

I wish, it is four at most, pendejo.
TJBM loves the taste of roasted puppy.

Oh I do, but don’t most people like a good hot dog once in a while.
TJBM forgot what they got for Christmas.

False.

TJBM was shocked to see how many responses were on this thread since the last time they saw it.

yep
TJBM celebrates new year’s on a different date.

Nope. I don’t “celebrate” New Year at all. I’m just as happy to be in bed on NYE.

TJBM is wearing comfy sweats today.

False, a dark blue lace skirt and beige top with blue earrings.

TJBM has puffy morning eyes.

Wrong, it is not my eyes that are puffy in the morning.
TJBM loves goose kebab.

Unknown. However, kangaroo loin is quite tasty.

TJBM has at least one picture of a pet nearby.

!00’s of them on my computer, yes.

TJBM woke up with a crick in their neck

No. No crick. My crick is in the back yard, but it’s frozen over right now.

TJBM just wrapped another Christmas present. sigh.

No. No christmas presents here.
TJBM is going to lose his hands in a premature explosion of a self made silvester cracker.

No..and wrong gender.

TJBM is cooking up a feast for New Year’s Eve.

Nope made pasta with meatballs but it was yummy
TJBM is NAKED while answering questions

Oh OH- – Is my laptop camera on ?

TJBM volunteers for local nonprofit organizations.

Occasionally. Not as much as I should.

TJBM has an unusual collection.

Yes, blown glass bowls and vases and goblets. Some are antiques, some are current, some are signed. Think I need to check my home owners insurance.

TJBM reviews their insurance policy for their home/apartment, every so often.

Only once a year, when we renew it.
TJBM will be in bed long before midnight.

True. Most likely around 9:30–10.

TJBM wants an ice cream cone

Just finished an ice cream with blackberry – rum sauce.

TJBM is out of ice cream, I need to stop at store for more.

It is winter, I do not need ice cream.
TJBM can tell me how to build a station on the Mun in KSP.

I live on Earth, I do not need a station on the Mun.

TJBM thinks blackberry – rum sauce sounds awesome.

True! WTF..who says you can’t eat ice cream in the winter!?

TJBM hates stupid little “rules.”

True. It’s life, I do not need little rules.

TJBM has been known to flail their arms and state in a monotone “Danger! Danger Will Robinson!” on rare occasion.

No. Just. No.
TJBM sometimes walks around like a dinosaur when no one is looking.

On rare occasion. lol

TJBM loves squash

False. I’ve never played squash the game. I’m not overly fond of squash the vegetable unless it’s yellow or, occasionally, zucchini, and I try to avoid squashing bugs because they’re cute and/or their guts stink like the dickens!

TJBM thinks cockroaches can be cool.

No, but they can be delicious.
TJBM loves the film “Last Action Hero”.

Never saw it. Arnie, right?

TJBM is wasted right now.

nope
TJBM is tired right now.

True. yawn
TJBM is planing for a murder hahaha

Nope. I’m pretty sure the crows in this area are gone for the winter.

TJBM gets very cranky when they are woken up.

No but my daughter and my dog do

TJBM has made a new years resolution or two

I’ve started my walking up again after falling off the exercise wagon. It’s been over a week and I have now walked a couple miles 5 out of the last 7 days. :-)

TJBM needs to ramp up their exercise

True. Ain’t gonna happen, though.

TJBM reads vociferously.

No, I read quietly, my wife gets upset if anyone reads out loud.

TJBM is watching the Rose Parade.

Nope. Hunting shows, How It’s Made, etc.

TJBM wants to find a 4 leaf clover this year.

Sure, but I would rather have the winning Lottery ticket.
TJBM is having a hard time getting motivated this morning.

Nope, made a Fritatta for breakfast.

TJBM wishes everyone a healthy and happy New Year.

I do! Happy New Year Jellies! May you find peace, joy and good health in 2014!

TJBM is “working” today.

Nope not till the 5th
TJBM is thinking very naughty thoughts right now.

