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How do I get my friends to butt out of my relationships?

Asked by justanotheruser (53 points ) February 24th, 2014

This is almost too complicated to get into. Long story short: I’m a female in my mid-twenties who recently broke up with a partner of two years. He and I had a rough year last, death in the family, change of jobs, financial highs and lows. We decided to split at the beginning of this year but have recently started seeing each other about once a week and are wondering if we made the right choice to split so suddenly. We genuinely love one another. Neither one of us is blameless in our breakup but we’re both good people with good heads on our shoulders. That counts for something, I think.

Two close, old friends of mine have always hated him and have an opinion on every aspect of our relationship. Luckily, the rest of our circle is a little more neutral. Admittedly, this is somewhat my fault. I over-confided in them when I was furious with him and of course, they now see him in a very negative light.

I’ve asked them to please leave me alone about the fact that I’m seeing him again. (they don’t even live in the same area as me anymore, by the way so it’s not like it affects them at all). I’ve spoken to my therapist about this and she agrees that I need to make my own decisions without any outside influences, even if they are trying to be ‘helpful’. I’m a smart woman and can figure it out on my own. They say he’s being “manipulative”, and yes, he has been in the past, but I think it’s really inappropriate that they see fit to get involved at all.

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