General Question

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

[NSFW!] Why do people find sex so great to discuss, think about, joke over but get funny about watching it if it is called pornographic?

Asked by Hypocrisy_Central (21144 points ) April 7th, 2014

[NSFW!!]

Disclaimer This would be more leaning to US culture which seems to have the most problem with it; but can apply to other industrialized nations as well.

When it comes to sex, especially here in the US, it seem to be one of the top two goals people look for in a union. In the US sex is everywhere; one would be hard pressed to find much that sex doesn’t fuel, clothes, jeans food, cars, eye classes, sit coms etc. With all this lionizing of sex why do people get funny style when it comes to actually seeing it? Take the ending of Basic Instinct or a Skittles commercial. You have the bodies in the correct positions and orientation so why is it OK to have that but if you actually see the sex parts at work, then it becomes obscene or pornographic? That is a question in itself. As important as it is to so many why the big stink about seeing what is craved? The protecting the kids are weak excuse at best. They can pull up content off the Web that when I was a boy you’d never even find in the stash space of our dads and uncles. With Smart Phones that can go on the Web, who knows what they can find; even seemingly innocent searches can bring up content and images that are deemed pornographic. Are adults denying themselves to see what they crave for and seek out in real life when in print or on the scene because they feel they have to insulate youngsters from it?

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28 Answers

zenvelo's avatar

Because you @Hypocrisy_Central are unable to differentiate between pornography and just pictures and movies of intimacy. I think you don’t understand the difference between “Behind the Green Door” and “Blue is the Warmest Color.” (Hint: it’s not the difference in color.)

People in general don’t want kids watching pornography because they are not mature enough to discern that porn shows sex without healthy emotional involvement. I have no problem with my kids seeing a loving sex act on TV or the web or in a movie. But porn can be very debasing of women, and it is also often about sex that just happens when the pizza guy rings the door bell.

Why only apply to industrialized nations, and not all nations?

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@zenvelo Because you @Hypocrisy_Central are unable to differentiate between pornography and just pictures and movies of intimacy.
Neither can you so we are both in the same boat.

People in general don’t want kids watching pornography because they are not mature enough to discern that porn shows sex without healthy emotional involvement.
I am not talking about kids watching pornography, I am talking about *adults not wanting to watch something because it is deemed pornographic or the actual parts and act they want people to know they are doing so long as it is not actually seen. Sorry if I did not simplify it for you better.

But porn can be very debasing of women, and it is also often about sex that just happens when the pizza guy rings the door bell.
So having a complete story such as Eyes Wide Shut, Boys Don’t Cry, 91/2 Weeks, or even Basic Instinct would lose something or be degrading if everything else was the same only the sex scenes were not censored? If those scenes would have had view of the sex parts in action, as people want to do anyhow, it reduces the whole flick to no better than some skin flick where there is just a bed and a host boinking women or multiple women with no plot and a bare bulb?

Why only apply to industrialized nations, and not all nations?
Many indigenous people are not exposed to the media’s selling of sex foe everything nor have TV much less cable. Some also have women that walk around topless and the men could care less, a firm pair of boobs are not boner poppers in that society.

Afos22's avatar

God says sex is a sin. We are not to be lustful. Adultery will gain you eternal suffering.

Dan_Lyons's avatar

1st of all adults are not denying themselves porn. It is a giant industry and would fall apart if adults denied themselves this pleasure.

Why is is taboo to show people’s sex parts in American movies and TV? Because America and most of its adult citizens seem to enjoy acting as if they are prudes, even after all the lionizing of sex has occurred.

Seaofclouds's avatar

Sometimes it’s as simple as the fact that it is more entertaining to do it, plan to do it (talk about it), and joke about it than it is to watch other’s doing it. Not everyone enjoys watching others have sex.

In regards to why insinuate it is happening in a show versus showing it all, there are a lot of reasons for that. For starters, the shows rating (G, PG, PG-13, R, etc), time slots, intended audience, and more. Not all of those situations call for full on sex scenes. Insinuation is enough to get the point across without crossing the ratings line.

