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hug_of_war's avatar

I may be the only person who believes in me, how do I deal?

Asked by hug_of_war (9626 points ) April 18th, 2014 from iPhone

As you may know I’m going to graduate school in August. I’m having to make hard decisions.

I had a very bad time when I moved to college 8 years ago. To the point I dropped out and moved home. In a lot of ways I got my shit together, but due to my Asperger’s and low vision I still have some struggles.

I desperately want to be independent, to feel like my own person instead of an extension of my parents’ wants. They don’t want me to do this, but I’m nearly 26 and running out of hope to do something I love, to make more than minimum wage, to be myself.

I feel suffocated by trying to prove I’m ready this time (I wasn’t diagnosed with AS at the time) but also really wanting to follow my own hopes.

This is a vague question, but it boils down to, how do you make really hard choices that may mean you are the only person who believes in you?

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8 Answers

lillycoyote's avatar

Free your mind and your ass will follow. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone just believe in yourself and everyone else will follow. And if they don’t, fuck ‘em.

Cruiser's avatar

You won’t succeed until you believe in yourself. You are by now old enough where you have to take stock in where you are compared to where you once were. It sounds like you have had an umbilical cord that has kept you secure. At 26 you really have no choice but to put on your big boy/(girl) pants and finally do this on your own. IMO you will surprise yourself with just how capable you are to do this….good luck.

LornaLove's avatar

In a polite and respectful way, talk to your parents. You might want to make notes first, so that you remember what to say. Ask them, when they are gone, how will you cope if you never try? Tell them you do believe in yourself and that is a gift unto itself. Many people do not believe in themselves despite perfect health.

Ask them if you can write down their fears because that way you can find an answer to each statement or fear and get back to them with an answer.

You need to pat yourself on the back, you are a fighter and determined. You will win.

zenzen's avatar

@hug_of_war as someone who has followed your missings and musings since your arrival 5 years ago, and before that at wis.dm I can say, I, for one, also believe in you.

linguaphile's avatar

The decisions I made that I felt the strongest about, regardless or support, always turned out to be the best. Support, for me, has a way of materializing when I am doing what’s right for me.

El_Cadejo's avatar

“I may be the only person who believes in me”

You are the only one that matters at the end of the day.

hearkat's avatar

I also believe in you.

Heck, when I went to grad school even I didn’t believe in myself! But I knew it was necessary I order to have a career that I enjoyed and would earn a decent living.

You know what you want, and you know that it will be challenging to achieve it, but you also know that the end result will be worth it. Just keep looking ahead and knowing that there will be a time when you look back on these tough years with pride.

Do not hesitate to use whatever resources you have to get assistance because of your low vision. There is the Division of Vocational Rehabilitation, and the University is sure to have an office to assist students with special needs. Grad school is hard enough as it is, so if there are options to ease some of your stress, make the most of them.

You’ve got this girlie, and when you need us, your cheer squad is here to give you a boost!

snowberry's avatar

This may not be a good fit for you, but is there a sheltered home available to someone like you (to provide services such as cleaning or help shopping, etc)? I know low vision can make every day living challenging.

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