Social Question

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Would a young child having much older parents possibly be a victim of bullying at school?

Asked by ZEPHYRA (15301 points ) April 7th, 2014

Do you know of any such cases? Is it possible for a kid at school to be teased or tormented for having older parents? Is it selfish for older people to want to be parents? I guess they don’t think of the drawbacks for their child while growing up. The benefits are few I think, but the problems far outweigh them, what do you say?

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12 Answers

GloPro's avatar

I wasn’t bullied. My parents were 40 when I was born. I also don’t think bullying was as big of an issue that long ago. Thank you, social media.
Is it selfish for older people to want children? Hmmm, no more than it is for a 16 year old to want a child so someone would love her even though her parents will now foot the bill and help raise her child. An established adult couple may even be able to better provide for a child’s needs, and be more prepared for raising a baby. Both of my parents were in stable careers, had bought a home, and built a solid foundation for a family before having one. I don’t think age had anything to do with my being ignored by them. They just weren’t suited to be parents.

tedibear's avatar

My mom was 46 and my dad was 40 when I was born. I was never bullied for it. I do remember a moment of surprise from a couple of friends when they learned my parents’ ages, but it was just a moment and nothing more. (This was the mid-1970’s. I was born in 1964.)

As people continue to wait to have children, I think it will become more the norm to have “older” parents.

I don’t understand what drawbacks there are for a child who grows up with older parents. The only drawback for me was that my mom died when I was 30. I would have liked to have had her in my life for a much longer time. But growing up, there wasn’t any issue.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I worked with a guy that had his second family when he was in his late 50’s. They were great kids and no one ever bothered them.

Judi's avatar

I think that older parents have a different kind of maturity and are sometimes more intentional in their parenting if they’re healthy.
My parents were older but my father was terminally ill my whole life and died when I was 10. I was teased, not because my parents were older or sick but because I was pretty much neglected because of the stress in then family. The clothes I wore, my I kept appearance. I was pretty much a rag a muffin and was never taught how to get ready for school.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@Judi I’m so sorry to hear that. I lost my father when I was young and my mother kind of fell apart. I went the opposite way and became a hell raiser. I made it through it but that is a tough way to grow up.

Judi's avatar

I’m not saying I wasn’t a hell raiser! My poor mother! I’m saying plenty of older people make exceptional parents. Our parents obviously had health issues that got in the way of their parenting. My sister in law was a single parent at 40 and did a great job.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@Judi My mother did try at times. But I was bad. The times she grounded me I stayed home, but just had all my friends over and we had the party at my house. I know I drove her nuts. I’m lucky she didn’t disown me.

Cruiser's avatar

I do not think the age of parents or having older parents is any more of a reason to pick on a kid over many other thousand reasons those bullies would use to tease or pick on any kid.

Stinley's avatar

I would say that the bullies usually pick on something obvious rather than who or what the parents are. So I disagree that this is a common problem.

You go on to mention other problems having older parents might bring. As an oldish parent – I was 38 when my younger daughter was born – I would say that the benefits of being a wiser and more financially secure parent outweigh downsides of being more tired and having less energy and being more serious. (Not that these are not complete generalisations – young parents can be exhausted and older parents fun!). So I would say that with everything it depends. I hope that I am a good parent with just the right blend of fun and focus.

What prompted you to ask this question? Are you a parent or thinking about your own parents?

JLeslie's avatar

Of course they can be bullied and teased for it. Some kids will pick on another kid for almost anything. It doesn’t mean they definitely will get bullied for it though. They might get bullied for having red hair or being Chinese (assuming we aren’t in China). When I was 10 I didn’t see much difference between 40 year olds and 50 year olds. They all were old. So, I am not sure if kids would notice parents age unless the parent was prematurely grey or much much older.

I don’t know how someone can think a 40 year old who considers having a baby doesn’t think about how it might affect the child? If anything an older parent understands and considers consequences more than a person in their 20’s. They worry about the child not being done with school until the parent is in their 60’s, they worry about their energy, they worry about more risk they could become ill or die before the child reaches adulthood. What older parents usually do bring is more patience, more understanding of life, and more financial stability.

bomyne's avatar

Biologically, the younger you are, the better when it comes to having kids… but socially..? My parents are ‘older’ parents. I think mum was 40, and dad was 49. I was never bullied for that reason.

Stinley's avatar

@JLeslie good point – everyone over 25 is old to a 10 year old!

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