In regards to actual pornography (which is different from just a sex scene in a movie), there are a lot of people that do not like the pornography industry for various reasons. For each of those people, there are people that find it entertaining.

In regards to children, it really depends on the child. I would not want my son watching just anything (be it a sex scene or actual porno) while he is learning about sex and sexuality. This isn’t because I have bad feelings about any of it, but because I want to be sure he learns the reality of sex and sexuality, and not just something he sees on tv/internet. Will he see sex on the screen, of course he will. I just hope he is educated enough about it before hand to know what is real and what isn’t (just like many other things in movies).

Coloma's avatar

For me, as much as I have enjoyed my sexuality, and was on the ground floor when the porn industry exploded with the advent of VCRs and video stores in the early 80’s, I do not like or agree with porn, and its mass movement the last 30 years or so. I am old school and believe sexuality should not be a form of entertainment. I think porn is a pain and shame based industry, and remains so, regardless of how acceptable and available it has become. I also agree with @Seaofclouds sharing, porn is not a healthy introduction to sexuality for boys.

We’re not talkin’ about sneaking dads 1960’s Playboys anymore, we’re talkin’ extremes these days.

Smitha's avatar

It could be because many people believe sex is natural and not something that should be shared in private. They believe porn to be gross and degrading to women. Moreover sex is supposed to be a beautiful experience for a couple, but porn usually turns this beautiful experience into sick exploitation of people’s bodies for financial gain.

pleiades's avatar

I just came here to watch the veterans duke it out :D

Oh and also, can you simplify the overall question?

rojo's avatar

Generally speaking, as a nation we are sexually repressed. On one hand we have our prudish puritan upbringing and our evangelical “friends” telling us that anything fun is wrong and on the other we have modern society telling us what two (or more) consenting adults do is fine and we are stuck in the middle trying to enjoy ourselves without showing that we are doing so.

It is the same dichotomy that brought us prohibition while we consumed more alcohol during that timeframe than at any time prior to it.

Dan_Lyons's avatar

It is the same dichotomy that brought us prohibition while we consumed more alcohol during that timeframe than at any time prior to it.”

Too funny. And too true!

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@Afos22 God says sex is a sin. We are not to be lustful. Adultery will gain you eternal suffering.
Believers would know that, however, this is not a question for believers; it is a question for Fluther.

@Seaofclouds In regards to actual pornography (which is different from just a sex scene in a movie), there are a lot of people that do not like the pornography industry for various reasons.
In reality what would be the difference than a movie that had 5 sex scenes with the gyrating bodies in the right positions but seeing nothing and a movie with 2 extended sex scenes where all the naughty bit were seen doing what they do best, especially if both had plots, scene changes, location changes etc.? The only thing taking one from rated R to rated X is the added second where the naughty bits are seen?

@Coloma I am old school and believe sexuality should not be a form of entertainment.
Some of the early porn flicks were. One can take any of the aforementioned movies and turned them into the classier porn of yesteryear. The sets might have been cheaper, and the talent unknown, but instead of seeing a man thrusting against a woman you would have seen what he was thrusting and where.

I think porn is a pain and shame based industry, and remains so, regardless of how acceptable and available it has become.
Today’s porn has little to do with an actual movie but sex reality TV. You would not see anything like the classic Devil in Mrs. Jones, which actually had a plot and lines.

I also agree with @Seaofclouds sharing, porn is not a healthy introduction to sexuality for boys.
It is not about introducing them to it, there is so much out there it is like cow patties, if they go out on the Net, they will eventually step in some. When they do…..no, it will not be as soft as the Playboys I got a hold of as a teen.

@Smitha Moreover sex is supposed to be a beautiful experience for a couple, but porn usually turns this beautiful experience into sick exploitation of people’s bodies for financial gain.
If it is a beautiful expression of love, I doubt it, if the writers are going to put a sex scene in the movie why not have it all there in full view and glory; especially if there is nothing wrong with it.? Should a director decide to, why rate the movie with an X? If there is a story with the main characters has a romantic whatever, how can that be degrading to women?

