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Friend tried to get my boyfriend to cheat on me.

Asked by seekingwolf (9847 points ) May 5th, 2014

Okay, so I’ve actually written about the friend before. “Mooch” on a previous question. He is better but I am still going to refer to him as Mooch for now.

Okay, so yesterday, my boyfriend came up to me and showed me some texts. Mooch is lonely and wants to go to an Asian massage parlour with a happy ending, if you know what I mean. He texted my boyfriend asking if he wanted to come. My boyfriends responded “No, I don’t want to and I’m with seekingwolf so… yeah, that’s cheating.”

Mooch responded with “Well yeah I know you’re with her but you can have something on the side could be fun, blah blah”
Minutes after this exchange, my boyfriend showed me the texts.

Again my boyfriend kept saying no. Mooch kept talking about it but then moved on when my bf stopped responding.

I am very upset. I don’t give a crap if Mooch wants to patronize prostitutes because that’s his own choice and his own life, but I am very upset that he is trying to convince my boyfriend to go and even acknowledged that he knows it’s cheating.

Mooch is one of my boyfriend’s good friends and is in his band, but I also considered Mooch a friend too. I have driven him to the ER when he was very hurt and needed help. I have hung out with him. I have driven him places. I have made him food. I have let him sleep in our apartment when he needed a place to stay the night. So it’s not like I’m this nameless, faceless girlfriend of his friend, I’m a friend too.

I’m just really hurt and sort of angry. My boyfriend is mad too but is worried about how to bring it up without starting drama. If we’re going to bring it up at all. I don’t want Mooch to know I saw the texts but I don’t know what to do.

Am I overreacting? I feel betrayed. How can he encourage my boyfriend to hurt me and expose to disease?

Do I confront or do I slowly try to cut him out of my life?

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