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Aster's avatar

Ready for a hypothetical about your lifestyle choice?

Asked by Aster (15577 points ) May 21st, 2014

Which would you prefer and why? You have, say, two+ million dollars cash. You have to make one of only two choices for your last ten years of life: #1 would be to live near a bossy, controlling son or daughter who , while doing a great job, resents having to look after you, clothe you, etc. and you hate that they’re doing these chores almost as much as they do or #2 live a thousand or more miles away from any family members and just pay nurses and caretakers to do everything for you with extreme gratitude for the job. Which would you like better? There is no #3 option available.

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23 Answers

zenvelo's avatar

I’d choose to #2. I don’t want the stress of resentful family interactions. And neither would they. The money has nothing to do with it other than giving one the freedom to get away from family dynamics.

Aster's avatar

Yes; the money goes a long way to getting a person far away!

Crazydawg's avatar

No brainer. #2 No desire to be around bossy and controlling anybody even my own offspring. besides, I raised them to be on their own anyway.

FlyingWolf's avatar

Option 2 without a doubt, I’d probably leave what was left of the $2 million to the caregivers too.

cookieman's avatar

#2 and can I hire an attractive redhead to lead my team of nurses please?

Stinley's avatar

Yep. Option 2 for me. Best of both – family can see me when they want as I can pay for them to visit, and I can be looked after in the way that suits me. Maybe money can buy happiness…

Unbroken's avatar

Another joined for option 2

GloPro's avatar

Be careful using the term chosen lifestyle.
I already live thousands of miles away. Pass the cash.

stanleybmanly's avatar

I’m not certain the 2 mil would last the full 10 years. Anyway the 2nd option is of course best. The kid can come visit. @cookieman has a nice approach. Nurses and caretakers with benefits, oh my! Perhaps the money wouldn’t be needed for 10 years after all. One might die smiling from exhaustion, and leave the kid a substantial pile of money as a bonus

SadieMartinPaul's avatar

@Aster ”[N]urses and caretakers to do everything for you with extreme gratitude for the job.”

I’ve been responsible for my gravely-ill mother for the past 3 years. I’ve learned that most caretakers get paid minimum wage, resent the exhausting job duties, and move along as quickly as possible. This is true for any facility or home-care agency. The employer collects hefty fees and passes along very little of it to the hands-on workers.

Now, getting back to your hypothetical choices… If I were in a position to hire a nurse directly, and pay him/her a generous wage, that would be the way to go. The individual would, indeed, be grateful for the job and the fair paycheck, and he/she would likely take good care of me.

livelaughlove21's avatar

Who would pick 1?

Aster's avatar

She’s not just controlling. She also calls me nasty names like “rude” and others. Her friends think she’s fabulous since she is always doing unexpected favors for so many people, keeps herself , her kids and her house spotless at all times (while pointing out that I don’t ), takes the kids to church three times per week and will work outside in 98 degree weather because of her work ethic . An ethic I can’t match and don’t wish to try. In other words, she always is knocking me down, insulting me then surprises me with some nice effort.
I heard once that “the most important thing you can do for your kids is to respect their mother. ” My ex, Satan, didn’t do that and she has been like this since she married Mr Perfection fifteen years ago. Both are neat freaks, which is a good thing but I just can’t measure up. Never should have moved here. Her husband works 120 hours a week and if you don’t do the same or at least close to it you’re dog meat and he has partly turned her against me. Well, at least I’m not 5’9” tall and 250 pounds ilke he is.

janbb's avatar

Hypothetical, huh?

FlyingWolf's avatar

Oh @Aster, please leave and get some carers to treat you with the respect you deserve.

LuckyGuy's avatar

#2 – I’ll bet there are even some nice jellies you can trust who would take the job.

cookieman's avatar

@Aster: You need to surround yourself with caregivers who give a shit — even if you are paying them.

Unbroken's avatar

I am very sorry to hear that Aster. I hope you do have the means and are capable of moving.

filmfann's avatar

I am going with #1.
While I would never want to be a burdon to my kids, I would worry about their own feelings of regret after I died, if they had not spent those last years near them. That’s the shit that eats you alive.

Coloma's avatar

#2 hands down. I’d rather be dead than guilt tripped. lol

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