Meta Question

Symbeline's avatar

Have you ever flamed or otherwise attacked somebody on here?

Asked by Symbeline (30528 points ) January 23rd, 2014

Man, I come on here to relax and take it easy, and three threads in a row have deleted comments due to ’‘personal attacks’’. So I’m all about spreading bad moods and diseases everywhere. Share the fucking wealth, man.
So, you ever flamed anyone on here? Ever been a total ass?

But no, seriously. Sometimes it’s good to reflect on our darker side, and face it. Compared to our personal lives, online interactions seem petty…or do they? If they are, why do people do it? I mean, look at Facebook. Bullying, spying, some of it goes on the news. Emotions get the best of us, or sometimes…some people are just unholy man, just unholy. But who’s to say what?

But I want to know about Fluther. Now I’m not asking for super detailed experiences as this would entitle naming, and we cannot have this here. Remain vague, I guess this is just a yes or no question. I don’t want to stir up a can of worms. But I do want to spread my bad mood. :)
Ever attacked anyone on here?

To get the ball rolling, I have. I was not modded, and I don’t actually know why. This was a long time ago, and in a big thread. Maybe it just got missed. Another time too, although that time I didn’t use swear words or direct attacks, but I WAS an ass. I made up with the person though. It all makes it worthwhile. Like my dad often told me, the world is an ocean of shit, but struggle in it hard enough, there’s a flower growing in there worth reaching for. Just don’t forget, some of that shit is yours. Or something. So, go.

(if this question is too can of wormsy, which is not my intention but I see how it can easily turn into that, please flag/remove) Just really curious, though.

Also, I have not been attacked or anything recently, I’m not hosting some kind of secret pity party. (and even had I been flamed, I don’t want your pity. :)

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

60 Answers

jerv's avatar

I tend to come across as a bit of an ass because I’m a bit too honest and open for my own good. I’ve been modded a few times for pointing out facts in a less-than-tactful manner, and for sharing strong opinions, but I try to restrict myself to attacking posts instead of people. I don’t always succeed though.

Symbeline's avatar

@jerv Yeah, you’re pretty much an asshole most of the time, but as I’ve told you before, you’re a cool asshole. :)
Cmon don’t flag me, just messing around lol. You know a lot of stuff, so that’s cool, there’s some worse than you. :p

Mimishu1995's avatar

Nobody’s going to flag you @Symbeline . Just a moment ago I got an answer flagged for flame-bait. I really didn’t have any intention to flame (I never flame, except for some very rare moments), but it just got flagged. So like I used to say, I can’t seem to understand the mods’ mind.

jerv's avatar

@Symbeline I resemble that remark!

Symbeline's avatar

Did you break a rule? Mods can’t read minds, but there are specifications they need to observe, yeah? I mean by all rights, that answer I gave to Jerv should be modded. It does get a bit confusing sometimes, I certainly agree.

@jerv ya sure do, ya dang mofo :D

augustlan's avatar

@Mimishu1995 That was because you publicly pointed to a jelly you “hate”, which, as @Symbeline points out, isn’t allowed.

I once had a question removed as flame-bait (and it was). This was before I ever became a mod.

ucme's avatar

Only as an act of retaliation, some are just asking for it, be rude to ignore that invitation.

Symbeline's avatar

@ucme Always the gent, ya? :D

augustlan's avatar

I wish people would not retaliate. Always better to flag.

ucme's avatar

Too many examples of flagging that went ignored

ucme's avatar

@Symbeline Of course m’dear, i’m an englishman after all don’t you know?

Mimishu1995's avatar

@augustlan Really? That is also categorized as flame-bait? Sorry, I didn’t know that. Don’t kill me!!!

Symbeline's avatar

@ucme Capital, yo. Now hand me your lighter, my smoke just went out lol.

augustlan's avatar

@Mimishu1995 You may live. :)

longgone's avatar

I got modded for personally attacking someone once, don’t know how that happened. I can usually control my temper…
In response, @Adirondackwannabe advised me not to argue with crazy people, which I needed to hear. And my post was rather harsh.

The jelly I argued with has left quite a while ago, so no, I haven’t just called one of you crazy.

JLeslie's avatar

I guess I have. I’m usually modded for off topic comments not personal attacks. I try my best not to do personal attacks, not because of the rules or the mods, but because I think it isn’t nice and can destroy a discussion. I know just over a month ago a jelly felt like I was giving him a really hard time. I couldn’t figure out why he was so upset. I don’t think I was modded at all. He said a few jellies had PM’d him saying I’m ok, I am not the type to come after someone. I tried and tried to turn it around, but I couldn’t. I’m sure that jelly would say I attacked him, and I would guess other jellies would too. I would say topics like religion, or ones associated with religion, are probably the most likely where it happens. I think it is usually a misunderstanding.

syz's avatar

I remember flagging myself one time after some consideration.

