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Lunar_Landscape's avatar

Did your parents do serious emotional damage to you?

Asked by Lunar_Landscape (167 points ) April 28th, 2014

The way I see it, that’s pretty much the inevitable result of having kids. Is there anyone who’s parents actually weren’t like that?

And PS: I’m not saying that I think it’s acceptable for parents to be like that just because it’s inevitable for it to happen. It’s unacceptable. A world where there are no parents and so no population growth and a human race doomed to extinction is more bearable of an idea to me than a world where parents are always getting away with this sort of thing.

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11 Answers

janbb's avatar

Here’s the quintessential statement on the topic.

marinelife's avatar

Think about it. There is no course for parenting taught anywhere. Our parents are wounded just as we are. They are doing the best they can within that framework.

I have long ago worked though my anger with my parents, and taken responsibility for my own choices as an adult.

SadieMartinPaul's avatar

When we had no leisure time – when entire families worked their farms, or when 14-year-olds had to work 6–½ days per week in textile mills – there was no opportunity for self-absorption. Everyone lived day-to-day for survival. Free time’s a luxury, as is adolescence. No, I’m not advocating a return to prior labor conditions. I’m just saying that until sometime during the 20th century, very few people had the chance to be neurotic.

Yes, my parents damaged me badly. But, I moved forward and built a life of my own .

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

I’m not sure how they did it by my parents did and said exactly what they needed to when they needed to do it. No, they did not screw me up, they did the opposite.

Blondesjon's avatar

Yes. Yes they did and I share a lot of that responsibility.

This is why I have done my best to, hopefully, only inflict superficial emotional damage to my own children.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Hasn’t happened to me but I have seen in on people close to me. So folks should have kept to themselves and not bothered to start families. Sometimes the cut is so deep no amount of stitching up will help. Some very interesting answers here, very honest and real.

yankeetooter's avatar

Yep…another good reason to not want any kids…

tinyfaery's avatar

What is serious damage? I think people have different definitions of that concept.

anniereborn's avatar

Yes they did. I agree that it’s a tough job to be a parent and no one is “perfect”. However, there are definitely lines crossed that qualify as abuse. Anyone that has PTSD from growing up in their family have sustained serious damage.

talljasperman's avatar

My step father (R.I.P.) throttled me in his car and threatened to kill me and my mom if I didn’t obey him when i was 6. Thank god he is dead.

anniereborn's avatar

@talljasperman I am so very sorry to hear that. I am glad he is gone from your life.

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