@pleiades Oh and also, can you simplify the overall question?
Gladly, if a movie can have a sex scene where the only thing you don’t see is the naughty bits doing what they are supposed to do, and have the movie acceptable, why is the same movie with the naughty bits being seen doing what they do make the movie pornographic and unacceptable; especially when people love sex and believe there is nothing wrong with it?

@rojo On one hand we have our prudish puritan upbringing and our evangelical “friends” telling us that anything fun is wrong ..]
I would have to talk to them, I know of no evangelical friends who think sex is wrong because it is fun, in fact the Bible tell husbands and wives it is a sin to use sex as a weapon. It is very fun, but there is a proper framework

cazzie's avatar

A film maker can’t represent the feelings and emotions behind the act between two loving people by showing the graphic anatomy in action any more than I can represent the fabulous smell of my soap by showing a pile of lavenderbuds. It is more complicated than rubbing naughty bits.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Porn is just sleezy, poorly produced, generally skanky. Some oiled up dude pounding some nasty chick, boring.

Coloma's avatar

Lets also examine the trend, with porn and video games towards a rejection of reality in general. More and more people prefer porn to real relating, and the fantasy world of video games to actually participating in reality. We have become a check out society, serving up heaping helpings of escapism. For many fantasy ‘relating” takes precedence over real life relating. Internet porn, video games, texting, all substitutions, and poor ones at that, for actually being involved and engaged in reality.

Afos22's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central I was acting as the voice of the many christians of the United States, the largest religious demographic of that country. The media and politicians are religiously biased to christianity and create a naive and childish culture because of those naive and childish beliefs.

Coloma's avatar

Religion aside, I think healthy humans are not keen on having the world watch them in their most intimate moments. The entire idea of porn stars peddling their sexuality as a form of entertainment is just so far removed from what sexuality was intended to be, beyond basic reproductive function. Sexuality is intended to create a bonding experience, regardless of the archaic idea of the whole mate for life thing.
Sexuality is not on the same continuum as going out for pizza.

Smitha's avatar

One major reason could be Porn is something we are taught to be ashamed of right from childhood days yet many people spend the majority of their lives trying to have it and feel rejected when they don’t attain it. Another reason could be the kids? People hesitate to watch because porn violates young kids. The pornographic images depicted in movies are often reflections of sex that have nothing to do with real life. Though we adults don’t mind watching it the kids lack the context to know that.
There are some who don’t mind discussing it but when it comes to watching porn they get jealous of other people getting more sex than they may be get. (one of my friend’s opinion)

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@KNOWITALL Porn is just sleezy, poorly produced, generally skanky. Some oiled up dude pounding some nasty chick, boring.
Again, if any of those big budget films actually showed the penis splitting the labia would that single act reduce it to porn? And why would it not be some kind of soft porn, even if it is never called that, to have the bodies in the right positions, making the right moans and grunts, gyrating the right way for boinking, but without the sight of actual penetration?

@Afos22 The media and politicians are religiously biased to christianity and create a naive and childish culture because of those naive and childish beliefs
I don’t know if that came from the media and government, they seem to be more anti-Christian for as long as I can remember. The media makes every Christian seem like some inept stooge or some crazy zealot. Government has eradicated Jesus from the schools and public buildings so well, you need an electron microscope to find any trace of Him there. A naïve and childish culture was created but not by the media of the government, their actions might be a byproduct of such, but not the origin IMO.

@Coloma Sexuality is intended to create a bonding experience, regardless of the archaic idea of the whole mate for life thing.
Sexuality is not on the same continuum as going out for pizza.
These days it is more like going through the drive-thru for a burger and fries.

@Smitha One major reason could be Porn is something we are taught to be ashamed of right from childhood days yet many people spend the majority of their lives trying to have it and feel rejected when they don’t attain it.
Holy smokes Bullwinkle; I think we have a glimmer of some truth here. People spend a lot of time chasing it, dreaming of it, trying to let everyone know you are getting it and often but no one wants to see it in film or in a movie; well not in its entirety. I guess because they feel seeing sex is worse than doing it whenever with whoever.