Not naughty, just how much I hate my job and how much I hope I find a better situation this year. lol

TJBM hates their life right now

I hate all life.
TJBM Has seen the movie “Thunderpants”.

False, does Thunder dome count?
TJBM wonders why their parents didn’t practice safe sex.

I try to avoid thinking about my parents having sex.
TJBM talks in their sleep.

I live alone, so how would I know?
TJBM once imagined to have sex with a chicken.

…

TJBM thinks the above jelly is…just a bit odd.

True but what is life without a little oddity now and again
TJBM has a little French maid outfit that they wear on “special” occasions.

Absolutely!!
They sell those in men’s 3X right?

TJBM wishes full-service gas stations would come back in style.

Naw. It would just cost more.

TJBM has a relative who is afraid of a strange thing.

Yes. My mother-in-law is afraid of life.

TJBM owns or has owned a reptile or snake.

Well, not “owned” but…I had scads of tree frogs and lizards at my old house for years. There was always a lizard zinging around the house somewhere and the tree frogs took moths from your fingers under the porch lights at night. I miss all my little froggy friends.

TJBM likes to observe nature

Always.

TJBM uses little green army guys as a security system. We do, and we haven’t had a break in since we installed it!

No, but I love the idea.

TJBM has had someone walk on their back.

Yes, both literally and figuratively.

TJBM loves soaking in hot spring baths.

True. Unfortunately I never have a chance to.
TJBM is shocked at how popular this question is.

Not shocked at all.

TJBM thinks the past two holiday weeks have been like four mini-weeks.

Not sure, but I am exhausted

TJBM needs to do their banking and bill paying today.

True,just a bit of banking the Mrs already paid all the bills.
TJBM thinks people should show their humor more.

Absolutely! I’m a playful and humorous personality and nothing makes my day more than encountering someone that can play back. I had the greatest humorous exchange with a woman in a parking lot the other day. Lively, humorous people are rare indeed. :-)

TJBM has a playful personality

What you talkin bout Willis? Yup

TJBM Is glad they are not getting snowed in !

I wouldn’t mind it,would mean I wouldn’t have to go back to work on Sunday.
TJBM would rather be Bowling.

No, I do not like fondling balls.
TJBM could not sleep due to all the noise from the fireworks.

What fireworks? Actually, I couldn’t sleep because my dog had a coughing fit.

TJBM will recommend a good graphic novel.

Uh, I don’t even know what a graphic novel is. How about this? http://www.amazon.com/The-Complete-Calvin-Hobbes-BOX/dp/1449433251

TJBM has a political cartoon made about him/herself.

I do not think I do.
TJBM is cartoonish.

Not sure about cartoonish, but I have been called a clown. (No, not a Bozo!)

TJBM thinks we’re all Bozo’s on this bus!

Just to be different, I’m not a Bozo. Instead I’m giving my spot to this guy: http://gregmitchellwriter.blogspot.com/2013/04/bozos-on-bus.html

TJBM can dance well.

I think it would be more accurate to call it “spastic twitching”.
TJBM can not prove the Taniyama–Shimura–Weil conjecture.

Well I can do this!

“elliptic curves over the field of rational numbers are related to modular forms.” -wikipedia

TJBM has a cough.

Not anymore, I was sick the first 2.5 weeks of December.

TJBM thinks Nyquil is a wonder drug LOL

No, I have my own concoction! LOL

TJBM has 6 toes.

False. Thank goodness, as the pad of my foot is already too wide for boots my size.

TJBM revers rivers. Nature nurtures.

Yes!

TJBM is ready for bed

Absolutely true!
TJBM is sleepwalking.

mmmmmm…
t.j.b.m….

is going to bed.

TJBM wears footsie pajamas

It is spelt pYjamas.
And no, I do not.
TJBM has a thick accent.

No, I have a soft “West Country” (England) accent.

TJBM has got a headache.

@ragingloli Either spelling is correct, I use the american version.

