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jlk2525's avatar

How do I overcome putting too much pressure on myself?

Asked by jlk2525 (176 points ) April 9th, 2014

Various people recently including my hairdresser say I put a lot of pressure on myself. I see it as I wont settle for what I don’t deserve and I’m looking for things that are great, not just simply OK. This applies to relationships, lifestyle and career. I know sometimes I want something so much that I get scared it won’t happen and I’m anxious until I do get. When I do get it I’m not ecstatic though because thats what I expect of myself. I don’t necessarily see it as an achievement. My close friends and family tell me I will be successful but I still am anxious. I mostly get what I want, so to a degree this approach to life is working, but over time its making me unhappy and fearful therefore holding me back. Have you experienced this and what strategies and/or approaches did you take in overcoming this?

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7 Answers

Smitha's avatar

Take your own time to do something perfectly and avoid planting unnecessary stress and worries in your mind. Remind yourself that if you pressure yourself too much to be successful, you’re going to wear yourself out before you get there. If possible take a weekend off. Such breaks really help you to relax and de-stress.

Cruiser's avatar

I have acquired things and achieved goals that I then felt…heck, that is not as fulfilling as I expected. I think this can all be avoided by working towards thing that will be most meaningful and enriching in your life. This requires being self aware of what happiness means to you. Nothing can truly make you happy other than yourself. Once you are able to define this inner happiness you can then make better assessment as to what thing and or experiences even people that will enhance your happiness.

thorninmud's avatar

This is fundamentally an ego problem. You’re beginning to see what an insatiable tyrant ego can be, and that’s an important insight. Trying to satisfy its compulsions does make you unhappy and fearful.

The only way to address this is to thoroughly understand how ego functions, how indulging it makes you unhappy, and based on that, how to disarm it. None of this is easy; it involves a whole lot of patient persistence. You’ve probably gotten pretty good at doggedly pursuing what you want, and that knack for determination might serve you well in the beginning stages of letting go of ego. But you’ll get to a point where you’ll find that you can’t both rely on ego-fueled determination and let go of ego. It’s at that point that you’ll either abandon the effort or learn to tap into your ego-less resources. It’s an amazing adventure.

sunshineluv66's avatar

Expectations will kill you every time. Stop expecting some great outcome from yourself or people and things will become easier.

jerv's avatar

Realistic expectations are the key. While aspirations are good for motivation, when aspirations become expectations, you’ll live a stress-filled life of perpetual disappointment.

chewhorse's avatar

.. Not to mention ulcers and a potential heart condition. Stressful anxiety is the number one culprit.

Honesttruthspeaker's avatar

Yes, I understand. I feel I am the same. I do not settle for just anything. When I was younger I stressed a lot about this issue, but in time, to make myself feel better, I just decided to be confident in myself and ignore what other people say. When you change the thought alone, where you are not “pressured” but more in the highly confident direction, your shoulders will be lighter. Even up to today, I am always working extremely hard to provide the life I didn’t have as a child. I work 4 online jobs and also have at home business. Best of luck!

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