General Question

talljasperman's avatar

How do I get my father to stop groping people?

Asked by talljasperman (19172 points ) March 25th, 2014

He hugs people and grabs their ass. He did it to me in front of my girlfriend and she ignored it. I brought it up with her 14 years later an she unfriended me in Facebook while calling me a liar. My father wants back in my life and I wouldn’t mind if he “gets hit by lightning” gets help first.

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10 Answers

gailcalled's avatar

Are you referring to a unique event that took place 14 years ago, which your then girlfriend claims was not the case? Does he do this routinely still? If he is not in your life, how do you know?

You have mentioned often being both isolated and lonely. Why wouldn’t you want a chance to reconnect with your father?

zenvelo's avatar

He groped you or he groped your old girlfriend?

And why would you bring it up to her on Facebook?

talljasperman's avatar

@gailcalled he did it several time when I was in junior high, and high school, college and university, I’ve stopped talking to him for 14 years. @zenvelo He groped me in front of my girlfriend and I’m pissed off that they don’t see it… So I have no witnesses. I called the cops one time and they didn’t care without proof… I was his employee and he keeps getting away with hurting people. @gailcalled My friends dumped me when I told them that my father molested me and they called me a liar and trying to play for sympathy. I shared his bed since I was 4 until 12 and we didn’t have enough rooms for everyone. He would sleep with his hand on me… it freaked me out. He keeps telling rape and incest jokes, and jokes about not dropping the soap. ect.

gondwanalon's avatar

If you don’t like your father because of the poor way that he treats you then stay away from him.

gailcalled's avatar

Did you ever press charges? Does your mother know?

Jonesn4burgers's avatar

Hand him a lightening rod, and step back.

susanc's avatar

The stuff you list here is actually sick and I’m sure it’s the tip of the iceberg. Talk to your mother if she’ll listen. He might be able to get help if everyone around him isn’t hell-bent on protecting his sorry ass. Good for you to try. You have my sincere sympathy for having such a hideous presence in your childhood and adolescence. Be done with it. Very brave.

anniereborn's avatar

He sounds very toxic. My suggestion would be to stay far away from him. That behavior is far from appropriate. It is abusive and no one should have to be subjected to it.

KNOWITALL's avatar

If he abused and molested you, and didn’t get help or acknowledge the issue, then you need to stay away, get yourself mentally healthy, and move forward in life. He is not worth your mental health.

talljasperman's avatar

@all thanks for the support.

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