False, but I have a tweaked neck. lol

TJBM does not want to work today

I’m not scheduled to work today, so it doesn’t matter. LOL

TJBM is reading 6 books at once. How can you keep them all straight?

Not six, only four. Only one is a novel, the others are one on the battle of the Little Big Horn from the perspective of the Native Americans, one called “Taking Sides Clashing Views in United States History – Vol. 1” (at this point about Boss Tweed) and one called “The Reindeer People” so it is not that hard to keep them separate.
TJBM has already begun their weekend even though there is still half a workday left

No! I have so much to do today I am rattled beyond words. lol

TJBM is trying to formulate a daily plan

Nope. I have a to-do list and days filled with appointments, travel & meetings..so the days are “planned” for me already. (Kind of like the paychecks are already spent..)

TJBM is expecting extreme cold weather.

Not as extreme as in the Northeast US. We’re expecting a bounce back down to seasonal.

^^^^ and…..? lol

TJBM is forgetful

Huh!? What? OH!

TJBM has trouble multitasking…

Not usually, I’m female and have a very fast brain. lol
TJBM is proud of themselves for something. Yay! I have walked 7 out of the last 9 days now!

Yes, this

TJBM has big plans for the new year.

Sure, I hope to survive it.
TJBM has no idea how important the trucking industry is to north america.

True, but I do know how important the trucking industry is to the prostitute-murdering industry.
TJBM’s brother is his father.

False. I am an only child and my father is dead.

TJBM has performance anxiety.

Of course not, I am perfect.
TJBM knows that dark meat is superior to white meat.

False. Eating the bloody flesh of another animal is ultimately cannibalistic.

TJBM has more than one face.

Nope, just one, I am not two faced. lol

TJBM likes to play Scrabble

Love it!

TJBM knows what’s for dinner.

True, Shake-n-bake chicken breasts, red beans and rice and squash.

TJBM wants to have dinner at my house

Just waiting your invitation!

TJBM will play Scrabble after dessert.

I do not play scrabble, nor do I have dessert.
TJBM wants to become a genetic engineer solely to make a catgirl.

True, but to make a mega goose.

TJBM is a walking trivia book

I am about certain subjects (Marvel Comics), but I do not have a PHd in Comic Book history, so you should take everything I say with a grain of salt.

TJBM will soon end relations with anyone lacking a PHd and pursue new ones by trolling the alumnai listings of Harvard, Stamford, MIT, Yale, and the like.

Not very likely.

TJBM has witnessed intellectual snobbery.

OMG hasn’t everyone?
TJBM once went streaking.

No, but I have gone steaking.
Mmmmm… filet mignon

TJBM has an excellent memory.

nope
TJBM would like this song.

Nope. Not enough punk.
TJBM has a furious hatred towards country music.

I wouldn’t call it a furious hatred, but yes, I do not like country music.

TJBM is eating cookies

No, I’m eating FRIED SPIDERS! just kidding :p)
TJBM knows when the first cookies were made.

Over 100 years ago.
TJBM has eaten dinosaur meat.

Yard bird for dinner, CHICKEN !

TJBM has the next day’s meals planned.

No, I have my meals planned, because I’m attending a wedding tomorrow.
TJBM tend to skip breakfast when they think it’s necessary.

I’m a 4 cups of coffee type, I never eat until about lunch time. I really should eat breakfast.

TJBM is a coffee addict between about 6:30 – 9 – 9:30 a.m.

Pretty true for me. I love coffee :)
TJBM once wanted to become a game designer so that they could bring their cool game ideas to life. I used to, and still do

False. The only game I was ever really interested in and addicted to was Donkey Kong. Original arcade version.

TJBM thinks May-December romances are (generally) folly.

Nothing but. lol

TJBM likes to watch the tree house builder guy show on TV.

False, I don’t know any show like that.
TJBM know what show @Coloma is talking about.

I think it is called “Tree house master”...then again…haha

TJBM will tell us the correct title

Treehouse Masters is on “Animal Planet” available for cable or satellite.

