General Question

Khajuria9's avatar

How can you judge a person's real intentions ?

Asked by Khajuria9 (1843 points ) March 29th, 2014

What do look for in a person that helps you decide? What things specifically?
How can you be sure?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

12 Answers

gailcalled's avatar

Take your time, procede cautiously, use your life experience, don’t set the bar too high.

Obsere his relationship with his family and friends.

Do all this in real life and not online.

Coloma's avatar

You can’t, not until you have known them quite awhile to see how they consistently show up.
It can take years, if not decades to gain some small measure of character with many.
Yes, it is all about observation, and remembering that actions speak louder than words.

gailcalled's avatar

edit; observe

Espiritus_Corvus's avatar

Only by questioning those intentions. If you suspect that a person is not being totally out front with you, tell them so immediately and tell them why. Don’t waste one more minute on them if they take exception to this.

janbb's avatar

I don’t think there are any shortcuts; I think it takes a lot of life experience. I know that most of the people I trusted implicitly have proven themselves trustworthy but I have met a lot of people by now.

Response moderated (Writing Standards)
cheebdragon's avatar

I have friends that I’ve known for almost 15 years and I still wouldn’t give any of them a key to my house, lol.

Bill1939's avatar

When circumstances seem to warrant it, people who have been known to be trustworthy can act differently.

Afos22's avatar

Timing, expression, history, personality, their benefits, mood, relationships with those involved. Be a detective, consider the details, look at the big picture, don’t be afraid of not knowing, don’t jump to conclusions, be careful of assumptions, really empathize, use your imagination, consider others’ opinions. Asking the person will give you the most important information.

chinchin31's avatar

You never get to know anyone fully in this life. It is a risk we all take. Especially when you get married. Also people can change over time depending on their life experience. Sometimes our beliefs might be x but when we experience certain events in our life they can change completely.

You can try to take precautions though . I think after about 1 year you can pretty much have some sort of idea of who a person is if you see them regularly and having meaningful conversations as opposed to just hanging out. Also you need to meet most of their friends and main family too and observe how they interact with them .

And in a relationship with someone new. hahah.. Hold out on sex as long as possible cuz having sex too soon can make you sometimes stay longer than intended with someone that is not good for you also it may help to weed out players.

I think you should wait at least 6 months and in that time you should have met most of their friends and main family members and are comfortable being around them.

The same can be said for living together. Think a lot about it before you do it. There are a lot of people in bad relationships that are living together but they are afraid of breaking up the relationship because they got so used to living with someone and are afraid of going back to being alone.

Open communication and taking your time to get to know people is the key to trying to understand anyone’s intentions. If there is something they are avoiding talking about it usually is a red flag but not necessarily.

Afos22's avatar

6 months? what year is it?

chinchin31's avatar

okay 1 month ha!!

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther