Social Question

flutherbrother's avatar

Do you miss text messages from people you (presumably) like?

Asked by flutherbrother (13 points ) April 2nd, 2014

I am very good about my text messages and have trouble imagining anyone who is bad at answering people unless they do not want to talk to them. But I’ve been told by someone/people that they’re “bad about answering texts.” Is this for real? Are you people actually out there? Or is this a line?

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11 Answers

Cruiser's avatar

An answer like…“they’re “bad about answering texts.” is like someone saying “you are a nice guy and deserve better” or “let’s just be friends”…IMO they are trying to be nice and that they are really not interested.

Mimishu1995's avatar

Yeah, I miss, a lot! It gets to the point that people who don’t know me much (but I like) get annoyed.

The main reason is because I usually turns off the ringtone and sometimes have to leave my mobile phone. And very often when I receive the message it has been sent for more than 6 hours!

That’s why I prefer making phone call :)

Pachy's avatar

No, but I miss personal interactions—you know, when you actually talk to an old friend while looking him or her in the eyes.

LornaLove's avatar

Most of the time, I am living life, rushing about or working I don’t have time always to answer a text message nor do I have a desire to. My cellphone is last on the list of my focus. One’s need for my attention does not actually equal getting my attention.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

I don’t TEXT, I know it has it’s place but it has gotten way out of hand and for some it’s like a freakin addiction, 95% of the time my damn cell phone is off it’s for me to get ahold of people I have to NOT the other way around.

johnpowell's avatar

I don’t text a lot. Even e-mail too. If you didn’t ask me a question I will not respond. My sister e-mailed me a few months ago saying that she bought a bunch of new houseplants.. I don’t really care and I am not sure why I should respond.

Afos22's avatar

I’d say, it probably means they have a dumb phone and never look at it

GloPro's avatar

It is possible they have texting linked to both phone and iPad. When it registers on iPad it does not show as a new text on phone. My sister has to pull up our text conversations on her phone occasionally just to see if she has missed any of my texts. It isn’t uncommon.

hearkat's avatar

What some people are describing, I wouldn’t call “missing” texts. When I am at work, the phone is silenced and I put it in Do Not Disturb mode, which disables all notifications and alerts except those from my “favorites”. I receive messages and calls during that time, but I am at work, so I will not respond right away. The majority of my friends and family understand that, and appreciate that they would not want their health care providers disrupted by notifications during their visit.

I use Do Not Disturb when I am at dinner or the movies or any other time I want to focus. I also have notifications turned off for all my apps, except for the important ones – I have several social media accounts and hundreds of friends and followers across those accounts – I don’t want a ding or pop-up every time someone does something on those.

Mobile devices are a tool, and we can choose how their use best suits their purpose in our own lives. The first thing I do when I get new hardware or software is to explore the Settings and customize them the way I want – which is minimal distractions and noises of any sort, in my case.

When I have free time, I look at my device(s) and choose which activities I want to engage in. The badges will show me if there is a new message for me, so I will look at them and deal with them as I deem appropriate. Similarly, I do not expect instantaneous replies to my messages, unless they are important, because in respect that my friends and colleagues are as busy – if not more so, than I am. I do not like phone calls, and it think they should only be used for emergencies or urgent matters. If you just want to know if I want to go to the movies next weekend, send me a text or email, and I’ll respond when I can.

If anyone I knew gave me flack about not replying to their messages quickly enough, they would be told the above; and if they don’t respect that, then they will not be on my social radar for long. In business scenario, if they were demanding of time and attention, I find other ways around having to deal with that person, such as finding another contact in that company.

livelaughlove21's avatar

I’ve heard people say this as well, and I think it’s BS. Only on rare occasions have I read a text and forgot to answer it, and it’s usually nothing that requires a response. My best friend will text me things about her students or things that happened to her and they don’t exactly call for a response, but I like to send one anyway. I remember one or two times I went back into my texts and realized I didn’t answer her – usually because I was too busy to answer when it was sent. However, I never leave it unanswered, even if I’m late.

Semi-related story: My husband and I were asked to be his friend’s wedding, me as a bridesmaid (though I’ve known this girl a very short amount of time) and him as a groomsman (the groom was one of his close friends from before we met and they recently reconnected). We’ve hung out with them a few times, but now they’re not answering texts or Facebook messages and I get the nagging feeling we’re being ignored. There was no fight or anything, so I don’t really get it. I sent her a text about the bridesmaid dress I just ordered on Saturday and never received a response. My husband sent the guy a text about the house they just bought, and he was randomly stopped responding. A week or so ago, my husband sent the girl a message on Facebook asking about her job because his mother is looking for similar work – no response. I’ve had a feeling from the beginning that they only asked us, or at least me, so they could have three bridesmaids and three groomsmen. You know, I’ve already dropped $250 on this wedding, and I still have to get my shoes, my husband’s attire, and their bridal shower and wedding gifts. I’m not too happy about putting all of this money into their wedding if we’re just there as warm bodies and nothing else. My husband says he has a feeling we’ll be going our separate ways after the wedding. I’d rather not go to any of these events at all, let alone be in it. I don’t have anything in common with them. We had fun when we hung out and they seem(ed) like really nice people, but I have a feeling the bridal shower and bachelorette party will be really uncomfortable for me without my husband there as a buffer. I’m pretty bummed about the whole thing, especially the money aspect, and I think it’s pretty shitty of them to cut off communication with it was them that asked us to be in this wedding. I sort of wish she’d tell me she picked another girl. I’d lose some money, but I’d save myself from spending more.

Seek's avatar

Most of my interaction with my friends is through Facebook. My cell ‘phone is for my husband to call to ask if I need a gallon of milk on his way home from work, and a WiFi hotspot provider. That’s about it. It’s set to silent notifications, and to vibrate if someone calls.

If you text me, I might not get it until I bring my phone into my bedroom at 11:00 PM. And then, if I remember to look for it. If you need me right now call or send a message on Facebook. And no promises I’ll answer.

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