TJBM knows that not all jellies are North America based.

True. @Tropical_Willie Right! I am going to watch it here soon. lol

TJBM would love to design a tree house.

Yeah!
TJBM is cooking now.

Nope. Watching Labyrinth with my daughter. She chose the movie, but I’m the one who’s been muttering the secret words words. The goblins should be picking her up any minute. Ha!
TJBM Likes to see David Bowie in tights.

No. I’ll ask him to ch-ch-ch-ch-change into some pants! boo…
The Jelly below me can fly.

On big airplanes.

TJBM has freckles.

They were easy to see when I was a kid, but they’ve faded over the years.
TJBM Has tried to chase a rainbow for the pot of gold.

False, but I have chased birds through the woods with my binoculars. lol

TJBM likes birds

Sort of true, really like watching birds of prey such as eagles, hawks, owls, that sort of bird the rest not so much.
TJBM sleeps in the nude.

Only when the weather is warm or I have big huge down comforters to sleep under.
TJBM has been struggling with this latest cold front.

False, The Sierras are in a drought, 4 years now of below average rain and snow pack. It was 66 degrees yesterday, clear, sunny and very dry. We need rain and snow desperately!

TJBM is a practical joker

Nope, I’m the jack of diamonds.
The Jelly below me is freezing.

Cold, not freezing. I’m indoors, watching the furry little woodland friends in my backyard, freezing. Poor squirrels can’t figure how to stand on hind legs without getting snow up the whazoo.
TJBM got an unexpected tingle when they read, “snow up the whazoo.”

I would love snow up the whazoo!

TJBM is ready for football season to be over!

I hadn’t realized it started — but sure.

TJBM enjoys a good peanut butter and bacon sandwich.

Never tried it! Call me un-American but I actually don’t have an obsession with bacon.
The Jelly below me likes piña coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Not for about 20 years.

TJBM has had, is having, or will have a good day.

I did, thank you.

TJBM is still eating Hersheys Kisses from Xmas

I have no idea what those are.
TJBM has prepared himself for Ragnarök.

No, but I have Thor, Lady Sif, and Baldar on speed dial.

TJBM believes in ghosts.

@ragingloli They are iconic American chocolates.

No. Highly doubtful.

TJBM has a siamese cat sitting right next to them

No.

TJBM has been labeled “obtuse” here on fluther.

Yes I have.
The Jelly below me is glowing! Absolutely glowing!

No. I have not been exposed to sufficient amounts of radiation.
TJBM has thought about buying an iPhone, for the sole purpose of smashing it to bits with a an hammer.

Definately not. I put my personal resources to the best possible uses.
TJBM is dieing for some PANCAKES! and whipped cream.

Sure. Meet me at the Pancake House in 30 minutes, K?

*snowberry must still be at the Pancake House.

TJBM has a car that is newer then 2006.

Barely. 07 Camry.

TJBM is nearly frozen, due to the cold front.

Nope. Nice ‘n’ warm in front of the fire.

TJBM is up early this morning.

True. 4:30 AM

TJBM knows that prospective airport personnel are tested for low intelligence and given classes on how to be rude to people. Especially the TSA

OH yes. ..I have so many stories of rude, power-trippin’ crazy airport employees and TSA folk.

TJBM is having an adventure today.

Maybe, but right now I am sitll having coffee after sleeping in to a decadent 9:15 a.m.!

TJBM likes to take drives in beautiful places

Yes.

TJBM likes to go to dives and questionable places.

Sometimes, I’m brave and adventurious and can hold my own with anyone. lol

TJBM is loitering this morning well..it is noon now, time to get movin’.

This afternoon…
TJBM is doing family stuff later today.

TJBM is dyslexic?
Kinda. Us two girls are in the middle of an Eddie Murphy marathon. Right now we’re into the Shreks. Tomorrow will be probably the Dr. Doolittles.
TJBM is thinking about riding a sled.