ucme's avatar

There is no doubt an element exists here that actively seeks out confrontation, sometimes through questions that aren’t even well written enough to carry a hidden agenda.
The agenda is perfectly clear, considering their clumsy attempts at concealment, other examples can be found throughout a thread where these people hardly ever actually answer questions, but content themselves with sticking their self righteous beaks into otherwise friendly, harmless discussions.
These users are simply wired wrong & deserve to be treat with disdain, manifested by ignoring them altogether, or by amusing oneself by taking them apart verbally.
Still, the majority of users are okay & that’s the way it should be.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

No, I only blow flowers and perfume up someone’s ass when they piss me off. I have a temper, I’m sarcastic, and I’m impatient. I’m Mary Ray of Sunshine all the time. I still wonder why Auggie hasn’t sent me to the penalty box at times.

johnpowell's avatar

I have been drunk and when I visited in the morning I knew just enough to not click on certain questions.

rojo's avatar

@johnpowell Yeah, it is good to know your limits. As my brother-in-law said at the table one thanksgiving “Never get on ebay drunk”. That was all he would say about it and to this day we have not been able to find out what he did.

rojo's avatar

I have been modded but not for flaming someone, at least not that I remember. Life’s too short and I can get and give all the grief I need in person.

janbb's avatar

My critiques are so subtle they’re sometimes taken as compliments by people so no, while I have been caustic, I don’t really think I’ve flamed anyone. I’m more often modded for being off-topic in a General thread than flamey.

dxs's avatar

I’ve edited my response out for things I felt were flame-bait, but I don’t think any of my responses that have stayed have been modded for flame-bait. It’s pretty stupid for me to get frustrated here.

Coloma's avatar

Nothing horrible or abusive, but yep, I have called a few people out on their crap on occasion. I especially have no patience for those that want back up for lying, cheating and other unsavory behaviors. If the stupid shoe fits wear it, and don’t expect me to sugar coat my words if you’re a blatant idiot. lol

jca's avatar

I know I never “went off” on anybody but I know I have referred to people as “trolls,” and some of those comments have been modded off.

KNOWITALL's avatar

I’ve been attacked and went on the attack, mainly when I first got here after reading many disrespectful and mean threads where many jellies seemed to jump on others (imo.)

One jellie who no longer participates much actually threatened me with physical violence, which made me laugh because I’m pretty tough myself.

When I get ugly is when I feel disrespected or talked down to, and I try to apologize quickly, it’s just my stupid temper. And I’ve also been a little too honest about a few opinions and that didn’t go over well once or twice, but I’m living with the repercussions allright. In the end, I like ya’ll but I don’t need anyone’s approval.

livelaughlove21's avatar

Only when I feel I’ve been provoked or attacked first. If anyone has ever felt attacked by me without having deserved it, it most likely was not my intention to be rude. I hardly ever flag answers – when I do, I feel as if I’m a kid “telling” on someone to mommy (aka @augustlan). Nah, I’d rather defend myself against uncalled for attacks and let others flag all of it. I’ve gotten into quite a few heated arguments on here, but I wouldn’t call very many of them “abusive.” I don’t think a whole lot of what I say gets modded. I try to keep it civil, but I do have my buttons that, when pushed, make it hard for me to help myself at times.

Seek's avatar

Certain people really get on my nerves, and I do occasionally refrain from self-censorship.

And when I know the person I’m perturbed with is active on the thread, as well as a mod, I’ll let fly, knowing the person will see exactly what I want to say to them, and the mod will almost instantly remove it.

Best of both worlds.

Some_Ghost's avatar

Let me tell you something, life is much too short for hating and fighting. Believe me.

thorninmud's avatar

I’ve gotten a little snarky a couple of times, but that’s about as far as it’s gone.

There was one member who was banned from here a few years back for some nasty behavior. He then went to another site and began painting himself as the innocent victim of Fluther fascism. I admit that I did create an account on that site specifically so that I could call him out for the lies he was telling.

“My name is thorninmud. You slandered my Fluther. Prepare to die”.

johnpowell's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr :: I have done the same. I let lose and then flag my response after about five minutes.

Mimishu1995's avatar

@thorninmud Sometimes people can’t seem to realize their faults and when things went wrong, they just blame others…

KaY_Jelly's avatar

I’m bipolar.

LornaLove's avatar

Yes, I’ve been an ass. I have sat and thought palm face why did I say that? Like anyone in life I find some people irritating and other’s not. The one’s I admire here are able to say things without being asshole (like I am at times) and stay calm.

I’ve also pissed people off who I really didn’t mean to at all as I liked them.I’ve even written an apology and if they don’t reply and accept then I say fuck you you cant accept an apology then you are not someone I want to hang out with anyway, right? Palm face there I go again!

What to do? That is life. I’ve had loads of comments removed, if I recall correctly and flagged some of my own comments as well as others.

ibstubro's avatar

I’ve never intentionally flamed someone, and I don’t know if I’ve been modded for it, since those posts are removed.

I find that it’s usually enough just to repeat the offending words back to the offender, in the mirror image, if necessary.

