Send to a Friend

marmoset's avatar

I'm having a hard time relating to my friend/colleague after he did a rotten thing (not to me).

Asked by marmoset (934 points ) December 31st, 2013

There’s a small group of people, me and a few other freelancers in the same creative field. We’ve collaborated on some great, successful small projects over the years (10+ years) and although we started as just colleagues we’ve all become pretty good friends too—not soulmates but definitely caring/friendly.

One of us did a really rotten thing in his personal life. We all know, but are not very close with, the person he did this to. The rest of us know about what he did, and he acknowledges it and we know he really regrets it (or at least regrets getting caught), but we haven’t talked about it with each other much and I haven’t talked about it directly with him.

I am not feeling very good when I hear from him or see his updates on Facebook, etc. My aversion to him is more of an issue now that we all have another great opportunity to carry out a small project next summer/fall like the other ones we’ve worked on together in the past.

I feel like I might want to talk to him about this but I don’t know exactly the right approach and I’m questioning what would be the point. I’m not going to be comfortable with what he did. It doesn’t directly affect our work / final product. But the working relationship needs a basic degree of comfort from all of us.

Using Fluther


Using Email

Separate multiple emails with commas.
We’ll only use these emails for this message.