Ohh, kinky. But no. They are all ugly.
TJBM thought that the scene in which a teen orders milk in a saloon was from Back to the Future 3, but then found out that it was from that shit movie “sidekicks”.

I don’t watch shit movies.
TJBM thinks I’m sexy, aaaaand they want my body.

nope.
TJBM wants to be like the borg.

NOPE
TJBM is fun, whimsical!

True, and a little high right now too. so I can be extra whimsical. lol

TJBM is fussy and difficult

Fussy, yes. But difficult, no.
By the way I’m having a difficult time right now dealing with some relationship problem and maybe this TJBM game will help me relax and forget the matter for a while
TJBM want to share a funny story.

The word of the day is Saleratus!

In Great Britain it’s called Bicarbonate of Soda. In the states they call it Bakin’ Soda! But what you don’t know is before all that, they called it Saleratus. So the next time you open your pantry and wonder what is that familiar box of white powder, hurry and write Saleratus across the front of the box, so as to remove all doubt!

TJBM has eaten an earthworm.

No, but I have eaten a spider.
TJBM wants to be devoured by a slime monster while being pumped full of aphrodisiacs.

No thanks, I;ll take the cyanide pill.

TJBM tried anew restaurant tonight and loved it.

½ true. I did try a new restaurant and love it. But it was a week ago.
TJBM hates schools!

I LOVE schools! Drawing them is especially fun.
The Jelly below me wants to escape.

True, but will have to settle for Calgon. lol

TJBM takes bubble baths

My daughter is a bath nut. I should be getting my pink bubble soap in fifty gallon drums!
TJBM has tried to count the stars, and can tell us what number they got up to before quitting.

Let’s see…1, 2, 3…I’ll have to get back to you on that….4, 5, 6…

TJBM likes to use large numbers.

It is over nine thousand!
TJBM wants to know what the scouter says about his power level.

I have no idea what that means, so false.

TJBM knows what a scouter is?

No, but I know what a scooter is.

TJBM knows someone who thought her/his given name was so bad that they changed it to something like “Scooter”.

Haha,,,no, but…. my goose went through a trans gander change and “Marilyn” became ” Marwyn.” lol

TJBM has been exercising more

TJAM HAD some leftover New Year Champagne.
TJBM knows how to keep the bubbles in champagne overnight after it was opened.

No need. Once it’s popped it just don’t stop!

TJBM rarely has anything left of holiday goodies.

False. Snowed in the past two days and trying to finish all those homemade holiday sweets off.

TJBM has seen a real live wild rat in their house before.

Not IN my house, but yes, actually I kept a a baby roof rat years ago. He tamed down pretty well but was fast as lightening if he escaped his tank.

TJBM likes little rodents

False. Hamsters, when I a kid were cool, but they don’t have those little rat tales.

I’ve had real live rats in a house that I owned, more than once. EEEEK!.

TJBM has had a bug as a ‘pet’.

No, but when I was young there was a kind of bugs (or beetles?) sold at small toy stores and they were very popular among children at my age. I wanted to have one too but my parents were all against it. So… oh well :(
Wonder if those things are still sold now…

TJBM is shocked that the number of answer for this question is now 366, the same number as the number of days of a leap year.

Woo! 367 up in here! Let’s get to 400!
The Jelly below me is 367 years old.

True. I’m an old soul in a middle aged body that is manifesting some wear and tear these days. lol

TJBM has been very active most of their lives

True, and retirement has not slowed me down.

TJBM is fluthering before coffee.

False. I’ve had coffee.
TJBM want to share an inspiring story.

I’m only a half cup in on my coffee over here, so, no. I will not be inspired for at least another 2 cups. lol

TJBM has cats that bounce off their heads at night

Nope. No cats.

TJBM can identify this quote:

Savor the fruit of life, my young friends.It has a sweet taste when it is fresh from the vine. But don’t live too long; the taste turns bitter after a time.