Ignorance (the lack of knowlege) I can deal with, willful ignorance I find difficult to stomach or ignore. Silliness I like, stupidity I can’t abide. Probably the haters I find the hardest to relate to and stand. Those members who seem to see their function to be posting “What a stupid pucking question!” and derailing as many threads in a day as sub-humanly possible. I try to pity them, but I can’t relate in any way, so I often respond. Usually as I mentioned above.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@LornaLove @KaY_Jelly Both of you have a free pass with me. You make me smile when I need it. That’s worth a lot.

Coloma's avatar

^^^^ Awww…group hug! haha

Now, don’t annoy me and I won’t have to verbally fillet you. ;-p

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@Coloma What’s a crazy CA wackjob going to know about flaming?

LornaLove's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe Ha ha! Likewise. I recall one night nearly peeing myself with laughter at some experience you had with an animal that kissed or bit you.The details are blurry right now. Oh my word! It escalated from there. I love having a good laugh here. It is missed :)

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I’ve been really busy, but it won’t last too long. I love a great laugh.

KaY_Jelly's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe ;) The best thing about you is that you are you and that is awesome. I know if I ever need anything you are there. ♡♡

You also give great advice.

ucme's avatar

There’s one member who blows everything out of proportion, exaggerates harmless banter & translates it to a negative, most likely to satisfy their need to bitch & complain.
That sort of behaviour deserves nothing more than to be ridiculed, to appoint yourself as some sort of amateur psychologist, failing miserably in your theories, suggests that individual is lacking something major in their life.

KaY_Jelly's avatar

It’s not my fault. And if it is, see my original answer..I’m bipolar. And if I’ve flamed because of this person..again see my original answer. =-O I wish I could do a sarcastic emote face. What do you think that would look like?

Maybe this?

(︶ω︶)
I don’t like that one though it looks likes it has hangy balls for a nose.
(º_º)

This is my actual sarcastic face, I can’t believe it took me so long to get here.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

CWOTUS's avatar

No, I’m one of the nice people.

janbb's avatar

@CWOTUS That’s why I want you to answer my questions.

Coloma's avatar

@CWOTUS Indeed! :-)

Paradox25's avatar

I debate people strongly since I appear to be in the fringe on several topics on here, which some mistake for attacks it seems. I may strongly criticize the other person’s answer during a debate, but I can’t recall attacking another user directly or their character. I’m not sure if many Q & A sites are the proper place for strong debate on sensitive topics though, especially where there is a strong leaning towards one side of an issue on a site.

I did defend myself one time on here very strongly, and I don’t regret it, and I would do it again. Simply disagreeing with one’s points during a debate where I did not attack the user or their character did not warrant the attacks against me that followed it. This was a frequent occurance to me on sodahead, which has way more flamers than here. I will debate my opposition very strongly on issues that I care about the most.

Symbeline's avatar

I heard a lot of horror stories about Sodahead.

alphabetpony92's avatar

@ucme Hmm… your reply rang so many bells. I wonder if you’re talking about the same user I’m thinking about. Your description is quite uncanny. I’d hate to name names.. and this user is probably not an intentional attacker, just incredibly annoying. I mean, I’m new here and already I’ve been driven up the wall by them and my blood began to boil. I just did not want to debate further or defend myself like some users on here mentioned that they like to do. The first reason is because I hate debate. The second reason is because I did not want to add fuel to the fire. And also, desperately defending yourself at every chance you get makes you look.. desperate? Letting go and moving on is a good thing to practice, even if you suck at it initially.

ucme's avatar

Ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong.

Paradox25's avatar

In my opinion youtube, yahoo answers and answerbag are a million times worse than sodahead. Sodahead had its faults, but I had never seen anyone on there praise a person for torturing a cat, threatening to beat up a teen male rape victim or make threats against others. Sodahead is filled with people who have strong political views, but it rarely went beyond that, and if it did those users got banned. Damn even facebook is worse than sodahead.

Symbeline's avatar

Lol Answerbag. I was on there years ago. Changed quite a lot since I fucked on off ootay dar.

And yeah, Yahoo Answers is terrible. Never got an account there, but spend half an hour checking out questions and it’s like, dude…

livelaughlove21's avatar

@Symbeline “fucked on off ootay dar.”

Say what?

Mimishu1995's avatar

I think I’ve just attacked somebody. But I’m not sure. Like usual, I never have any intention to flame or attack, but the asker seem to be very irritated. I’ve just asked a meta question regarding that issue to see what is going on.

Symbeline's avatar

Hm, I’m not seeing your question anywhere.

Mimishu1995's avatar

I posted it, but it got kicked back. Apparently the mods aren’t pleased to see a question referring to a specific jelly…

ibstubro's avatar

Oh, heel no, @Mimishu1995. You can’t mention another Jelly in a negative light. For obvious and practical reasons. You call them out, then they call you out and before we know it there’s a flame war. All is modded. Needless and pointless work for the mods.

Can you re-ask the question in a neutral way? If you want to PM your question to me, I’ll try to help you re-phrase it.

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