People hesitate to watch because porn violates young kids.
How? If it is as been said, some greasy old fart boinking some hot college skank, how are kids harmed by that if they are not watching it, but adults?

There are some who don’t mind discussing it but when it comes to watching porn they get jealous of other people getting more sex than they may be get. (one of my friend’s opinion)
I have heard that track as well.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@Afo Christians are naive & childish? That is certainly not true, indeed a lot of us saw the worst & changed.

Afos22's avatar

@KNOWITALL not all. :)
@Hypocrisy_Central You must not be from America. Creation is taught in schools in the south. There are religious schools as well, where church activities and learning about Jesus is part of the curriculum. As for politics, religion is always part of the dialogue (prayer, faith, god bless America, keep creationism in schools) and the media loves mentioning prayer and faith as well. (he/she is blessed, we’re praying for them, we need to keep faith) religion is ingrained and forced on the culture of America. And because of that, casual sex and sex before marriage is taboo because it’s supposed to be morally wrong according to the Bible.

cazzie's avatar

There is so much wrong in this question and some of the answers, I don’t know where to start. If ANYONE aspires to be the character in a porn I think there are some seriously deep-seated problems. I don’t care about what Christians think. That is their problem. As far as I’m concerned, if someone NEEDS to see the ‘in and out’ of the sex act, they have a problem I don’t want to have anything to do with.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@Afos22 […religion is ingrained and forced on the culture of America. And because of that, casual sex and sex before marriage is taboo because it’s supposed to be morally wrong according to the Bible.
Not from what I see here in Cali. They have effectively eliminated God from the school halls, and even in the court of law. Church schools are not considered school, schools, but school ran by church, which is different from public school; and often something to be feared.

rojo's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central I don’t think that church schools are feared. At most the less religious believe that the education provided is subpar and agenda driven.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@rojo At most the less religious believe that the education provided is subpar and agenda driven.
A lot of what I hear of the schools around here, might be different where you are, is that the education is better than public, but dangerous because it is “driven” aka indoctrination; and indoctrination scares people…..even thought that is not what is going on.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@Hc Here our Catholic/Christian schools are far superior to public schools.

Paradox25's avatar

Personally I don’t think porn degrades women anymore than men. It puts unrealistic expectations on men too, and nobody forces any person regardless of their sex to perform in these movies or videos. There are all kinds of porn too, and many fetish based ones I could easily say degrade men in many ways too. I’m not being politically correct here so who knows what will follow.

Personally I think this is a good question. People are given a higher status for having sex, whether this is in a serious relationship or for kicks. This is probably the mind set that causes virgins to be looked down upon, especially if they’re a guy (or these days even a boy). Ironically the same elements that ridicule virginity or lack of game appear to play at least a major role in perpetuating this hypocrisy.

I think porn gets a bad rap for several reasons. One is an issue I’m not going to bother bringing up here for I don’t feel like being called a misogynist, but it’s probably the single biggest reason in my opinion. The others are stereotypes, where people, usually men of course, who are into porn either can’t get anyone to like or sleep with them, or similar images, so they’re labeled as being losers. The other exception of course would be the very rare religious or conservative person that does neither of the what you had mentioned, but at least they’re not being hypocrites.

You’re right though, sex is everywhere, and yet many of the people pushing this like to look for scapegoats by attacking other elements not considered politically correct. In my opinion the pushing of sex by both media and the public probably causes way more problems than the porn industry.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@Paradox25 I think porn gets a bad rap for several reasons. One is an issue I’m not going to bother bringing up here for I don’t feel like being called a misogynist,
That really has my interest piqued, I would love to hear your thoughts on that; PM?

People are given a higher status for having sex, whether this is in a serious relationship or for kicks. This is probably the mind set that causes virgins to be looked down upon, especially if they’re a guy (or these days even a boy).
Then they wonder why there are some many knocked up teen girls, if you are going to tell a guy he is a loser or some Cretin because he can’t get laid and he makes it a point to get laid, who will be he doing it with but the daughter of America?

Espiritus_Corvus's avatar

God, man, please. Just please grow the fuck up.

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