Despite over 20 years of formal university study, I cannot identify that quote from my own knowledge. In an episode of Star Trek Deep Space Nine in a conversation between Worf and Kor (both of Klingon origin) Kor says, “Savor the fruit of life, my young friends.It has a sweet taste when it is fresh from the vine. But don’t live too long; the taste turns bitter after a time.”

TJBM considers my answer to have involved some measure of dishonesty as I did not indicate the source of the information I used to obtain the answer. Shame on me for plagiarizing! But of course they would be wrong because my source can be found in the highlighted link in this sentence.

Good one, @Dr_Lawrence ! Not dishonest at all. I just happened to be watching an that episode. It was made, not during a conversation between Worf and Kor, but an impromptu speech made by Kor to the much younger crew members on the command deck.

TJBM savors the fruit of life.

I do. Always have.

TJBM hates it when people use “smart-sounding” catch phrases and “big words” when they have no idea what they really mean!

Mostly makes me giggle.
TJBM Makes me giggle.

I doubt that very much.
TJBM is a pretty pretty princess.

Why, are you looking for one?
TJBM eats beans the night before they have to spend time with someone unpleasant.

No, but now that isn’t a bad idea.
TJBM has no idea ,when truckers say I have to put on the jewlery means.

cockrings, probably.
TJBM knows at which point to apply retrograde Δv to minimise the velocity relative to the target after a Hohmann transfer maneuver.

False, sounds complicated.

TJBM wears adult diapers

No problems in that area…yet.

TJBM is older than they look/feel/seem.

I think I’ve about level out at 50 – look and feel.

TJBM has eaten snails.

Escargot YUM ! I use to have a set of shells for cooking them.

TJBM has had Coquilles Saint-Jacques, scallops, mushrooms and cheese.

False, but sounds delicious!

TJBM LOVES shrimp

TRUE! Yum. I particularly like the fact that 20 (per pound) and under (bigger!) are more and more affordable.

TJBM knows precisely it there is lint in their belly button without looking first.

True, no lint. My belly button gets a shower twice a day.

TJBM is tired today

Hell yes.

TJBM wants to be left alone today.

Oh yes…but alas, I have to work. Bah!

TJBM works with an annoying person

oh good gravy, I don’t have the words to describe how annoying.

TJBM has cracked skin from cold

No, I consistently use lip balm.

TJBM has lifted themselves out of poverty (or knows someone who has).

Well…I’m going for the 2nd lift this year. lol The older you get the harder it is to reinvent your situation, we shall see.

TJBM had an accident today that made them very mad! I spilled a bottle of water in my car all over some important paperwork. Bah!

False. But I shopped 3 major department stores in the nearest town without anyone ever acknowledging my presence if that makes you feel any better. Ah, well, I didn’t really have to have that $1500 fridge. The one I’m using is bare my ½ my age!

TJBM has walked out on a store and left their (unpaid) purchases in a conspicuous place before.

Only if I a need to use a bathroom, I have never just left stuff without buying it.

TJBM is having chili for dinner?

Considering it. I have 3 mason jars of chili left in the freezer, and I’m thinking of making nachos with it later.

TJBM is wearing something that has yellow in it.

True, but that’s a safe bet with me. I have on a yellow T under a dirty-yellow and blue sweat shirt.

TJBM hasn’t seen the back bottom corners of their freezer in years.

Ewww…haha True, my freezer is very clean.

TJBM has a body in their freezer

^^^ OH…I read “BLACK bottom corners”.. lol

True. A big, well-preserved chicken!
TJBM has just committed a murder.

Not if nobody finds out about it.
The Jelly below me is tired from a long day.

^^Woo! 400th response!

Yes, and it’s not over yet. haha

TJBM will band together and ask for this thread to be refreshed

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAASSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEE, somebody restart this thread!
There won’t be a jelly below ME becauuuuuse there will be a new thread started. :)

Tapping fingers

The Jelly below me is rebellious!

HERE it is…!

Why is part 52 closed?

So much for the 500-answers-per-question mark.

Who says this one is closed?
TJBM is really sick of winter.