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laura98's avatar

How do I talk to him? Please help!

Asked by laura98 (151 points ) February 10th, 2014

So there is this extremely handsome, sweet, shy guy that goes to my school. We have Algebra 2, Lunch, and English together, but the only class where we sit somewhat close to each other is Algebra and my teacher hates when students talk. Anyway, it was around December when I decided to possibly turn the gears and actually try to talk with him at least. Well, I’m an extremely passionate person and I suppose my ideas for advancing romantically on someone are at times a bit extreme. I was somewhat naive and told one of my friends if it was alright if I asked him to the upcoming winter formal. Well she ended up telling a lot of people and he found out.

He said to my friend that he wouldn’t go with me because he didn’t know me that well, which is completely understandable, but it bummed me out. At the dance my friend actually went up to him and he said he didn’t like me that way. I may have been out of hand, but I honestly was on the verge of tears.

I somewhat moped around school dragging my feet to and from each class wondering what was so wrong with me that he didn’t in the least bit find me somewhat attractive. I of course am in no way mad at him for not liking me, but more mad at myself. I didn’t even know the kid that well. We said about two words to each other and sometimes exchanged glances, that was it.

I was thinking, could he have just said he didn’t like me because he has no clue of the person I am? He doesn’t know my personality. Personally, if I don’t find a guy attractive at first they usually grow on me as I talk with them more. Their personality takes over and makes them this lovely person whom I’m both physically and emotionally attracted to.

Overall, I haven’t talked to him/ associated with him for a couple months out of complete embarrassment, but I still see him and my heart flutters a bit. I just want to know if I still have a chance and if so, how would I even possibly be able to get to know him? He’s incredibly shy, but the most adorable thing. I wouldn’t even mind just being friends because he seems like such a genuine person. I don’t know how to talk to him and I just want at least a chance to show him this person who is hiding on he inside. Please help and thank you very kindly to anyone who answers!

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10 Answers

talljasperman's avatar

Maybe he is putting high school first, relationships second. Meet him in social evens like a dance, or a holiday week end is a good idea. For men no means no too… Maybe you can focus on your education and speak all you want when you graduate high school.

CWOTUS's avatar

Welcome to Fluther.

Look, you never had a chance (apparently, based on what you’ve written) and you don’t “have a chance” even now. So what’s to be lost if you just cozy up to him, flutter your eyelashes and flirt with him? Ask him out directly instead of hinting to others that “maybe this, maybe that”. Who knows what they actually told him? Who knows what he understood from what was said to him? Who knows what he actually said to your friend? Who knows how well your friend interpreted what was said?

Talk to the boy! Don’t ask us again until you have and he has shot you down, in flames, directly, himself. We’ll have other ideas then.

Talk to the boy!

Judi's avatar

And he could be gay. Don’t take it personally. Move on or you will border on stalking.

kritiper's avatar

Don’t push it! Be a friend.

gailcalled's avatar

Is this the same guy you asked about in July? He was probably one of the most handsome guys I have ever seen. www.fluther.com/162019/how-do-i-talk-to-him-and-not-be-creepy/

Smitha's avatar

I know it’s really hard when people don’t feel for us the same way we feel for them. If you are going to stay around him without any communication, all you’re going to do is keeping loving him and eventually will end up with a broken heart. You can either move on or try being friends with him. If you really interested in going ahead with this, just try to be friends. When asked directly I guess shy guys normally tend to deny that they are interested and may also tend to avoid the girl out of embarrassment. So for the time being just be comfortable staying friends at first. Once he feels comfortable, he will come out of his shell and start talking to you.

Eggie's avatar

In your details I am only hearing of your friend, giving you the message. Don’t trust your friend in that respect, I am telling you based on experience. You want a definite answer, go talk to him. That would:
1) Allow you to know for sure what he likes in you and what he does not like.
2) Improve your chances with him, because he could/would/should admire you for your courage.

I really liked a girl who was really hot in college one time in my life, and a friend told me that I was wasting my time and that she would not be interested in me. The girl and I dated for a whole semester….with all the trimmings involved.

Just one more piece of advice, dont come on to him to strongly if you are going to talk to him. Invite him to something casual, be very suttle, flirt with him for with the aim in mind to have him ask you out on a date.

GloPro's avatar

“Sooo, I know you and I have not really gotten to know each other, but we have a few classes together and you seem like a really nice, genuine person. I hope we get the chance to get to know each other better. See you around?”

If you tend to ‘be extreme,’ then I think the above sentence shouldn’t be that hard. It’s honest, up front, and not over-the-top. It does put the ball in his court, but from that day on just be nice, smile, say hello. Ask about his weekend, the Olympics, whatever. Just be nice. You don’t have to date everyone you get to know better, so who cares if he isn’t interested romantically. All friendships begin with putting it out there. Good luck!

LornaLove's avatar

While you are ‘mooning’ over this guy, you are losing opportunities to meet other guys who will like you. If what your friend said is true, move on and become interested in life and your fiends. Now that is attractive. :)

KNOWITALL's avatar

Ugh, highschool. First you are being passive-aggressive, asking friends to ask him anything, not cool. And you need to stop, it’s creepy and slightly pathetic. Not to be mean, but if he starts a bunch of creeper rumors about you, it won’t be fun. :( Sorry babe, move on.

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