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raven860's avatar

What do you think of the answer to this question?

Asked by raven860 (2144 points ) March 22nd, 2014

http://www.girlsaskguys.com/other/q790076-what-s-best-way-to-forget-about-humiliating#a4174700

What do you think of the answer by the guy there that was rated “Most Helpful”? Why?

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8 Answers

GloPro's avatar

I thought it was a nice pep talk. The further along I get in my life the more I realize that those people that were cool in high school got stuck there. It was, sadly, the best days of their lives. The perceived nerds went on to accomplish more things and were more driven. If you can get past how insignificant high school really is in the grand scheme of things then it’s easier to get out there and find true friends and explore your interests. Don’t waste time thinking back on people you won’t ever see again.

whitenoise's avatar

I liked it.

Cruiser's avatar

His answer was pompous and grandiose and didn’t even touch on or come close the answering the question on how to get over the verbal abuse she endured. Why it was selected as best answer is beyond comprehension other than the fact that the answer simply demonized the verbal abusers. Basically saying beating up on the meanies is the solution to life’s problems.

raven860's avatar

@Cruiser

Interesting. Although I suspect that the best answer may have been rewarded due to dearth of more responses… I think it was a good answer in the sense that it takes the blame away from the victim and lets them see a brighter to side to the events. Victims of bullying typically may be seen as timid and not courageous since they didn’t stand up to the abuse at the time. They are also typically given all the blame by bullies, by critics and some very unskilled supporters and that in my opinion is the last thing they need. Nothing in the answer mentioned seemed false to me… it indeed takes a lot of courage for a bullied victim to go about their daily lives facing their tormentors than it does for a bully who simply is part of a herd that is oppressing the targeted individual.

Its ironic that you say that it does nothing to solve their problems… because I think it actually does a lot more than what some traditional answers will say.

We tend to despise murderers, rapists and terrorists in our society. Bullies… who subject extreme amounts of torment onto their targets are essentially killing and devastating people without physically killing them. Sympathizing with them only strengthens them in the sense that they won’t have any serious repercussions to face. Showing a very strong disdain and punishing them for actions is what will bring results.

raven860's avatar

@whitenoise

Thank you for your response but could you please elaborate and tell us why you liked it.

Cruiser's avatar

@raven860 All well and good but I stand by my observation that the answer does not even touch on the original question and why I fail to see justification for it being the best answer. Had the question said how should one react to a bully then yes it is a good answer. But the question asked…“What are some ways to try to get over it?” and this best answer did nothing to offer ways to get over their experiences.

raven860's avatar

@Cruiser

Hmm, I see what you mean. However, I was thinking that most of all “traditional therapy” may involve starting with the base that the bullied individual did drop the ball and it was their fault for what happened. Then they talk about how to move forward from that point as to how they can get back to being themselves. That response suggests that the bullied individual see it from a different light… a light in which they are not as responsible for what happened ( so they don’t keep beating themselves down etc) and this allows them to forego some of the wounds that were festering and heal from that point on.

Cruiser's avatar

@raven860 Like I said the response was a good one in that they addressed the nasty nature of bullying and the author clearly is capable of articulating his thoughts clearly. I would like to hear what he would suggest as coping strategies for getting over being bullied as the OP asked.

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