I don't know, is this being unreasonable or does it make sense to you? (Ranty/long post)

Alright, this will probably be a bit rant-y, but whatever.

Anyways, my mother usually doesn’t do much for birthdays, maybe $20 of trinkets or what have you from princess auto (I don’t know if you guys have that in the states), I don’t really expect much.

Anyways, I guess since I turned 20 (whatever the big difference between this year and last year is), she decided to spend a lot, paying off the SGI bills that I have from some [edited]not slowing down when the light had been red (long annoying story). Anyways it was $2000 or so, I was making $50 a month payments, so it would be another couple years, but thing is I was used to that. I’m not sure why she bothered to spend that much this time, some sort of “ooh you’re 20 new start stuff”.

Anyways, I am grateful, but I view things in just plain practical terms, the money itself would have been a lot more useful. With that I could have A) bought a new hard drive for the laptop I’m waiting to get one for, since my other one just crapped out today, I’m stuck without one, B) build a new desktop computer, better than this crappy old core 2 quad that sucks at running any remotely new games, and freezes at least once a day for no [edited]reason (Can’t fix it no matter what I try, and once a day is if I’m lucky to get that few, and that means I have to use a less powerful laptop for file recovery which takes considerably longer if I do get work), and C) also still been able to put $1000, maybe a bit less, maybe more, towards the stupid SGI payments.

To me it just seems that the money would have been a lot more useful, even just the half of it for a new hard drive or making a non-[edited]desktop would have made me happy. Hell I was just looking forward to the hard drive that way I could get a laptop up and running again. I am not expressive about getting stuff, I don’t really react in much of a way aside from “thanks” or “thank you” (and I have been up for over 20 hours now), so I pretty much explained when she sort of complained about my lack of reaction that that would have been much more valuable to me. Having some better stuff now just seems a lot more valuable than having to not pay $50 a month for the next couple years since I am used to it, and the computers would be something tactile, something that I could make use of now.

I don’t know, is this unreasonable of me? It makes perfect sense to me, but than again I am somewhat messed up I guess, I was actually disappointing with this and not getting an $80 hard drive instead.