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ETpro's avatar

[NSFW] What would happen if we really went to war against Christmas?

Asked by ETpro (34145 points ) December 27th, 2013

Mother Jones reporter Tim Murphy asks, and then gives us his answer in a whimsical Holiday article of the same name. Feel free to borrow from his ideas, correct him where you feel he misses the mark, or reject his notions and present your own. Christmas was co-opted from so called “pagan” religious celebrations of the Winter Solstice, but if you prefer to look at the SFW side of the day that the pagans may have enjoyed, click here.

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10 Answers

rojo's avatar

We could arm and train the mujahideen to fight a proxy war for us and then, once they defeated the enemy we could all be friends…......

…......Oh, Wait! That didn’t work out so well for us last time did it?

Seek's avatar

I’ll wait for Beltane, when we can all celebrate the great Goddess in the way she likes best: Bonfires, nude dancing, and casual and/or group sex.

DWW25921's avatar

Holidays mean different things to different people. Of course it will change. More for some than others. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I’m not going to reject any notions in the article although an Elvin uprising is unlikely… As I stated, holidays mean different things to different people and they always will.

talljasperman's avatar

Their would be more elf on elf porn.

talljasperman's avatar

@talljasperman I think this is the first time that I used their right.

ETpro's avatar

@josie Aren’t you glad we spent so much blood and treasure making Iraq a peaceful model of Western Democracy in the Middle East?

@rojo Yeah, we’ve been there and done that, but it failing has never got in the way of repeating the idiocy before. Why break a perfect record?

@Seek_Kolinahr I’m up for that if you can make it happen, but hurry up. I may not have much time.

@DWW25921 Good attitude.

@talljasperman Just did a quick search. Rule 43 stands yet another test. There’s plenty of elf porn on the Internet. In fact, elf porn may qualify as a corollary.

There is always a way to grind their gears using that set of words. They’re so sensitive to word use and prone to gear grinding.

talljasperman's avatar

@ETpro rule 43 or 34? Also I meant North Pole elves.

Pandora's avatar

The mother of all snowball fights will begin and someone will invent a snowball gun and snowball machine guns. But Santa will win. He will unearth the cold north winds upon the 4 corners of the world and freeze our butts into place. Of course the people in Siberia will not find conditions any different and they may be able to battle on.

ETpro's avatar

@talljasperman 34 vs. 43. Dyslexia stikres agian. As to Santa’s Elves. voila. The link is just a Google search. SFW. The links in the SERPs are almost certainly NSFW. I have not checked.

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