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raven860's avatar

Do most parents know what their child is up to?

Asked by raven860 (2144 points ) April 8th, 2014

As in some of the more illegal or bad things such as bullying they may be participating in. What is a parent’s perception of such things?

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14 Answers

cookieman's avatar

All parents? All children? All undesirable activities?

Sorry, this is far too broad of a question and almost impossible to answer as stated.

Speaking for myself: my daughter is eleven and all she is up to that may be considered undesirable, is letting her little white dog lick her in the face far too much.

Anecdotally, I think many parents are clueless about their kids whereabouts, friends and activities. Perhaps by choice, because they don’t know how to deal with such things.

I’ve known more than a few parents who were great when the kids were little, but basically checked out when they became teenagers. They didn’t know how to communicate with or relate to them, so it was just easier to turn a blind eye.

longgone's avatar

Depends. There are kids getting up to all sorts of stuff. On the other hand, there’s also parents suspecting god-knows-what even though their children are good kids.

Personally, my parents almost always knew what I was doing. I think trust is needed here. Show your children you’re there for them even if they mess up, and they’ll open up.

Smitha's avatar

No most parents are not aware about what they are up to nowadays, especially with the social networking sites and cellphones.
My daughter is now 10 and I have always viewed my daughter in a positive light as she moves into and through all stages. Till now everything is fine, she tells me everything and I listen to her patiently, but the most challenging phase would be her teenage years. During that stage they will be in a process of trying to form their own identity separate from their parents and many kids start keeping secrets from Parents. All we can do is spend time out with them. Be very open and available to talk. Teach them the importance of God being in their life. Try to know their friends and their parents and engage in activities together. The better the communication between kids and parents, the less chance there will be for them to go astray and get involved in risky or inappropriate behavior. Let them know parents will always be there for them.

Cruiser's avatar

Most parents? I would be surprised to find any parent that knows everything their kids are up to behind their backs. I have stories galore of the strictest of parents who were clueless as to what their golden child was really up to.

I check in on both my kids daily and so far at least one has been able to surprise the hell out of us and just waiting for the youngest to pull off a stunt or two. Facebook is a good/bad dealy in that you can pretty much see who, what, where and when your kid is at. Cell phones are another give-away of their comings and goings if you so choose to not trust your child. Trust is everything between a child and parent and both can screw that up in a heartbeat if it is not respected.

JLeslie's avatar

I always find it ridiculous when a parent tells me they know everything their child is up to. Another ignorance is believing their child will tell them everything.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

My mother is still finding out stuff I did as a kid. My brother and I will be talking about some memories and stuff comes up she had no clue about. We were wild as kids and she has no idea of some of the stuff we did.

rojo's avatar

I doubt it. There is too much time apart, too many opportunities to make mistakes or screw up. I think many parents also put on blinders when it comes to their children. They don’t want to know and won’t believe it even when shown.

Mimishu1995's avatar

I’m a teen, and my parents don’t know I’m here.

Your question has been answered.

DominicX's avatar

My parents kinda did know everything I was up to. But that’s because I’ve always had a pretty transparent relationship with my parents. I did tell them everything and they were always good at “sensing” things. They didn’t always know the specifics, but they had a pretty good idea of what I was up to. But then again, I wasn’t really ever “up to” that much.

But there’s a reason why almost every parent of a bully says “my child would never do that”. Well, they just did, so obviously you didn’t know them very well…

zenvelo's avatar

I have two teenagers at home. I figure I have about 50% awareness of what they are up to. I am fairly confident I have a good idea, but definitely no specifics.

I am pretty sure they aren’t using drugs or drinking, but they may have experimented. I don’t think they bully other kids or even condone it, because I know each of them has spoken out about it. And while they may have experimented sexually, neither of them has an active boyfriend or girlfriend.

And, I check their facebook pages everyone once in a while, most of which is pretty mundane stuff all around.

So, while I don’t know a lot of details, I do trust them.

dxs's avatar

I highly doubt my parents knew everything I was doing. I wonder if they know I Fluther.

Mimishu1995's avatar

@dxs Let’s join the “Dr. Jelly’s runaway children” club together!

dxs's avatar

@Mimishu1995 I’m already in it!

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