Social Question

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

If a person were congratulated begrudgingly or out of sympathy, is that a genuine pat on the back or something else?

Asked by Hypocrisy_Central (21613 points ) March 31st, 2014

If you congratulated someone on a promotion, a recognition, etc. and did not like the person, why would you do it? If it were at work or in class, would you feel obligated to do it because that is what is done, would you do so just out of GP, or sympathy? If you did not like the person why not pass on patting them in on the back, especially if they did not expect you to in the first place?

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10 Answers

Nullo's avatar

Pleasantries are the grease that keep the social cogs turning.

longgone's avatar

Would I congratulate someone without meaning it…hm.

If I’m put into a position where not saying anything would be awkward, yes. Otherwise, I would simply avoid the situation. If I congratulate someone I, that’s because I genuinely think they’ve earned it. I don’t get hurting people intentionally for no reason.

Cruiser's avatar

In my world like and respect are two distinct and separate areas of existence. I may not like someone but I always allow room to respect a person on merits of their talents, abilities and effort. What never fails to take me by surprise is when someone thinks I do not like them because we do not always agree…debate is one of the best forms of education I know of. I hated school because of the rigidity but I love to learn and debate is highly flexible and can be raucous! I love raucous!

KNOWITALL's avatar

No idea, maybe a sign someone is willing to open a door to communication? Thank them & see!

SpatzieLover's avatar

If…by chance…we’re talking hypothetically about congratulating at a pancake/lurve party @Hypocrisy_Central, then I’d say just take it as a “high five” after a big game.

You might not like the players on the other team, however the polite thing to do is to thank them for playing the game via a high five, maybe a head nod thrown in for good measure.

I no longer go to pancake parties, but am glad to see you make the 20K club ;)

Symbeline's avatar

Eh, he knows how I feel. :D

whitenoise's avatar

It may just be politeness, does that matter?

GloPro's avatar

@Cruiser I get that same surprise from people. Mostly women, but people are surprised that I can completely separate one discussion for my like or dislike of someone. This is particularly true at work or in a business decision.
I don’t offer false support or apologies. I try to find something genuine to congratulate someone on. There is always something.

rojo's avatar

It depends, there is no pat answer.

I have done it out of a sense of obligation, I have done it out of sympathy and I have done it to be polite and because, although I truly did not care one way or the other, I thought they might appreciate the gesture.

augustlan's avatar

If an achievement deserves a congratulations, it deserves it whether or not I’m personally fond of the person who has achieved it. If a person I loathed found a cure for cancer, I’d sure as hell congratulate them on it. :)

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