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Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

[NSFW!] Guys, you are visited by a feminine extraterrestrial whose intention is to extract your DNA, do you let her take it the natural way, or a harder way?

Asked by Hypocrisy_Central (21539 points ) May 16th, 2014

Guys, imagine that it is 3am in the morning and you hear several loud bangs and realize it is your front door being knocked on. Before you can get there to open it, it is beat open and a sexy robot enters. She says she is a mechanized ambassador from planet so-and-so and she needs to collect DNA samples from 1,500 males. She tells you that you can do it the easy way, go back to your bed, undress and lie down so she can extract it the natural way, or you can disobey and she will do it the hard way, by holding you down and extract it by a long syringe like apparatus inserted into your testicles. Once you are sure that you are not high or drunk, which way would you have her take your DNA?

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18 Answers

ragingloli's avatar

I would unleash my tentacles and test how ‘feature complete’ she is.

Dan_Lyons's avatar

In this case it would have to be the hard way!

talljasperman's avatar

I would just offer her my wastebasket. Their is plenty of live DNA inside.

Crazydawg's avatar

I introduce her/it to my over under and end it’s intergalactic journey.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

If it were more like this then hell I’d give it all natural. But it’s not leaving. A little reprogramming, some mechanical enhancements and then that robot bitch belongs to me. It’ll be months before I so much as log back on to Fluther.

Seek's avatar

@ARE_you_kidding_me – That robot chick has no nipples.

All that work to make a life-like robot chick, and they left out the nipples?

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

@Seek That would fall under “mechanical enhancements”

Mimishu1995's avatar

I want the easy way, but I’m sure she can’t :(

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

@Mimishu1995 Never underestimate the creative power of horny engineers to make life-like opposite sex robots.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@talljasperman I would just offer her my wastebasket. Their is plenty of live DNA inside.
That would not be fresh, and it is contaminated by the contents of the trash.

@Crazydawg I introduce her/it to my over under and end it’s intergalactic journey.
And perhaps start an intergalactic war, how would you explain that to the Pentagon?

@ARE_you_kidding_me All I can say is intriguing……

@Seek All that work to make a life-like robot chick, and they left out the nipples?
They may have felt they would one day have to go through US customs, in the US we hate nipples, even if you don’t see them but you know they are there, they are hated. They were going to have robobras to hide the nipples but ran out of cash, and someone thought the box of robopasties were a box of condoms and left them on the mother ship. So not to offend us Earthlings, they removed the nipple to make the breast less offensive.

Symbeline's avatar

Haha look at the head. Looks like a cross between a wielding mask and a Viking helmet. And the neck looks like a vacuum pipe/hose thing.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

^ I think the vacuum area would be further south…....

Winter_Pariah's avatar

If I feel lazy, might as well screw up.

Otherwise, a bit of rough foreplay may be in order.

Then again if I wake up grouchy, the robot ambassador may end up experiencing an extreme hardware malfunction due to a case of shotgun-or-crowbar-or-makeshift-EMP-or-electromagnet-to-the-face-repeatedly.

gondwanalon's avatar

I’ll tell it that it may extract my DNA from my saliva as I spit into it’s face.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

^ You do know “she” would have the strength and ability to toss you around the room like a roll of t-paper, if not call an invasion of Earth, right?

flutherother's avatar

I don’t like having my front door beaten open by robots at 3:00am. I am also not keen on having a long syringe like apparatus inserted into my testicles but thanks for asking.

ragingloli's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central
Let us turn this around.
Assume that the robot that kicks down your door is a male model, and he wants to inject the DNA extracting nanite paste into your anal cavity via a phallic injector.
Do you submit, or will he have to force himself upon you and use razor sharp spikes on his phallus to make sure you do not slip off?

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

^ I guess I will have quite a tale to tell in the ER because there is no way on God’s green earth would I do something as such willingly.

See how easy it is to actually answer a question.

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